aaron

Did you hear about the prostitute who was into bondage?

She was strapped for cash.

Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift.

A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.

The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down.

Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm " Scouse eggs". The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look.He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He rushes back to his cruiser and gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible.

The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers.

"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the fuckers have managed to nick a motorbike already.

Q: What did the Jewish paedophile say to the little boy after luring him into his car?

A: Hey, go easy on those fucking sweets.

Q: What do you call a Welsh farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A: A pimp.

The Ferrari F1 Team recently fired the whole Pit-Crew to employ some young unemployed youths from Liverpool. The decision to hire them was brought on by a documentary on how unemployed youths in the Liverpool area, can remove a set of car wheels in less than 4 sec without proper equipment. This was thought to be a good move as most races are won & lost in the pits these days & Ferrari would have an advantage. However Ferrari soon encountered a major problem: Not only were the lads changing the tyres in under 4 seconds but within 10 secs they had resprayed, re-numbered and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team

Ten Liverpudlians arrive at the Pearly gates to be met by St Peter. “What are you doing here?”,he asks, “We’ve got no record for you. Just wait here while I check with the boss”.

So off he goes to check with God who tells himto go back and ask them how they died.

Two minutes later he reports back to God, “They’ve gone.”

“Gone?, all the Scousers?”, queries God.

“No, the gates”, replies Peter.

Skittin scousers like but are funny.

mines - You Got It (The Right Stuff) - New Kids On The Block

whatever the hell that is?

agreed niemi or cudicni!

any1 who plays for the shite is shite, wouldnt want any1 frm across the park. H8 them all. His hair makes him look like a fuckin clown at times i mean who wants hair like that really? he needs to get his act together. CUM ON CROUCH! KEEP UP YA SCORIN RECORD 4 THE SHITE! wat is it 0 in 17 games? great siginin by rafa... NOT!

i know sum1 who works 4 the echo and he said weve got him on a player/coach contract!

50 cent at Goodison... imagin dat... go, go, go, Everton, its ya bday, were guna score coz its ya bday, just a thought lol

thank god the ref didnt see macfaddens handball! decent enough 4 me 1-0. Cahill also missed 2 chances but BT what is he playin at?

what position does he play?

didnt work 4 me neither

38% remember i am only 16! lol

PLZ PLZ PLZ tell me gd playerz on FM 06! Help an Evertonian in need!

in the champ league qualifiers I got Celtic, beat them away 4-1 then got beat 4-2 at home! In the group stage I finished 4th due to the fact I had Inter, Real Betis and Lille in my group. Im not doin dat bad in the league, im 4th with 16 games gone, Bent is my top goal scorer with 13 goals so far, not bad for a shite player lol!

Keane AND Johnson if we can afford it, beattie would then have 2 step up a gear to get a starting place so there would be healthy compition. Sign Nugent in january but loan him straight back 2 preston for more experiance, thats what i think moyes should do, what do u all think.

Ive seen him a few times on the championship and hes not a bad player... for lower leagues that is. Still if its a bargin buy im all for it, but 2 problems with him: 1. Fat 2. no real pace. But we know fat isnt always a problem (scummy rooney who needs 2 die) <- he can still play amazing footy.

why are the RS so full of shite? Big wow you won a trophy and what, all i will say about that is FLUKE! a dirty, shitty FLUCK, try it again this season and you will fail. Your a 1 man team (a.k.a Gerrard) without that twit what are yas... Nothing, not even good enough for sunday league, so fuck off back to ya empty stadium and moan there ya horrible twit!

He is now a free contract, maybe sign him as a player/coach to help the team up the table. I think it would give the lads an extra boost in morale, but would Keane be up for a major pay-cut? its reported he is earning 100 thousand a week! Im all for the signing (as long as he takes a big pay-cut!) , what do you think?