Did you hear about the prostitute who was into bondage?
She was strapped for cash.
Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift.
A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the 20,000 bowling balls, will he take them, so he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down.
Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies with sarcasm " Scouse eggs". The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look.He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He rushes back to his cruiser and gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible.
The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that he requires so many officers.
"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and the fuckers have managed to nick a motorbike already.
Q: What did the Jewish paedophile say to the little boy after luring him into his car?
A: Hey, go easy on those fucking sweets.
Q: What do you call a Welsh farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A: A pimp.
The Ferrari F1 Team recently fired the whole Pit-Crew to employ some young unemployed youths from Liverpool. The decision to hire them was brought on by a documentary on how unemployed youths in the Liverpool area, can remove a set of car wheels in less than 4 sec without proper equipment. This was thought to be a good move as most races are won & lost in the pits these days & Ferrari would have an advantage. However Ferrari soon encountered a major problem: Not only were the lads changing the tyres in under 4 seconds but within 10 secs they had resprayed, re-numbered and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team
Ten Liverpudlians arrive at the Pearly gates to be met by St Peter. “What are you doing here?”,he asks, “We’ve got no record for you. Just wait here while I check with the boss”.
So off he goes to check with God who tells himto go back and ask them how they died.
Two minutes later he reports back to God, “They’ve gone.”
“Gone?, all the Scousers?”, queries God.
“No, the gates”, replies Peter.
Skittin scousers like but are funny.