MikeO Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 Quite funny....from a BBC blog... It's the Merseyside derby and a rabbit runs across the pitch (no I don't mean Phil Neville). 1. Do you (x) see a cute furry bunny and order a drop-ball or (y) see a vicious two-fingered gesture and send off Tim Cahill? 2. In a closely-fought match a long-range shot hits the bar and bounces very close to the line before being cleared. The attacking players begin to celebrate. Your assistant is unsure as to whether the ball crossed the line. Do you (x) explain to the players that it's impossible to award the goal without being certain or, (y) do you find a dandelion head and blow it several times saying 'he scored it, he scored it not, he scored it, he scored it not'? 3. At Tottenham Hotspur, Aaron Lennon races towards the byline and prepares to clip over the sort of delivery that wouldn't pass muster at the Royal Mail. His momentum takes him over the hoarding and he falls into the waiting arms of Spurs fans. Do you (x) allow the Spurs physio on to check the player at the next available stoppage in play, or do you (y) send the hoarding off for ungentlemanly conduct and then book Lennon for diving and then give him another yellow for jumping into the crowd? 4. John Terry appears on the pitch with a pair of giant foam hands on the end of each arm. He proceeds to block shot after shot with these enormous mitts. Do you (x) award a series of penalties or (y) realise that a man bestowed with the title of England captain could never do such a thing and sensibly ignore it? 5. At the JJB, a defender and an attacker are rushing towards an excellent through-ball from Titus Bramble (this is hypothetical, right?). Their shoulders meet and both players go down in a heap. Do you (x) wave for play to go on as it was a fair shoulder-charge or (y) look at the relative directional velocity of each of the moving bodies and apply Newton's Second Law of Motion to the situation and work out that the distance travelled by one player clearly implied the application of more force to that object than the other and, to conclude, it's a stonewall pen... If your answer to all these questions was (y) then you too can apply to the referee's association today. If your answer was (x) then you are bleeding perfect and have probably never had to deal with a bunch of play-acting Premiership princesses before. And if your answer to all the above was (z) 'I was looking the other way and I haven't seen a replay' then your name is Arsene Wenger and Hull's boys gave you one hell of a beating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamiemaher85 Posted September 30, 2008 Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 I'd read that as well. I like Robbo's Blogs. I think there are getting more and more decent blog writers on BBC website now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeO Posted September 30, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2008 I'd read that as well. I like Robbo's Blogs. I think there are getting more and more decent blog writers on BBC website now. Have you seen Gavin Strachan's? Only done a couple so far but they've been quite interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aaron Posted October 1, 2008 Report Share Posted October 1, 2008 micha richards was awful, talked about his xbox most of the time and that was a fine post mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.