Matt

ok, i understand the pessimism but surely going into Decemeber with a near full strength squad is cause to boost hope (assuming Mick's blog is correct!). Yeah, we have tough games coming up, easy games have gone by where we have lost points and the other teams around us werent as strong last year, but come on! Hull this time last year were pushing 4th! Its too early in the season to write us off and you never know whats going to happen. if we continue to play like we have been doing then yeah, midtable is likely. But surely when we get Pienaar, Jags, Neville and Arteta back, we are going to have such a strong team that noone should really stop us! Also, if Liverpool keep playing the say they are (long may it continue and long may Rafa and the yanks stay in charge!) they wont finish top 4, which means theres an extra plcae up for grabs. Spurs are doing well, as are Sunderland and City, but i dont see them going the whole way.

right, im off to the doctors, back to this later!

taken from the bbc site:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/8333388.stm

Michael Ballack (Germany), Chelsea

Gianluigi Buffon (Italy), Juventus

Iker Casillas (Spain), Real Madrid

Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal), Real Madrid

Diego (Brazil), Juventus

Didier Drogba (Ivory Coast), Chelsea

Michael Essien (Ghana), Chelsea

Samuel Eto'o (Cameroon), Inter Milan

Steven Gerrard (England), Liverpool

Thierry Henry (France), Barcelona

Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Sweden), Barcelona

Andres Iniesta (Spain), Barcelona

Kaka (Brazil), Real Madrid

Frank Lampard (England), Chelsea

Luis Fabiano (Brazil), Sevilla

Lionel Messi (Argentina), Barcelona

Carles Puyol (Spain), Barcelona

Franck Ribery (France), Bayern Munich

Wayne Rooney (England), Manchester United

John Terry (England), Chelsea

Fernando Torres (Spain), Liverpool

David Villa (Spain), Valencia

Xavi (Spain), Barcelona

Barca have 6 players!!! 6!!! Dont understand how Ballack is in there to be honest, but anyway, what are your thoughts? anyone missing?

bit different...there hasn't been a 'top 5' just a 'top 4' we're no competition for the champions league places...that's why it's not the same

i disagree, we have acheived a CL place in the past, and theres no reason why we cant push again. i understand what you mean, the media seem oto have the Big Four then everyone else. im a little young to remember the 80s, so dont know much about the media then. but i see your point...

i found one of my favourite games of all time free online!!!! for all those who loved him, here is Rick Dangerous for your enjoyment:

http://rickdangerousflash.free.fr/

for me, a true replacement for Carsely is the most important, then someone with dribbling, silky skills.

Dont agree with needing a poacher-striker (though i wouldnt turn one down!). Saha is world class and once we get Stevie P and Arteta back creating opportunities for him, the Yak holding up the ball for him.... no worries there. We need someone to dominate the midfield, Neville but with better vision, more accurate passing and someone who can drive forward. which should be easy to find

http://www.sport.co.uk/news/Football/29286/Hammers_and_Toffees_leading_January_chase_for_Kongo-Kim.aspx

not sure what he is like in reality but in Championship Manager 99/00 (my last copy im afraid), you could buy him for 100k and he instantly became worth 12m and scored bucket loads!

but, "Wigan Athletic, Blackburn Rovers and Portsmouth have also been linked with a move for the player."

errr... thats a little worrying...

i think its going to defy all the hype and be a boring, hard fought 0-0. And you know what, i would take it.

for those lucky enough to be goin however, i hope we win 7-3 with Saha and Yak both getting 3, with Hibbo roundin it off nicely...

Have you never seen Catherine Tate ('Am I Boverred') or Vicky Pollard (Yeah but No...), that's how real people speak these days.

I know, it makes me sad. I have heard of these abomination love-child-mutant-offspring-from-The-Fast-Show-and-Little Britain, but refuse to give them any recognition...

i dont know why i bothered, sorry boverred, with uni! Everything i learnt in the linguisitics courses is now obsolete!

to put it simply...no

why not? surely finishing 5th puts you in the top 5?!

fair points by both of you, but even if we have tougher games in the second half of the season, hopefully we will have a stronger squad than we did last year which would balance it out?

West Ham and Hull should be 6 points and we could get a point against Utd, especially since the diving nancy has gone now. Its going to be a tough runup to Christmas, but when has that ever been easy for us? I just think with players coming back rather than getting injured (he says tapping every piece of wood in sight!) we're going into the festive period better off...

well, heres hoping anyway...

lets be honest with ourselves, we werent going to win the title, but 4th/5th was a real possibility, and i think it still is.

15 points this time last year (if my maths is correct - taken from below link), 3 more than we currently have. But out massive run of successful results didnt start until December, after we got beat 3-2 by Villa. December is 4 weeks away so hopefully we can have the same response like last year but sooner. On top of that, our players are starting to come back, unlike last year where they started to drop like flies.

after the Villa result, we got beat 3 times throughout the rest of the season (in the league), drew 7 and won 11. Not brilliant, but with no strikers and losing Arteta and later on Jags, we finished 5th on a skeleton squad which i think we all agree was a great acheivement.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everton_F.C._season_2008%E2%80%9309

sorry if this is badly worded, bit hectic at work today, but hopefully my point is clear enough; we're not that far off where we were this time last year and have key players coming back from injury rather than getting injured. Is that not something to be optimistic about?

