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A man who smelled like a distillery flopped

on a barstool next to a priest. The man's tie

was stained, his face was plastered with red

lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was

sticking out of his torn coat pocket.


He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the dishevelled guy

turned to the priest and asked,

"Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"


"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being

with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol,

and a contempt for decent society".


"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered,

returning to his paper.


The priest, thinking he’d been too hard,

nudged the man and said, "I'm very sorry,

I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long

have you had arthritis?".


"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading in the paper

here that the Pope does".

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