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Why Do Everton Players Have Such Terrible Facial Hair?


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#1 Jesse_Wray

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Posted 22 Feb 2010 - 22:56

Great to see that Moyes has got the boys back into terrific form. But now I feel he should turn his focus to one of the most pressing issues at the club.

What the hell is going on with the shit facial hair?

Both Osman and Jags have been guilty of sporting crappy little moustaches in the past - and they're the kind of mos that you're not sure if they're meant to be there or not.
Pienaar and Saha have also maintained fairly suspect facial hair.

But Leighton Baines is clearly the worst offender. For the last few weeks I haven't been able to work out if he's making a terrible attempt to grow a beard or if he has lost his razor. The patchy sideburns, upper lip fuzz and general bad coverage on his chin just looks woeful.

Perhaps, in the wake of the handball controversy, Baines can take Thierry Henry's spot in the Gillette advertisements. Something needs to be done.
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#2 The Beard

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Posted 22 Feb 2010 - 23:05

maybe I should offer them some tips!!! :lol:
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#3 Parapluie

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Posted 22 Feb 2010 - 23:45

Dont forget about Arteta and Fellaini I seem to notice their facial hair the most
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#4 Jesse_Wray

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Posted 23 Feb 2010 - 00:05

I can't say that I've noticed Felli's too much (his afro is probably pulling too much focus!).
But I'm totally fine with Arteta's, mainly because he looks as though he can actually grow a decent beard...
Posted Image

Now, although that's just an un-maintained growth after a few days, it's streets ahead of what Baines, Osman and Jags can muster.
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#5 dweagle6

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Posted 23 Feb 2010 - 00:32

Usually just a read these forums but i think this thread is hilarious

Came across this picture

Posted Image

Wish him a speedy recovery as well!
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#6 nutmegwolf203

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Posted 23 Feb 2010 - 03:10

We certainly have a crop of unique players.

Jags' dirt stash is embarassing and well...dirty.

Mo's fro should never go, neither should his facial hair. I'm a big fan of the rustic look. It says "I have much more important things to worry about, like skipping around "Tiny Baby" Bellamy, chipping Almunia (with highlights no less) and making John Terry look like a statue".

They should all grow beards to preserve this wonderful form we're in. I bet they'd do it, Gosling made a comment about team mentality after the win and from the look of things everyone seems like they're all genuinely great friends.

We can call them The Beardo Blues
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#7 Romey 1878

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Posted 23 Feb 2010 - 09:02

Jags can be forgiven anything though, he's our very own brick wall (you shall not pass!) B).
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#8 adz09

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Posted 23 Feb 2010 - 09:04

facial hair is very much in vogue ladies and gents, we should encourage our players.
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#9 craigb

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Posted 23 Feb 2010 - 09:25

haha great topic Jesse! I agree with all comments made, but im with jesse in the fact that arteta can actually grow a decent beard! Hibbert had a little go himself not to long ago aswell
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#10 MikeO

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Posted 23 Feb 2010 - 09:28

Gosling won't be able to join in until he hits puberty :D .
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#11 marcopaulo

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Posted 23 Feb 2010 - 11:12

i noticed his little attempt at stubble the other day but he dont look old enough to shave!
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#12 evertonusa

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Posted 25 Feb 2010 - 16:48

Don't forget about Billy's 'stache that he's got goin on
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#13 Bunny Blue Nose

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Posted 25 Feb 2010 - 18:34

Superb!! Great post, although Yobo has had a decent tache for years?
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#14 Matt

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Posted 25 Feb 2010 - 20:04

i'd love to join in the banter but at nearly 27 years old and havent shaved in the last week, the most ive been able to muster is a french porn-star moustahe and chin fluff....
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#15 BrotherEstapol

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Posted 01 Mar 2010 - 01:39

i'd love to join in the banter but at nearly 27 years old and havent shaved in the last week, the most ive been able to muster is a french porn-star moustahe and chin fluff....

I'm not alone! :o
I'm 24 and I can't grow anything resembling facial hair...I've seen old ladies with more formidable mustaches that what I can muster.

:(
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#16 c1982

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Posted 01 Mar 2010 - 22:34

Came across this picture

Posted Image


:gay: childish I know!!!
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#17 MatthewT

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Posted 02 Mar 2010 - 00:11

As an avid beard grower, I'm all for the beards ( though Baines needs to just give up!). I don't think i've had a close shave in about 5 years...Beardcore!
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#18 Lowensda

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Posted 02 Mar 2010 - 13:12

If our boys all had clean shaves, they wouldn't look far out of place in our under-12's youth set-up! :lol:
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#19 Matt

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Posted 03 Mar 2010 - 17:39

I'm not alone! :o
I'm 24 and I can't grow anything resembling facial hair...I've seen old ladies with more formidable mustaches that what I can muster.

:(

definately not alone dude. was in Brazil for 2 weeks, forgot my razor. got home with about 5mm long on my chin and french pornstar moustache, random patches on the cheeks and for some weird fuckin reason, it was ginger. i felt rather hard done to, i really want a beard! or at least the option....
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#20 MikeO

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Posted 03 Mar 2010 - 17:48

got home with about 5mm long on my chin and french pornstar moustache, random patches on the cheeks...


Works for Johnny Depp....he's even gone as far as to live in France to enhance the effect :P .

Wonder if he can play right-back :mellow: ?
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#21 Churinga2

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Posted 03 Mar 2010 - 18:05

LOL at the topic ^^
never noticed it before, but there is truth in it
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