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One For The Females


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We always hear “The Rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male perspective!


Please note; All the rules are numbered “1” so you don’t get too confused




1) Learn to work the toilet seat! You need it down, we need it up, you don’t hear us complaining when you leave it down!


1) Saturday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides, you can’t change it so let it be!


1) Shopping is NOT a sport!


1) Crying is blackmail


1) Ask for what you want Subtle/strong or obvious hints (in your mind) do not work…. Just ask!.


1) Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to most questions!


1) Come to us with a problem if you want it solved, that’s want we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for!


1) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor


1) Anything we said more than 48 hours ago is inadmissible in an argument


1) If you don’t dress like playboy girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys!


1) If you think you are fat then you probably are, don’t expect us to lie!


1) If something we say can be interpreted in 2 ways, we meant the one that didn’t make you sad/upset/angry!


1) You can ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done but not both!


If you know best then do it yourself.


1) Whenever possible please say whatever you have to say during the commercial breaks.


1) Christopher Columbus did not need directions and nor do we!


1) All men see in 16 colours only, a bit like windows default settings. Peach for example is a fruit not a colour, we have no idea what “taupe” is.


1) If it itches, we scratch it!


1) If we ask “what’s wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing is wrong even though we know you are lying, it’s just not worth the hassle!


1) If you ask a question that you don’t really want an answer to, then expect an answer that you don’t want to hear!


1) When we go out together anything you wear is fine……..honestly!


1) Don’t ask what we are thinking unless you what to talk about beer/sport/sex!


1) You have more than enough clothes to wear!


1) You have far too many pairs of shoes!


1) I am in shape……….round is a shape!


Thanks for reading this. Yes I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but men don’t mind that, it’s a bit like camping really. :D

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