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1) "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids

with fake IDs."


2) "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."



3) "Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is

important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the



5) "If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now

quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."


7) "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city,

keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode! I

think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.'"


8) "I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will

get you through life. Number one, 'cover for me.' Number two, 'oh, good

idea, boss.' Number three, 'it was like that when I got here.'"

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