Back again eh?

 

http://www.toffeetalk.com/index.php?showtopic=899&view=&hl=scam&fromsearch=1

 

 

.....and I've been loitering in Asda for the last three and a half years .

 

Time to dust off the clubcard I think .

HA! well, seems they were getting caught at Asda, decided to switch to Tesco, more money in it? hehehe

oldies but goldies!

this has just made my evening!

Kudos, Reg. Kudos....

well, if he lived up to the hype and calms down on the card-collecting in games, he could be a real gem. sounds like Felli's collection when he first joined!

will be good for the kid to get some league experience, so long as he doesnt get injured....

If you read my last post, Pienaar may not feature for a while yet (if the lad was being truthful).

sorry mate, im confused now. The link says:

"Joseph Yobo (head), Steven Pienaar (knee), Leighton Baines (calf) and Diniyar Bilyaletdinov (thigh) are all being given every chance ahead of Saturdays game...."

which previous post?

*********************

just found your post. Kipper or Newspaper, which is more reliable (and im not being sarcastic here either, i dont get to read either really)?

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Tesco customers. This one caught me by surprise. 

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.  Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works: 

Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as  you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windowlene, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. 

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds. 

You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you,while the other one steals your wallet. 

I had my wallet stolen September 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th & 29th. Also October 1st & 4th, Twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th & 30th, three times last Monday and very likely again this upcoming weekend. 

            So tell your friends to be careful. 

                P.S. Tesco have wallets on sale for 2.99 each.

http://www.liverpooldailypost.co.uk/everton-fc/everton-fc-news/2009/10/29/everton-fc-left-sweating-on-louis-saha-s-fitness-92534-25039922/

 

 

Please be fit Louis.

if he isnt then we at least need Pienaar back, god knows Yak and Jo arent going to create chances for themselves. It does say we expect a few returns, though i wont hold my breath!

god i hope its true....

Out of curiousity, how much debt do we have?

If you can read the whole story without tears of laughter running down your cheeks than there's no hope for you. I didn't make it without tears.

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third is even better.

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-Off about the time the rodeo comes to town. It makes up a major portion of the parking lot at the Astrodome. The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast.

Frank: Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili #1 Mikes' Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

Judge #1 A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge #2 Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

Judge #3 (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili #2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili

Judge #1 Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge #2 Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge #3 Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili #3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

Judge #1 Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge #2 A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge #3 Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routing by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.

Chili #4 Bubba's Black Magic Chili

Judge #1 Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge #2 Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge #3 I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300 lb. bitch is starting to look hot--just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili #5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover

Judge #1 Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge #2 Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge #3 My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

Judge #1 Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge #2 The best yet. Aggressive use of pepper, onions and garlic. Superb.

Judge #3 My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I shat myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

Chili #7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

Judge #1 A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge #2 Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge #3 You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like shit to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili #8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili

Judge #1 The perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge #2 This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili.

answers on a postcard (or a PM if its easier), i will let you know if your correct! Oh, and I need the nationality too!

Nationality: __Norwegian___ _________________ __________________ ___________________ __________________

Color: ______________ ___Blue___________ __________________ ___________________ __________________

Drink: ______________ __________________ ____Milk___________ ___________________ __________________

Pet: ______________ __________________ __________________ ___________________ __________________

Ciggies: ______________ __________________ __________________ ___________________ __________________

Just to give you a helping hand!

Facts:

There are 5 houses of 5 different colors (each house of one color).

Each resident is of a different nationality.

Each of the 5 residents drinks a different drink, smokes a different brand of cigarettes and each has a different kind of pet.

None of the residents has the same pet, smokes the same brand or drinks the same drink as the others.

Details:

1. The Englishman lives in the Red house.

2. The Swede has a dog.

3. The Dane drinks tea.

4. The Green house is immediately to the left of the White house.

5. The resident of the Green house drinks coffee.

6. The person who smokes Pall Mall has birds.

7. The resident of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.

8. The resident of the middle house drinks milk.

9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.

10. The person who smokes Blend lives next to the person who has cats.

11. The person who owns horses lives next to the person who smokes Dunhill.

12. The person who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.

13. The German smokes Prince.

14. The Norwegian lives next to the Blue house.

15. The person who smokes Blend has a neighbor who drinks water.

Question: WHICH RESIDENT HAS THE PET FISH?

1. Teaching Maths In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.

What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is 80% of the price.

What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is £80.

How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.

Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009

A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies s cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010

A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prim e mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus's are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.

You do the maths.

honestly depends on who we've got back. I waiting until i see the time announced.

i agree with above though, we need the 1 game that turns our season around and it needs to be sooner rather than laters so that we're on a roll by the time we play the Kopites in a few weeks time. I want to be facing them on the back of sucessive victories...