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Guest Reg Reagan
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Guest Reg Reagan

rite, this is offending people reg so i will have to change this post. Meself personally i find some jokes of this nature funny, same as i find jokes about irish people funny (its still rasicm isnt it!) but i can understand why jokes can be taken offense to, i will put two poor jokes on instead of them :D ...

 

Police Station toilet stolen....Police have nothing to go on.

 

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

Edited by ianthetoffee
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No problem with jokes....as in. One female suicide bomber says to another...

 

"Does my bomb look big in this"

 

..but the second post in particular contained no jokes at all..just anti Palestinian and Arab rant. Thanks for taking it off.

Edited by mikeo
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Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: "What's that?"

 

Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."

 

Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"

 

Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."

 

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

 

"Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel."

 

The pharmacist fainted.

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The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit for their supper, returning with it ready to skin and cook.

 

Night falls.

 

First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the eyes.

 

"Excellent!" remarks the trainer.

 

Next up - the Paras. They finish their cans of lager, smear themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.

 

"A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done", says the trainer.

 

Lastly, in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie"Sierra Lima Whisky Tango Fanta One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc. After what seems an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.

 

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the incredulous trainer,"Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you five hours ago!".

 

So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, night drags on and turns to day. The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are awakened by the police, holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut.

 

"Are you taking the p1ss!!??" asks the now seriously irate trainer.

 

The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks:

 

"Alright, Alright, I'm a f*****g rabbit!"

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Guest Reg Reagan

how are these arab joke racist to arab ppl when it was made by a jewish comedian mikeo?

 

the lads on forums.leagueunlimited.com reckon its funny and the mods have let it go dont find anything about it racist

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Was sent this one as a text

 

Cabbie says to a nun in his cab

My fantasy is to be sucked off by a nun

She says OK but you must be Catholic and Single

Cabbie says he is so nun sucks him.

He starts to cry

Forgive me sister - I have sinned - I'm married and I'm Jewish

Thats Ok says the nun - I'm Kevin and on way to Fancy Dress :P

 

BB

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