rubecula Posted February 3, 2012 Report Share Posted February 3, 2012 I have always liked motorbikes from as early as I can remember. One of my 'uncles' used to race professionally in the 1940's and 50's. Anyway for my 50th birthday I tried to get all kinds of things sorted for the "big one" and all plans fell apart. Eventually I decided to go for broke and bought myself a bike (for the first time in decades) I bought a Yamaha XVS 1100 A for those in the know. (I bought myself a big bike for those not in the know) Test drive: Start, stall, go red with embarrassment. Start, stall, go even redder. Start, fistful of throttle, scream in terro at the approaching brick wall, get it round by the skin of me teeth, nearly fill me pants. Buy the bike. I had the ideal place to park it at home. The built on bit at the side where it would be under cover and well protected. Wrong! The place was too small to get the bike in. Unfortunate mistake but it could happen to anyone, so take it back onto the road, well no room to turn around. Had to pull it backwards up the slope. Gawd I wish it had been a moped by this time. I could not budge it. I strained and strained but simply could not move it up the slope. Maybe, (I thought) it would be easier from the other side. Very carefully I got myself around the other side and began to pull again. It moved! But not quite the way I had planned. It first rolled forward about an inch, then fell on top of me. My fall was cushioned by my rose bush, The massive thorns tearing through my trousers (and me arse). Gawd it is amazing the strength you have with two inch long thorns in yer bum. I lifted the bloody bike off me. Almost carryied it to the road, and stood there full of anger, with me backside on full view to the neighbourhood and my trousers hanging from my rose bush. Not long afterwards, I went for a ride on the bike, and just up the road by abouty 50 yards in the entrance to a resident's carpark. I was only doing about 10 mph or so as I approached it. A car driven by a wild feckless 'yoof' came flying out of the car park straight at me. I fell off. Not a big deal, no harm to the bike, no harm to me. Apart from the fact it is a big bike, and my boot was trapped underneath it with my foot still inside and the exhaust burning my leg. Neighbours (bless them) came running over, young lad was crying thinking that as I wasn't moving I was dead. (I wasn't moving cos I couldn't) The neighbours lifted the bike up slipped my boot off and I got free. Thanked everyone, and sat on the curb to put my boot on. I then leaned back on the grass thinking that it had been a bit close for comfort. Just then "Nee Naa Nee Naa" An ambulance arrived. Some kind person had phoned in the accident. "I am ok just a little fall is all." "No it isn't don't move. You may have a broken neck." "No seriously I am fine just fell off." "LIE STILL! AND DON'T TALK!!" "But...." Next thing I was tied down to a stretcher and being hoiked into the back of an ambulance. I was being kidnapped by body snatchers incorporated. Then they started jabbing me with needles. Police arrived and took statements (the car driver was given a hard time apparently) The followed the ambulance to the hospital, with me still in it. As you know I live on the island of Anglesey, the hospital is on the mainland. Whizzed into A&E and placed on a trolley in an almost upright position, still strapped into the stretcher with a neck brace on. The observation light was on and shone right in my face like some kind of gestapo interrogation. Four hours later and practically blind by the light, the nurse came in and said: "Right, I am going to cut your leathers off, it won't hurt." I said: "**** OFF, let me out of this madhouse. There is nothing wrong with me." "The doctor will decide that. where does it hurt?" "My wallet, these leathers cost a bleedin mint. And get that light out of my face fer gawdsd sake. Please... Please?" The police then returned breathalised me and said "You are in the clear." The doctor came, laughed and said "You are in the clear, you can go." I was let out, still in me leathers (phew) but on the mainland, no money, no phone and no bike. It took me all night to get home, and when I did my mate said he had moved my bike at the police request and put it on the garden. Nose down against the built in bit next to the bloody rose bush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcopaulo Posted February 3, 2012 Report Share Posted February 3, 2012 My fall was cushioned by my rose bush, The massive thorns tearing through my trousers (and me arse). Gawd it is amazing the strength you have with two inch long thorns in yer bum. I lifted the bloody bike off me. Almost carryied it to the road, and stood there full of anger, with me backside on full view to the neighbourhood and my trousers hanging from my rose bush. fuck me i almost died Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeO Posted February 3, 2012 Report Share Posted February 3, 2012 "The doctor will decide that. where does it hurt?" "My wallet, these leathers cost a bleedin mint. That was my favourite bit . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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