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Hotel Review


MikeO

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Just had an email from the company (tripadvisor.com) that I often use to book hotels listing the ten worst hotels in the UK and US. Some of it is very funny.

 

This is a representative view of the Nanford Guest House in Oxford...

 

If only I had read the review on this site first. The Nanford Guest House is simply the most foul, rancid, godforsaken, flea-ridden -- I have ever had the misfortune to stay in.

 

The proprietor was extremely curt and gave the impression that simply talking to me was inconveniencing him in ways never before or since experienced. The delightful stench of damp was only surpassed by the mouldering walls and filthy carpets. Our bathroom was a haven for mildew and spiders whilst the supposedly clean bed was liberally dusted with crumbs and pubic hair.

 

As another reviewer wrote, I have no idea why I didn't walk away immediately. I stayed for one night and slept fully clothed with a t-shirt wrapped around my head so as not to touch the pillow directly. A terrible nights sleep due to the strange scratching sounds which could well have been rats in the walls left me shaking like a leaf. I also skipped breakfast as I had seen the kitchen and decided not to risk gastroenteritis.

 

and...

 

If there is a worse hotel anywhere near Oxford, I'd be amazed. The entrance hall stank of urine, the staff were incredibly rude, the beds had ticks, the shower was a dribble, but best of all what came out of the taps genuinely looked and smelled like it had came from the toilet. I wish I'd read the reviews before staying there. I'm still itching from the hundreds of bites I received during my 4 hours of fitful sleep. The atmosphere around the breakfast table was morbid, each couple whispering among themselves about how they could not believe this was acutally happening to them. Please do not stay there. You'd be better off on the pavement.

 

and possibly the best..

 

The best thing for this place would be for it to be burnt to the ground. Upon arrive we were greeted with a drunk man hanging out of a broken window with a can of beer and half his teeth missing shouting at us. We we entered the building we were hit with a smell that made me nearly vomit. There were stray cats everywhere and this added to the rancid smell. The carpet hasn't seen a hoover since probably the 30's and the decor was hilarious. The best bit was, on returning to the hell hole after a very good, drunken night out in Oxford our cab driver laughed at us when we told him where we were staying. We were all bemused and when he could stifle his laughter, he informed us it was a BROTHEL!

Edited by MikeO
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