The Nightmare Before Christmas (Cardiff Edition)

[The Regulator]

First off, Merry Christmas Everyone! Hope you all had a good day, thought I'd give you a bit of Christmas cheer and fill you in on the last 24 hours of my life. i don't post all that much but I figured this was worth sharing since we've probably all had a bad Christmas experience.

 

I work nights at the moment at the Parc Hotel, 4 star place, very swank, lots of companies booking with us and usually quite a quiet and unassuming place. Over Christmas in hotels, rates often drop dramatically, well below standard prices (something I've learned not a lot of people are aware of) because most people stay with their families and noone really wants to be in a hotel over Christmas, except maybe Alan Partridge, but then it would still be a travel tavern.

 

The hotel has a total allowance of 159 guests, last night there were a mere 52 staying. Before I get to that, I should mention I went out for the first time in months on Friday night, the highlights of which included me rugby tackling a guy carrying chocolates for his wife, freestyling with a busker, getting thrown out of 3 different clubs, watching highlights from Spurs/Arsenal in 04/05 in the executive lounge at work while eating nutella with my mate, and generally getting drunk enough to make Oliver Reed grimace. Having only had 4 hours sleep I then missioned into town to do the obligatory Christmas Eve shop, realising I had been paid 400 pounds less than I should have, spending 2 hours working out my finances at the hotel with the receptionist, and finally getting home again for about half 6. Unable to sleep, I then got dressed and went to work for 10.30pm.

 

A family of 40 was booked in for Christmas lunch the next day, they were occupying 20 rooms in the hotel, and had spent all day in the Social (our bar) getting hammered. It was to be a joint celebration as the oldest member of the family, Mrs Williams, was turning 80 on Christmas day. Staying opposite her room were two of her grandchildren, both in there mid 20's, one of whom was a law student in his 3rd year at Cardiff University (it was his name the room was booked under). As part of my duties I have to walk round the hotel top to bottom, and check all the fire exits, and generally make sure everything is ok. On the second floor I passed four drunken revellers, who instantly quietened down upon seeing me (in my blue tie and smart shirt I can look quite official and on occasion, intimidating if need be), and disregarding them I continued my walk. When I got back to reception, not less than 30 seconds afterwards myself and Albeniz, my colleague on nights, heard loud rumbling on the floor above us. Down came a single drunken guest, Mr. Evans, who wanted to go outside for a cigarette. While he was outside, I got a call from a room on the 1st floor complaining of noise and people gathered in the hallway outside. As Mr. Evans went to return to his room, I asked if he was staying on the first floor and whether he had guests in his room. His answer, no. I followed him tot the hallway to see a man and a woman rush back into a room and slam the door shut. Two fire extinguishers were missing, and the hallway was covered in foam. After repeatedly knocking, going back and forth and warning them that if they didn't calm down we would have to ask them to leave, we called the police. The police arrived and I took them to the room, which was empty, and completely trashed. The TV smashed, the bathroom, well I'll let you fill in the blanks, and all the bed sheets were missing. as we left the room the woman who complained said she saw them run into the room opposite. A little old lady answered and said there was no one else in the room, only for me to see a figure dart across in the background. The police entered and found the four grandchildren all half naked and paralytic. Over the next half hour, one of the mothers came from her room to lambaste her son while the police put him in cuffs. Mr. Evans it seems was not just a law student, but an utter knob as well. Convinced he knew the law better than 3 police officers, all in their mid thirties, he REFUSED A FIXED PENALTY. Instead, he was carted off into a riot van and has probably spent most of Christmas day in a cell by himself. Over the next two hours, I gave a statement to the police, consoled the mothers as they cried in the lobby, and argued with the two french men dressed like members of Duran Duran who insisted on juggling tangerines in the lobby while all this was happening.

 

Not only will he now be prosecuted for criminal damage, theft and resisting arrest, but Grandma may also end up in the stand for obstruction of justice. Of course before he was dragged from the hotel he couldn't help but blame this all on me, which he could also be charged for, even though we warned him almost 3 dozen times that none of this had to happen if they all just shut up and went to sleep.

 

I may now have to go to court to give evidence if it goes to trial, and I've had only 8 hours sleep in 4 days. I'm also working tonight at 10.30 again, and the whole family is booked in until the 28th. There is a strong possibility Grandma spent most of the day by herself as everyone else was at Cardiff Bay Police station.

 

Christmas in hotels are usually the quietest time of the year, so much so that I decided i would work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day so I could have New Years off. Sod's Law it seems, is the only law in the world that can't be broken, and that you always wish you could. And so ends our Christmas tale, I hope it's entertained you in some way, and may all your Christmases be better than mine

Edited December 25, 2011 by The Regulator

[MikeO]

Quality Martyn .

 

The tangerine jugglers were my favourite bit!

[Avinalaff]

Lol Reg.

 

Sounds like you had a belter. I spent Christmas day on my todd. Had egg, chips and beans for dinner.

[SimonButtle]

awesome story, showed it too my sister who lives in Cardiff, both of us had a good lol

Edited December 25, 2011 by theprisoner

[Mogsy]

Sounds like a good night out, where's the hotel???