Jump to content
IGNORED

Brexit...


Hafnia

Referendum  

50 members have voted

  1. 1. In or out?

    • Stay in
      26
    • Leave
      24

This poll is closed to new votes


Recommended Posts

Merry Christmas everybody

Quote

Little Red white and blue riding hood – a topical Christmas story

By JOHNREDWOOD | Published: DECEMBER 23, 2017

One day Little Red, white and blue riding hood decided to visit her grandmother. She was told by her Mum to gather together a fish they had recently caught, some vegetables they had grown and some beef left from their big roast meal and take it with her to her Grandmother’s cottage in the woods.

She told Little Red, white and blue riding hood she needed to be very careful not to encounter the big EU wolf who these days prowled freely in their local area. She was to rush to her Grandmother’s without delay.

Little Red, white and blue riding hood thought this fear of the wolf was all a bit exaggerated. So what if she met the wolf? Other people said he was quite a nice wolf, and was likely to be friendly if you met him. No-one had ever been eaten by him and some said he wanted to help people grow food and look after their neighbours. So she set out with plenty of delay, pausing on her way to pick some wildflowers to add to her basket of goodies for Granny. She was secretly hoping she met the wolf, so she could tell everyone it was fine.

Before long Mr EU wolf appeared. He seemed quite polite, though his accent was a bit gruff. He told her she need not be afraid. He also said he now controlled the local woods, and needed to check her basket before she went on to her Granny’s. Little Red white and blue riding hood thought that sounded possible, and decided anyway as he was a lot bigger than her she had better co-operate.

When the Wolf saw the fish he was very cross. This fish is not the sort we let you fish he said. You must throw it away, as we have to conserve our fish stocks.

“How does throwing away this dead fish help conserve the fish?” , asked Little red white and blue riding hood. “Well if you can’t see that” said Mr Wolf “I can’t help you. It’s obvious. More importantly it’s our policy, so you either throw it or I have to arrest and fine you.”

Little Red white and blue riding hood decided there was no point in arguing, so she threw away the fish. There were plenty of other goodies left in her basked, after all. When the Wolf saw the  wildflowers he wanted to know where they had come from. He thought maybe they came from a special site of scientific interest where the wildflowers needed protecting. .

The Wolf then spied the vegetables. Goodness, he said, you usually  import these vegetables from the continent. I did not know you were still growing them around here. Anyway, in order to trade them you have to pay a large contribution to the EU, so I will need proof of payment before I can let you take these to someone. As he looked round to see how she responded, he realised he was talking to himself and she had run off in the direction of her grandmother’s house.

Not to be outdone Mr EU wolf knew a short cut and bounded to the cottage before Little red white and blue riding hood arrived. He knocked and pretended to be the old lady’s granddaughter, to get access. Once inside he demanded a substantial payment for the EU and proceeded to rifle the money from the old lady’s purse and from the stash under her mattress.

A little laterLittle red white and blue riding hood arrived. She was horrified to see the wolf taking money from  her granny. Before she could escape the wolf told her he was not like the story book wolf. He was a nice EU wolf who did not go round eating people’s grannies. He did however govern the wood and both Little red white and blue riding hood and  her granny had to follow his rules.

He was busily inspecting the vacuum cleaner to see if it complied with EU regulations to limit the power. He also sized up the bananas before joking that it was of course a myth that the EU wanted them to be straight. They were just fine, bent as they were.

Granny took on the wolf. She told him they had recently decided not to be in the EU any more so she had no need to obey its rules. She wanted to know what had happened to all the things  she had been promised.  Surely, she said there could be no rule that applied to her granddaughter just trying to help her out? The wolf told her it was not so easy getting out of the EU, and in the meantime all the rules still applied. Granny told him what she thought of the rules, and told him to mind his own business.

Whilst the argument was going on Little red white and blue riding hood slipped out and rushed to the local woodman to help. He immediately came, slipped an instant sleeping pill into  the wolf, and got the money back the wolf had been seizing. He then took the knocked out wolf far away from the cottage and his own home, into a deep foreign wood where he could no longer demand money with legal menaces of anyone or anything in red white and blue land. They all lived happily ever after, including the wolf who found lots of other woods to wander in, and plenty of new rules to enforce there. They got on better once Red white and blue land was out than they ever had before.

