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rubecula

The True Story of Tom's Scrotum

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This story is supposedly true, with just the names changed.

 

 

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express

praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the

podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom,

had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.

The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could

help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the

congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have

experienced. "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on,

"and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors

performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to

piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire

around it to hold it in place."

 

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably

as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

 

"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out

of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should

recover completely."

 

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and

tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

 

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.

 

"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."

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