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The Day The Penis Asked For A Raise


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The Day the Penis asked for a Raise


I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:


* I do physical labour.


* I work at great depths.


* I plunge headfirst into everything I do.


* I do not get weekends or public holidays off.


* I work in a damp environment.


* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.


* I work in high temperatures.


* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.




P. Niss


The Response:

Dear P. Niss,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:


* You do not work 8 hours straight


* You fall asleep after brief work periods


* You do not always follow the orders of the management team


* You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations


* You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working


* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift


* You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing


* You will retire well before you are 65


* You are unable to work double shifts


* You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed your assigned task


* And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags






V. Gina

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