(Some versions of this story have a different  ending. They say the Wolf had some powerful friends in red white and blue land who helped him carrying on taking money from  people for many more years after he had gone. They say he persuaded people to carry on obeying his rules and importing their food. The poor old woodman was prosecuted for assault and Little Red Riding Hood’s granny had to accept his rules after all). I like happy endings so I don’t believe this second version.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I prefer this one by Richard Elwes to the one from John Redwood MP :

Quote

Once, there was a boy called Union Jack, who lived with his family on their farm. They sold half their produce at the market in the nearest town, and one morning Jack was sent to pay the rent on their market stall. On his way, he met John Redwood. “Do not waste your money on that stupid, worthless stall!” said John Redwood “Who needs a stall to sell vegetables? You can do it anywhere! Instead, buy these sovereignty beans. Plant them, wait two weeks, and a magic beanstalk will grow. It’ll solve your problems, guaranteed!” “The beanstalk will fertilise your soil - your farm will become the most productive in the county! Your Grandmother is sick – beanstalk extract has the most amazing medicinal properties! You like curry? Beanstalk makes incredible curry – the very best! ” Jack thought it over. Maybe a market stall was a waste of money. He did want to help Grandmother. And he did like curry. John Redwood seemed a trustworthy man, so he bought the sovereignty beans and took them home. After a furious argument with his family, he planted them. And that, boys and girls, is where we have reached so far in this fairytale (although John Redwood was recently overheard advising agricultural investment funds to look ‘further afield as Jack’s Farm hits the brakes’).  There are two possible endings to this story, and neither involve a giant beanstalk miraculously solving the family’s problems. In the first, they leave the weird beans for two weeks, during which time they do nothing but poison the soil and make farming harder than before.  Having lost their prime location in the market, sales are hit badly, and Jack is sent to trudge the byways in search of customers. Jack’s family blame him for their misfortune. He hates his new job and blames them for not having believed hard enough in the magic of sovereignty. Most evenings, the farm sees bitter arguments, name-calling, and vicious recrimination. The family farm has become a poorer, nastier place. Several of Jack’s siblings decide to leave for nicer, more successful farms elsewhere. Jack works even harder, and hates it even more.  In the second version, the family assess the situation the morning after the beans have been planted. They unearth one and examine it. There is no beanshoot. It has leached toxins into the soil. They agree that nothing good is going to come of leaving them there any longer.  No-one really blames Jack– his aims were noble and true: he wanted to save money, to help Grandmother, and to enjoy some good curry. All the same, they agree that the best course of action is to dig up the beans, and try to save their space in the market before it’s too late.  There's no fairytale ending either way. But it’s your choice, boys and girls, which version of the story shall we have? Merry Christmas!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

46 minutes ago, johnh said:

Accusing May of becoming 'the voice of UKIP' is a joke, particularly as the only 'extreme' level of politics which currently exists is in the Labour party. It's a pity Adonis doesn't address that.

You mean the Labour Party actually being a left wing party? Im shocked!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, johnh said:

Accusing May of becoming 'the voice of UKIP' is a joke, particularly as the only 'extreme' level of politics which currently exists is in the Labour party. It's a pity Adonis doesn't address that.

He's not resigning from the Labour party so why would he?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Matt said:

Or spreading wealth so there's no need for food banks in one of the most developed countries in the world

Well I can remember the late 1990's, when I worked in London, virtually every shop doorway had someone sleeping rough and begging was rife. There was no such thing as food banks, but there should have been.  I think it was a Labour Government at the time. But I agree, two wrongs don't make a right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, johnh said:

Well I assume he must be comfortable with the fact that Labour is being taken over by ex-Communists. (I say 'ex' but that's a guess).

Who would they be John? Doing a quick google the only person who describes Corbyn himself as a communist at any time is Noel Gallagher, strange bedfellow for you I'd have thought.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, johnh said:

Well I can remember the late 1990's, when I worked in London, virtually every shop doorway had someone sleeping rough and begging was rife. There was no such thing as food banks, but there should have been.  I think it was a Labour Government at the time. But I agree, two wrongs don't make a right.

All the way through the 2000s too, and I’m sure before that. 

But yeah, regarding the homeless and food banks, both parties have failed in their duties

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 30/12/2017 at 20:12, johnh said:

Well I can remember the late 1990's, when I worked in London, virtually every shop doorway had someone sleeping rough and begging was rife. There was no such thing as food banks, but there should have been.  I think it was a Labour Government at the time. But I agree, two wrongs don't make a right.

