Cornish Steve

This showed up on my feed today, and I did find it rather amusing... A police officer pulled over a speeding car. The officer approached the driver and said, " Our patrol helicopter clocked you doing 80 mph. sir." The driver sighed and replied, "You must be mistaken, officer. I assure you that my vehicle was on cruise control at 60. Maybe your radar needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting, the man's wife interrupted sweetly: "Now don't be silly, dear. You know this car doesn't have cruise control." As the officer wrote out the ticket, the driver looked across to his wife and growled, "Can't you, just for once, keep your mouth shut?" The wife smiled demurely and commented, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did." As the officer made out the second ticket, this time for illegal use of a radar detector, the man glowered at his wife and barked, "Dammit, woman. Just keep you trap shut." The officer frowned: "Sir, I see you're not wearing your seat belt. That, too, is an automatic fine." The driver explained, "Actually, I was wearing my seatbelt, but I took it off when you pulled me over so I could get my license out of my back pocket." His wife immediately corrected him: "Now dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving." As the police officer wrote out a third ticket, the driver, visibly angry, turned to his wife and snapped, "Why don't you just shut the hell up?" The officer looked over at the woman and asked, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, ma'am?" She smiled at him and answered: "Oh, good heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."

This could get interesting... https://www.businessinsider.com/meta-holds-rights-to-x-twitter-rebrand-elon-musk-2023-7

Young on the left. Gomes a surprise. Dobbin given his opportunity. How many appearances must Maupay make before he's moved out?

Highlight reels can flatter to deceive, but he appears to have instinct in front of goal, which makes all the difference in the Prem.

Players go where they are told these days, not where they want. Money money money. If we are offering more money, he’s coming the Merseyside.

Not in the sense that Mitrovic is nasty. He should have been banned for a season.

This thread is now XXX.

Wouldn't touch him with a barge pole: a nasty piece of work.

I'm surprised that the sponsor allows that to happen. When you think about it, the grab for money is almost obscene. Sponsors pay clubs many millions for their logo to be seen on the field and our TV screens. Fans pay a small fortune for a team shirt, even while providing additional advertising for the sponsor. Money money money.

I certainly hope so. England will certainly have a point to prove.

Be patient. Maupay will be sold.

Very good. He's equally confident with left or right foot.

I like the graph shown at 3:45. It certainly reveals his potential. What concerns me, though, are the comments about rubbing teammates up the wrong way. We certainly don't need that.

Very glad it's a loan and not a sale. He's a bright prospect for the future.

All should be forgiven now. I really hope fans don't give him a hard time. He's Everton now; embrace him completely.

My reflections on the Ashes, now that Australia have retained them. 1) These are two well-matched teams. I don't agree that one team, or one captain, is superior to the other. Each has their strengths and weaknesses. I'd love to see another series between these two teams. 2) England began with arrogance, assuming that their Bazball tactic would win the day. Robinson, in particular, was obnoxious - and they lost those games. The moment England adopted a more flexible strategy, they did better. They won the third test and should have won the fourth. 3) England's declaration on the first day was foolhardy, and maybe arrogance was part of it. They lost the game in large part because of it. Unless the weather is known to be poor (as in the fourth test), I really can't think of a good reason why any team would want to declare on the first day of a 5-day test. In the fourth test, it was the complete opposite. Everyone knew that weather was closing in, and everyone knew that, for England, a win was the only acceptable outcome. They should have declared at around 450, or at 500 tops. Maybe Stokes was reacting to his mistake in the first test, but he was much too cautious in the fourth. 4) The whole kerfuffle about Australia being unsportsmanlike is nonsense. In the second test, Bairstow attempted to run out Warner in the very same way as Carey ran out Bairstow, but he missed the stumps. Does anyone believe that England would have forgone the 'out'? Of course they wouldn't. Both teams wanted to win, and both teams made good use of rules to do so. 5) Extras. Has anyone else pointed this out? In the first two tests, England actually had the better batting numbers, but they lost in part because of giving up so many extras. And dropped catches. They cost England dearly. 6) I'm so glad that England learned the lessons of the first two tests and made a series of it. If they had continued with the same strategy in all games, this might have been 5-0. Confidence and momentum are huge positives, but arrogance is a weakness. In sport, as in life, a little humility can go a long way. Anyway, it's a real shame to see the series end due to bad weather. It would have been great to see a 'winner takes all' final match at the Oval.

Maupay really really disappoints, doesn't he? Honestly, he contributed well at Brighton, so I was hopeful when he joined, but in this game he was truly awful.

Good to hear. I'm quite happy to play pre-season matches against lower opposition. They serve their purpose.

Is the weather as bad on Merseyside today as at the Old Trafford cricket ground? First impressions and all that...

If DC-L had been fit all season, we would have finished mid-table. Our dilemma last season was the complete lack of offence. Even if we only recruit in that area, it will make a huge difference.

By the way, I find it a little odd that England batted so long today when they knew bad weather was on its way. In the first test, they declared too soon. Maybe today they were nervous about that, but they could have achieved so much more with a couple of hours more to bowl.

We're not weaker. Financially, we've offloaded several high salaries. Honestly, which of those players contributed anything meaningful last season? It's not like last time, when we lost Richarlison and never replaced him (or Gordon and never replaced him). What we lack is squad depth; without it, injuries really hurt us. I feel confident we'll bring in two or three players in the next couple of weeks. Have faith!

I've been traveling (in 108-degree heat, I might add). I used to travel internationally every week and think nothing of it, but these days I struggle with the tiredness of arriving home at 2:30 in the morning. Still, that's another topic... Thank goodness England have learned from their earlier mistakes and are making a game of these Ashes. Instead of the arrogance of earlier tests, they've demonstrated patience when patience is needed and attacked when the pitch calls for that. Switching out Robinson was a smart move. If England want to win the series, though, they need to maintain this discipline and not return to their former attitude. This is a great series and has shown the importance of psychology, momentum, strategy, as well as ability. As Mike wrote, let's hope the weather doesn't spoil things since a draw means the Ashes are over.

We don't know all the details, and I wouldn't want to judge someone by that unfortunate episode. If he joins Everton now, I hope he gets as big a rousing cheer as everyone else.