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GoldfishMemory
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Made me chucle anyway :P

 

..in the dressing room, prior to next home game. Arry speaks:

 

"Right lads, settle down and listen.....Nikko, sit down.....today we've got Wigan....yer what Doau?....No, I don't have a wig on, W - I - G - A - N , its a town somewhere up north....Pedro, show Nikko how to sit down, no elbows mind....the've got a scouse lad as manager who.....yer what Doua?.....no, its definitely not a fookin wig!......Matty, show Nikko and Pedro how to sit down.....anyway, they've got this manager who's teams always play at.....yer what Doua?.....no.....its not a fookin weave either, just shut up and show Nikko, Pedro, and Matty, how to sit down will yer?....as I was saying....er, what was I saying Tony?...waddya mean you don't know,....you were concentrating really hard....yeah...er, Ok.......anyway, Wigan will be at us all match, and........David! What are yer doin?.......just putting the finishing touches to your "dressing room scene", eh? Well sit down and listen or I'll stick that brush up yer arris......where are you going Nikko?.....getting a fookin ice cream??!!....upyerarris means eat ice cream in Croat? It don't mean that 'ere son, Matty, show Nikko what up yer arris means 'ere..........No!.. Nikko!!....don't 'it 'im......Tony, patch 'im up will yer.......Matty, don't do that again, theres a luv..............anyway, to continue, I know they're away from from 'ome but they'll still come at us, so we 'ave to........Nikko!!!......what the fook you doin now!!??....thersaluv means kiss your neighbour in Croat!??...fer fooks sake Matty, why didn't you stop 'im??......Tony, show this shower of shoite how to sit down, will yer........where yer going?.....to get your book on how to sit down!!!???......fook me, bollux to this......just get out there and run about a lot, then give it to Stef, and .........Nikko!!!...gerroff me! Why the fook you doing that?!......givitostef means touch my wig in Croat???!!!.......Doua, shut up!!.....fer crying out loud, if you can't all sit down, get out there and play football, but don't forget to give it to Stef.....down Nikko!!!.......wrong dressing room, Toddy!!.....yeah, you too!.....(players exit dressing room)........that went Ok didn't it Joe?......fook me, you still not talking to me?......wadya mean, Tony's pinched all yer books. Fairs fair, I didn't let 'im 'ave yer cones though, did I?......(Sacha enters dressing room).......they're fully prepared as always, Mr Chairman, you know me.......no its not a fookin wig!!

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