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Yet Another Blonde Joke

Jimmy the blue

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'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is

> suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been

> forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease

> the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'


> 'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does

> the Entrance Exam consist of?

> ?

> 'Just three questions' said St Peter.


> 'Which are?' asked the blonde.


> 'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days

> of the week start with the letter 'T' '?


> The second is 'How many seconds are there in a

> year?'


> The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in

> Waltzing Matilda?'


> ?


> Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those

> questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to

> have those answers for me.'


> So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some

> considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).


> The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and

> asked if she had considered the questions, to which she

> replied, 'I have.'


> 'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of

> the week start with the letter T?'


> The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'


> St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided

> that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.


> 'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of

> the three questions?'


> St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'


> The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'


> 'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you

> arrive at that figure?'


> 'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the

> second of January, the second of February, right through to

> the second of December, giving a total of twelve

> seconds.'


> St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some

> time to consider your answer before I can give you a

> decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.


> A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde.

> 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get

> the third and final question absolutely correct to be

> allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the

> name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'


> The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found

> this the easiest to answer.'


> 'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the

> answer?'


> 'It's Andy.'


> 'Andy??'


> 'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.


> This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and

> that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand

> the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked

> 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT

> answer?'


> 'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy

> watched, Andy waited til his Billy boiled.'


> And the blonde entered Heaven...

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