Cloud

Got my Shirt 2day! Looks nice, I got Arteta 6 on the back, cant wait for the new season to start!

Just to make Things clear guys I have had no Experiance in this! and dont intend to

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my a**-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea. I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my a** of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My a** was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. Little did I know. I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic s***- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky s***/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my a** off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering s***/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my a** cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own s*** blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks." Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my a** at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for a**-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil. As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your a** having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony. Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR a**-HAIR!

Sig and Avatar request is like the Sig that i have, i can do Graphics? Im sure others can and peeps can request a sig, and peeps can make it for them? just an Idea

AJ 8 Beats 9

Maybe we can have a Sig & Avatar Request Place?

Getting mine 2moz! Cant Wait, it looks nice! Arteta 6 on my back!

No way! Cahill is way better than them both! Scholes is way past it now!

I think the new site is allright! looks better i supose!

Im gettting it on Thursday! I had Arteta on my last one, And im gonna get him this time! But i might get Johnson....or beattie....lol

WTF! VDM comes out and says the he wants to stay! Then we get reports that he wants out? Now he wants in? WTF is going on!

We need Arteta in the Middle! I would rather hve him and Cahill in the Center TBA! we will see better things from Arteta there!

========================= Report On Radio City 96.7 i heard just then as i got up! =========================== Lesscot is to sign for us today About fooking time! Hope it is true like, Radio City normally have good sources!

LMFAO! Weir is going, if he wanted to stay he would have signed a long time ago when Stubbies did!

Agreed!

nah i say im the best at sigs and that i have the best Sig!

Yeh i agree, There is no point in saying that!

yeh, in the News they were saying that Moyes was going to get rid of him! And then he came out begging Moyes not to sell him so he can prove himself, and now a few weeks later he wants out? I agree i say it is his agent? Ac Milan & Juventus are after him? I dont think soo VDM! If Inter didn't want him i doubt they will!

Seeing as VDM prefers a move back to Italy ... And now Valente is supposedly putting himself in the world cup shop window ? And all this after Everton smash there transfer record on Andy Johnson ? How can they state a lack of ambition in our club ? This would only happen to us wouldn't it, we start show ambation and players who think they are bigger tha nthe club sya we have no ambation when we go break the transfer fee for a player!

Valente is doing it at the right moment! He is in the Portagul Side and hopes he will play good at lefy back so team will notice him and come in for him! Thats why he is saying this? and if a team doesn't come in for him! lol he is fucked! and if a team with lower amabition come in for him, im sure hw will want to stay! Sooo i say fuck him off! which is a shame as i rate him he has a great cross on him and knows what he is doin!

VDM wasn't picked for the holland squad! na dhe said he weas pissed of but did say that it was because he hadn't play enough games!

He wont take a Pay-as-you-play Contract! No Way! I personaly myself can see him going! Its funny init...All the players slag there clubs off and sya they want to leave when they are at Internation duty!

Valente is a great Left Back aswell! great crossing, it would be sad to see him go!

agreed!

If thats what he is saying"! and he is giving up, then let him go! Dissapointed in VDM TBH! i thought he was better than this and wanted to fight for his football! Maybe i was wrong! <_<