The Day the Penis asked for a Raise
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for
the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor
ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response:
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request,
and considering the
arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects
your request for
the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the
management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are
often seen visiting other
locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be
pressured and stimulated in
order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety
regulations, such as wearing the
correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You
sometimes leave your designated work area before
you have completed
assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two
suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina