Lowensda

If you've viewed my profile, as of now, you're a massive tit.

Where you at son'?

Alright Bum'ead? When you adding me on facey?

Did you know? Our new number 17, once played the part of an Alien in a Schwarzenegger film in 1987. Magic.

You now get 1 star.

Back at home now? Hope everything went well whilst you were over dude!

would like to apologise for the Hale saga, he comes across as a complete wind up and even if he's not, he is winding a few others up! hope you're ok Bill! j

Why do you build me up, buttercup baby just to let me down....

Heard your riding some moustaches atm?

Birthdays are good 4 you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

there's a fucking money outside with a shovel, i think he belongs to you mate

What's on my mind? You baby, you....

Amazing. I'm on

Finally broke, what do you mean, went or came on stronger?

Big meeting, that sucks, was it one you wanted to miss (wink wink) or one you couldnt really afford to miss?

Things are ok, just bored of work now, need something more challenging really...haven't been here long but i can already do it blindfolded. Need an adventure aha.

How you feeling today dude? Still rough?

btw, because i thought of the below whilst writing, i submitted it to Sickipidia lol Don't think i'm doing well!

I tried really hard for a second then to think of something funny, but it never came. just like Winehouse yesterday...

"Oh?" I replied. "I've got none on because I shat myself in the gents."

A girl came up to me in a bar - short skirt, tits like ripe fruit, hair in a pony tail.

"What would you say if I told you I was wearing no underwear?" she breathed.

"I'd say 'neither am I'."

She raised her eyebrows. "Really? I'm wearing none because it gives men like you..." she licked her lips, "easy access..."

I was called in to school to see the teacher today.

"We're a bit concerned about Lucy, Mr Carter as she seems disturbed about something. She spends a lot of time in the girls toilets and refuses to get changed for PE."

"That is worrying." I agreed, scratching my chin. "When she leaves for school she's Mark."

I like filling my Super Soaker with urine and firing it at tight-rope walkers. It pisses them right off!!

If I stand close enough to you, I can hear the ocean

Ive poked your comment virginity. Not gonna lie, it was a stubborn virtual Hymen but i got through, tenacity an' all

So here's a friendly insult

I heard you were so cool that you began teaching remedial classes at Cucumber college.