FairWooney Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 I love this Newsarse site! Everton’s Tim Cahill was last night accosted by a group of angry corner flags hell-bent on revenge after years of unprovoked attacks by the Australian midfielder. Cahill is said to be in a stable condition and is recovering at home after the attack which took place in the Stanley park region of Liverpool. One eye witness told the police, “He put up a good fight, but there were just too many of them - it was really quite vicious.” “We’re pretty sure we heard one of the flags screaming, ‘bob and weave this you smug Aussie twat’ as it jabbed itself into his groin area.” “They waited till he went down, then shouted some more obscenities before making their way back to the kit shed.” Revenge Criminology experts have agreed that thanks to Cahill’s systematic abuse, it was only a matter of time before an incident such as this took place. Dr David Shlatter explained, “You simply can’t expect to pick on someone for this long and not expect some form of payback. To be honest, the only surprise is that it’s taken this long for them to launch an attack of their own.” “There would have come a time when every Everton goal would have been met with a resigned groan as the flags began to expect their usual beatings.” “The fact that Cahill got away with it for so long is further evidence of a society which tolerates criminal behaviour, as long as you’re quite good at kicking a football.” “However, it seems obvious to me that no matter what violent behaviour society is happy to accept, corner flags simply don’t forget.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romey 1878 Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 That's quality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 very similar to the onion news network: http://www.theonion.com/video/ still very good though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nesta2003 Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Funny shit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue 250 Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Well I just hope Cahill beats up a couple of corner flags at the weekend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kohen Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 Well I just hope Cahill beats up a couple of corner flags at the weekend! All 4 please! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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