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The Day The Penis Asked For A Raise


Foxon
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The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

 

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for

the following reasons:

 

I do physical labor.

 

I work at great depths.

 

I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

 

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

 

I work in a damp environment.

 

I work in a dark workplace that has poor

ventilation.

 

I work in high temperatures.

 

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

 

Sincerely,

P. Niss

 

 

The Response:

 

Dear Penis:

 

After assessing your request,

and considering the

arguments you have

raised, the administration rejects

your request for

the following reasons:

 

You do not work 8 hours straight.

 

You fall asleep after brief work periods.

 

You do not always follow the orders of the

management team.

 

You do not stay in your designated area and are

often seen visiting other

locations.

 

You do not take initiative - you need to be

pressured and stimulated in

order to start working.

 

You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of

your shift.

 

You don't always observe necessary safety

regulations, such as wearing the

correct protective clothing.

 

You will retire well before you are 65.

 

You are unable to work double shifts.

 

You

sometimes leave your designated work area before

you have completed

assigned task.

 

And if that were not all, you have been seen

constantly entering and

exiting the workplace carrying two

suspicious-looking bags.

 

Sincerely,

V. Gina

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