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the very best of luck to you and your son, seriously! It's nice to see a father exploring every avenue to help out.

Nice one.

he was on the cover of Evertonian magazine in December.

The wife and I were in Tesco, doing the weekly shop, when she caught a glimpse of the front cover and immediately said "Why have they got a picture of George Michael from the 1980's on the front cover...". Have to admit, he did kinda look like Club Tropicana...lmao.

He suits the beard though, I just look an unwashed vagrant when I let mine grow...!

I positive and realistic thinking player...refreshing really...

Yup, I want him at our club yesterday!

come on Stevo...nobody has got my one yet...surely its not that hard!

now that sir, is indisputable! Fantastic album is Appetite for Destruction, for the first note on the album to the last. One of my all time favourites...which is why i got it straight away...incidentally, I don't think I could have gotten further away from Guns n Roses with my crappy tune if I wanted too...in fact, so much so, it doesn't even classify as a tune, its just noise!

lmao!

Good question...probably because we don't want to pay for them, or pay them!

Guns and Roses - Night Train.

Easy! lol

Okay, my one... a little more difficult...

They were making noise, manhandling toys

That's the girls on the block with the nasty curls

Wearing padded bras sucking beers through straws

Dropping down their drawers, where did you get yours?

lmao, only Craccer could ask whether a fictional person is fit...lol!

lmao...got that on an email today...thought I would share!

Okay, before we start, this is only meant in a light hearted way! Please do not read anything in to this, and it is not a specific opinion of myself, or for that matter, anybody else! lmao!

Lets just get on with it now...

Exact science and language of the Personal Adverts Column.

40-ish - 49

Adventurous - Slept with everyone

Athletic - No tits

Average looking - Ugly

Beautiful - Pathological liar

Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure - On medication

Feminist - Fat

Free spirit - Junkie

Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person

Fun - Annoying

New Age - Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded - Desperate

Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate - Sloppy drunk

Professional - Bitch

Voluptuous - Very Fat

Large frame - Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7.Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged and somewhat masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

Enjoy!

can not argue with any one post here.

RIP Dixie, you helped to put our club firmly on the map! Genius!

still nothing...argh!

The legend that was Dixie Dean was born 100 years ago today. I was impressed, as I was waking up a short while ago, as I flicked through the usual Everton related websites, that I saw Everton had marked the day with a redesigned homepage, honouring the genius.

http://www.evertonfc.com/home/

If only we could pull another Dixie out of the bag and let him loose. Was not there to see Dixie, but having read articles and features on the man, he was a very imposing and influencial player.

Just thought it would be nice to have a thread to honour him here too.

for me, that was definitely a foul from Kirkland on AJ. He just went flying in, behind Unsworth, which looked a little to awkward for me. It is always the same though isn't it, the referee's seem to miss the important things! Thankfully, Unsworths foul was indisputable.

marvelous wasn't it!

lmao!

Roy Keane v Robbie Savage...that would be a proper bitch fight! Nails, biting and hair pulling!

it wouldn't surprise me at all...a song written for manure and adopted by sh1te!

yea right! City get a ground for free and they are up there then?

Both clubs could be a lot better, but I honest think that Everton have the upper hand on City. Seriously, come on. I will accept that Barton is staying, but to say imply with your * that Everton aren't a large club that City, well, it just aint right.

yup yup, nice to see a 'tourist' winning something in Vegas! I should know, 4 visits later and nothing to show for it other than sunburn!

I was'nt so pleased when Henry scored that wonderful header...no I wasn't, really! honest! lmao!

Nice to see that sh**house Shrek disappointed again!

HM Armed Services...it's so easy to forget what these guys, and as it is now, galls, are doing every single day around the world.

I am not part of the armed services, none of my friends, nor family are either, however, justing watching the news on BBC1, I was amazed by the latest story. There are no bounds to the fear of these lads and lasses. They are simply amazing.

Click here for the BBC website link. And, click here for the BBC News Video clip...

For whatever the reasons we are at war, whether you agree or not with it in principle, you must remember that these hero's and heroin's are there everyday, giving it there best.

Okay, just my opinion!

Mac has just given me an idea...what about bouts between ex and current players...such as Vinnie Jones v Duncan Ferguson..

Now I would pay money to watch!

thankfully! lets just hope that the injury is not serious - and that he will be part of the future games sooner rather than later.

also, further to my last...the Evertonian support there was fantastic today...yea, I know it is only down the road, but Wigan's support was shocking. They actually cheered for a free kick in their own half! Maybe it has something to do with the game of Rugby or something! I was well impressed with our following, there must have been between 5-6,000 in the away supporters end, and maybe a couple of hundred more in the home stands. And, the singing before, during, at halftime and afterward was brilliant...so much so, I have lost my voice again! lmao! The weekend could only have been made better if Chelsea had of won.

possibility of a compensation claim then? if we could argue that the pitch was not fit to be played on? only floating the idea?