Believe me John it's a lot worse now every shop doorway has two-three now, the cost of Tory austerity which failed miserably.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

55 minutes ago, Palfy said:

Believe me John it's a lot worse now every shop doorway has two-three now, the cost of Tory austerity which failed miserably.

Shop doorways now have bunk-beds, sadly as they're made of cardboard a light shower makes them collapse. They're as strong and stable as the government.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, Palfy said:

Believe me John it's a lot worse now every shop doorway has two-three now, the cost of Tory austerity which failed miserably.

Well I only ever go to local area shops these days and I don't see anyone in shop doorways. In the1990's most of our local doorways were busy.  I still maintain that that period was far worse than it is now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, johnh said:

Well I only ever go to local area shops these days and I don't see anyone in shop doorways. In the1990's most of our local doorways were busy.  I still maintain that that period was far worse than it is now.

That would be massively factually incorrect

https://www.homeless.org.uk/facts/homelessness-in-numbers/rough-sleeping/rough-sleeping-explore-data

edit: I know it doesn't go back to the 1990s, but I highly doubt that there as a mass decline from 1990-2010 before the sharp rise

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Liverpool shouldn't be used as an example. We're one of the few cities that try and look after our people. Not saying it's enough but a hell of a lot more than the rest of the country. 

Based on Manchester homelessness is on the rise majorly. You've got tents popped up all over the city. I can't remember ever seeing that ever as a kid.  

I started going to Preston last year and was shocked by how many homeless people there. The cafes have a 'tip' jar to feed the homeless, and there's a lot of thrift stores. The country has gone to shit, doesn't care about people outside of London. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Matt said:

That would be massively factually incorrect

https://www.homeless.org.uk/facts/homelessness-in-numbers/rough-sleeping/rough-sleeping-explore-data

edit: I know it doesn't go back to the 1990s, but I highly doubt that there as a mass decline from 1990-2010 before the sharp rise

I can only go by what I see.  In the 1990's I travelled extensively.  In London, as well as shop doorways. the underpasses were like dormitories. To be fair, I don't go into London now but the local areas I frequent I only see the odd person sleeping rough which is quite a change from the 1990's.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, johnh said:

I can only go by what I see.  In the 1990's I travelled extensively.  In London, as well as shop doorways. the underpasses were like dormitories. To be fair, I don't go into London now but the local areas I frequent I only see the odd person sleeping rough which is quite a change from the 1990's.

True, but that's why it's good to look for studies :) You can chose which area even in that site, but as I don't know the London areas, I can't check for you. 

Also, it could be the case that in some areas it's improved and others it's deteriorated. However, it's clear that overall it's becoming a bigger and bigger issue

edit: by region, the London area has doubled in 6 years from 415 to 964. North West region also increasing 100 to 313 in the same time period.

 Despite Liverpools efforts, seems there's a sharp rise the last few years :( 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/31/2017 at 04:12, johnh said:

Well I can remember the late 1990's, when I worked in London, virtually every shop doorway had someone sleeping rough and begging was rife. There was no such thing as food banks, but there should have been.  I think it was a Labour Government at the time. But I agree, two wrongs don't make a right.

My god you can be one eyed. Labour didn't get in until 97, those homeless/beggars were what economists call lagging indicators.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, Matt said:

True, but that's why it's good to look for studies

Conservatives have no interest in anything that's evidence based.

"It's not the governments fault people have to use food banks, its a moral failing on behalf of the individual *insert irrelevant personal anecdote to justify position*"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

59 minutes ago, Chach said:

Seems to be a lot of talk about a second referendum, is that looking more likely?

Well I'm free on Thursday 12th April seems a good date to me so let's do it, and then we can end all the bickering once and for all, I personally think leave will come out on top again due to the fact that since the last vote, the majority of people's standard of living as not really changed so they will probably feel safe to vote out, which may or may not be a false sense of security because we are not out yet and when we eventually are that's when the economy will be tested, so still a big gamble to vote out in my opinion.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

42 minutes ago, Palfy said:

Well I'm free on Thursday 12th April seems a good date to me so let's do it, and then we can end all the bickering once and for all, I personally think leave will come out on top again due to the fact that since the last vote, the majority of people's standard of living as not really changed so they will probably feel safe to vote out, which may or may not be a false sense of security because we are not out yet and when we eventually are that's when the economy will be tested, so still a big gamble to vote out in my opinion.

You really think the losers won't piss and moan constantly just like last time? It'll end nothing at all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...