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Willo's Top Fives


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I beleive zed and i are x-mas cohorts but i'd like to also know everyones top 5 xmas hates .............



1. MY mums normally superb xmas dinners incorparating duck instead of turkey ( fatty grizzle slime meat ) and trying to say through a mouthfull of fat '' oohhh that duck is lovely '' .


2. The once a year drinkers that clog up the bar on xmas eve , the bar-stewards never drink all year round but still get in you're way at the local when you're trying to top up .


3. The xmas fixture pile up with the Blues , we always seem to have players fooked at xmas and put out a threadbare squad each year ( god help us with AVDM on the sherrry ) .


4. Some proper g@y boyband with a none xmas song getting to number one ahead of legitimate good/great songs all about xmas being put to one side . ( i.e from a few xmas's ago east 17 beating mariah careys '' all i want for xmas '' when her song was clearly better )


5. RS saying we can still win the league this year even though they are a good 20 points off the pack ( as per usual ) and claiming that the new year will bring them honours . W@ankers !!!!!!!!!!!!



Sorry for my scroogish outlook on things but there are always pro's n cons to every season .


Let me know you're top 5 peeps !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Oh and here's another , trying to look pleased when you're mum n dad buy you socks :lol:

Edited by Willo
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1) Fireworks, I mean WTF is that all about, but then again I am a bomb happy loon with issues so....


2) Channel 4 offering some wank*r a chance to give an "alternative" Christmas message.


3) My Mother-in-law's bloke falling asleep after I have cooked him a spanking Dinner, fat c*nt.


4) Tara moaning about having to lose weight after her indulgence over the festive period.


5) The kids f*cking up their pressies because they couldn't be arsed to read the instructions.


Bah humbug



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1. Ferrero Rocher ads on TV...having said that they're so bad they're good.

2. My mums Christmas dinners...used to be perfection, now we just have to pretend.

3. My mum and my wife being nice(ish) to each other through gritted teeth (actually that's quite fun to watch now :lol: ).

4. The BBC giving some old woman with a bunch of corgis ten minutes of airtime that I've paid for ;) .

5. Nightmares about Christmas 1993...


Sat 18 Dec NEWCASTLE UNITED............ 0-2 L

Mon 27 Dec SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY...... 0-2 L

Wed 29 Dec Blackburn Rovers......... ...... 0-2 L

Sat 1 Jan WEST HAM UNITED................. 0-1 L

Mon 3 Jan Chelsea................................ 2-4 L

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1. Not enough time off work

2. Missing the Game on Saturday the 30th due to going to see the pantomine and should have checked the fixture list, I am a tool

3. shit pressents, my mother in law has bought me a pair of gloves for the past 3 years, if I get a pair this year I will put them on ans strangle her


4. Going to my in-laws on xmas day for dinner, there is guaranted to be a kick off

5. Going into my local (muslim run) shop and they have a begging box on the fooking counter saying "Happy Christmas to all our customers.

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1 - The Manufactured Family Experience - [suggest's Moving to remote part of the globe]


2 - Mother in laws - Whom never ask a direct question or command. Hover around dropping cryptic clues as to what the fuk they want - then get shit's when ya havent picked up on the desire. [ Fuk even moving to a remote part of the globe has failed me]


3 - Parking. Anywhere & In General.


4 - Strained Apple sauce. If It aint got lumps it aint fukin xmas.


5 - Hypocrits. [ Yes as 2 am I - But I admit it]

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