Ian Posted November 24, 2005 Report Share Posted November 24, 2005 Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people: 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. 8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, knob head? 10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots? 11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate. 12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need. 13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StevO Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 superb, shame about the purple goatie though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 Can Ia sk you a Question...LOL.... Billy was on Tv down under the other week..& had to Laff when Mel Gibson came up & Billy retorted... "Mel Fukin gibson"..aye or do ya meen "GOD" or whatever the fuk it is he calls himself these days..bought a smile to the dial Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest fozzie22 Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 The mans a legened simple as that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted November 25, 2005 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 im not a big fan of billy, makes me laugh now and then but hes not one of me best stand ups...but that is funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zed Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 (edited) I'll think youll find hes a bit more old skool Ian, I like his aggression Got all his vids and been to see him live at the hammersmith, which was a memorable weekend, although I dont remember much Always makes me PMSL Eh fox, what is the name of that American comedian you posted a link to a few moths ago, he was funny as well late edit fox IS ALSO KNOWN AS FOZZIE But I like to call him fox Edited November 25, 2005 by Zed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted November 25, 2005 Report Share Posted November 25, 2005 funny stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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