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Man Of The Cloth


GoldfishMemory
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Sorry about the caps but as usual its a stolen joke!

 

THE REVEREND JOHN FLUFF WAS THE PASTOR OF A SMALLTOWN IN IRELAND.

 

ONE DAY HE WAS WALKING DOWN THE HIGH STREET WHEN HE NOTICED A YOUNG LADY OF HIS CONGREGATION SITTING IN A PUB DRINKING BEER.

 

THE REVEREND WASN'T HAPPY.

 

HE WALKED THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR OF THE PUB AND SAT DOWN NEXT TO THE WOMAN.

 

"MISS FITZGERALD", HE SAID STERNLY. "THIS IS NO PLACE FOR A MEMBER OF

 

MY CONGREGATION. WHY DON'T YOU LET ME TAKE YOU HOME?"

 

"SURE", SHE SAID WITH A SLUR, OBVIOUSLY VERY DRUNK.

 

WHEN MISS FITZGERALD STOOD UP FROM THE BAR, SHE BEGAN TO WEAVE BACK AND FORTH.

 

THE REVEREND REALIZED THAT SHE'D HAD FAR TOO MUCH TO DRINK AND GRABBED HER ARMS TO STEADY HER. WHEN HE DID, THEY BOTH LOST THEIR BALANCE AND TUMBLED TO THE FLOOR.

 

AFTER ROLLING AROUND FOR A FEW MOMENTS, THE REVEREND WOUND UP ON TOP OF MISS FITZGERALD, HER SKIRT HIKED UP TO HER WAIST. THE PUB LANDLORD LOOKED OVER AND SAID,

 

"OI MATE, WE WON'T HAVE ANY OF THAT CARRYING ON IN THIS PUB."

 

THE REVEREND LOOKED UP AT THE LANDLORD

 

AND SAID, "BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, I'M PASTOR FLUFF."

 

THE LANDLORD NODDED AND SAID,

 

"OH WELL, IF YOU'RE THAT FAR IN, YOU MIGHT AS WELL FINISH

 

 

nd another!

 

The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church.

 

But one Saturday night the cock went missing! The priest knew that cock fights happened in the village so he started to question his parishioners in church the next morning.

 

During Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"

All the men stood up.

"No, no," he said, "That wasn't what I meant.

 

Has anybody seen a cock?"

All the women stood up.

 

"No, no," he said, "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"

 

Half the women stood up.

"No, no," he said, "That wasn't what I meant.

 

Has anybody seen my cock?

All the nuns, three altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.

."

Edited by toffeelicker
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