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Suicidal Man


GoldfishMemory
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It is Christmas Eve and this chap is on a rooftop about to jump off.

 

His wife is leaving him for another man, he has lost his job and he

owes

thousands of pounds to the bank.

 

Just as he finishes his prayers and closes his eyes, ready to jump,

Father Christmas taps him on the shoulder

 

"Are you OK?" asks Father Christmas. The man explains why he is so

miserable and gets ready to jump.

 

"Stop!" shouts Father Christmas. "It is Christmas; I will grant you

three wishes to solve your problems on the understanding that you

will

grant me a small favour in return!"

 

"Would you?" the man replies. "That would be wonderful!!...Thank

you,

 

Father Christmas promises him that:

 

1. You shall go home in 1 hour and your wife will be dressed in her

sexiest underwear, begging for forgiveness and longing for your

return,

she will have no recollection of her new boyfriend.

 

2. You shall go into work tomorrow, sit at your desk and continue

with

your work. Your salary will have increased by 50%. Also, nobody will

have any recollection of your sacking.

 

3. You shall go to your bank and you will be ten thousand pounds in

credit, you will have no outstanding bills.

 

"Oh thank you, thank you!" says the man. "What is it that I can do

for you?"

 

Father Christmas asks the man to drop his pants and bend over.

 

After a rogering, which made his eyes water ,

Father Christmas asks the man how old he is.

 

"36" replies the man.

 

"Ho, Ho, Ho, You're a bit old to believe in Father Christmas aren't

you!?" Chuckled the fat gay bastard in fancy dress.

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