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Last week the Royal Festival Hall saw the first performance of a new symphony by one of the world's leading modern composers, Arthur 'Two Sheds' Jackson. Mr Jackson.

Jackson Good evening.

Third Interviewer May I just sidetrack for one moment. Mr. Jackson, this, what shall I call it, nickname of yours.

Jackson Ah yes.

Third Interviewer 'Two sheds'. How did you come by it?

Jackson Well, I don't use it myself, it's just a few of my friends call me 'Two Sheds'.

Third Interviewer I see, and do you in fact have two sheds?

Jackson No. No, I've only one shed. I've had one for some time, but a few years ago I said I was thinking of getting another one, and since then some people have called me 'Two Sheds'.

Third Interviewer In spite of the fact that you only have one.

Jackson Yes.

Third Interviewer I see, and are you thinking of purchasing a second shed?

Jackson No!

Third Interviewer To bring you in line with your epithet?

Jackson No.

Third Interviewer I see, I see. Well let's return to your symphony. Ah, now then, did you write this symphony...in the shed?

Jackson No!

Third Interviewer Have you written any of your recent works in this shed of yours?

Jackson No it's just a perfectly ordinary garden shed.

A picture of a shed appears on the screen behind them.

Third Interviewer I see. And you're thinking of buying this second shed to write in.

Jackson No, no. Look. This shed business, it doesn't really matter at all, the sheds aren't important. It's just a few friends call me Two Sheds and that's all there is to it. I wish you'd ask me about my music. I'm a composer. People always ask me about the sheds, they've got it out of proportion, I'm fed up with the shed, I wish I'd never got it in the first place.

Third Interviewer I expect you are probably thinking of selling one.

Jackson I will sell one.

Third Interviewer Then you'll be Arthur 'No Sheds' Jackson?

Jackson Look, forget about the sheds. They don't matter.

Third Interviewer Mr. Jackson, I think, with respect, we ought to talk about your symphony.

Jackson What?

Third Interviewer Apparently your symphony was written for organ and tympani.

Jackson (catches sight of the picture of the shed behind him) What's that?

Third Interviewer What's what?

Jackson It's a shed. Get it off.

He points to BP screen shed. The picture of the shed disappears and is replaced by a picture of Jackson. Jackson looks at it carefully.

Jackson Right.

Third Interviewer Now then Mr. Jackson...your symphony.


Cut back to studio: the picture of him is replaced by a picture of two sheds, one with a question mark over it.


Third Interviewer I understand that you used to be interested in train-spotting.

Jackson What?

Third Interviewer I understand that, about thirty years ago, you were extremely interested in train-spotting.

Jackson What's that got to do with my bloody music?

Enter Second Interviewer from Edward Ross sketch (John)

Second Interviewer Are you having any trouble from him?

Third Interviewer Yes, a little.

Second Interviewer Exactly. Well we interviewers are more than a match for the likes of you, 'Two Sheds'.

Third Interviewer Yes, make yourself scarce, 'Two Sheds'. This studio isn't big enough for the three of us!

They push him away and propel him out.

Jackson What are you doing? (he is pushed out of vision with a crash)

Second Interviewer Get your own Arts programme, you fairy!

Third Interviewer (to camera) Arthur 'Two Sheds' Jackson.

Cut to linkman. He is about to speak when:

Third Interviewer (off-screen) Never mind, Timmy.

Second Interviewer (off-screen) Oh, Michael, you are such a comfort.

Linkman Arthur 'Two Sheds'...

Cut to a man in Viking helmet at desk.

Viking ...Jackson.

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Pure Monty Python boys, a bit before you time.


I am actually looking into a second shed, T stood her ground and read me my horoscope and I like my testicles where they are, so "one shed" it is.







It was before my time but I love monty python :D Got all the films in ours, good stuff

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:lol: ..exactly. However, can I just add my all time fave MP sketch which is very short and scripted like this..


Cut to a quayside. John and Michael, dressed in tropical gear and solar topees. John stands still while Michael dances up and down before him to the jolly music of Edward German. Michael holds up two tiny fish and from time to time in the course of the dance he slaps John lightly across the cheeks with them. The music ends; Michael stops dancing. John produces a great fish and swipes Michael with it. Michael falls off the quay into the water.


I am collapsed on the floor at the thought of it...sorry :( .


:D ..found it!!! :D


>>>>Monty Python Fish Slapping Dance<<<<

Edited by mikeo
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