Zoo 2.0

Not going to kid myself that that was anything other than average. A welcome return to Goodison but I do get the feeling I'll be going there more often than not to come home dissapointed this season, we aren't too bad going forward but defend with the skillset of a Sunday League team with a hangover which is both infuriating and upsetting to see. We are an absolute calamity at times and against Wolves I honestly think we're going to have our pants pulled down. Stekelenburg is woeful, but thankfully Pickford will play next week and our defensive pairing of Keane and Jagielka just doesn't work. I'm convinced that there is a player in there somewhere when it comes to Michael Keane but the last time I saw a decent performance from him he was wearing claret and blue, I find it hard to hurl abuse at Jagielka after what he's done but his legs have totally gone. Why we're heading into the season with a lad closing in on the age of 40 is beyond me, but I guess it's the Everton Way. Leighton Baines, another of the old guard was poor (thank heavens for Digne) and whilst Coleman was alright, rugby tackling Sando Ramirez to gift them the third was one of the biggest face in the wall moments I've had at Goodison. The positives from the game were Theo Walcott who was excellent, Cenk Tosun who was ruthless up top (fantastic finish for the first) and Richarlison who looked bright on the left flank. As I say, we're no Barcelona going forward but I think we'll cause the odd team trouble, its just that we're going to have to score about six or seven to ever be comfortable in a game. Whilst I don't think we'll go down we're not going to challenge for Europe this season and in my opinion it'll be an up and down rollercoaster stopping off at 10th place. The only hope is that we make progress behind the scenes and fix the mess that Koeman, Allardyce and Walsh left behind.

isn'tttt it time you bought a new keyboard?

It's worrying how badly this squad is riddled with AIDS. We can't write off these games as ''pre-season'' and then expect to flick a switch when we come to play Wolves. Even as a number two Stekelenburg is poor. He let Bradley Dack's early effort sail past him (and it was inches wide) and was nowhere near their goal. Mattew Pennington isn'tt going to be a youngster forever, he's 23 and we've got better options - move him on for fucks sake. Ashley Williams is just, well, Ashley Williams. I'd rather cheer on Charles Manson if I'm being perfectly honest. Besic has been class all pre-season but looks dodgy tonight, playing hospital balls as if they're going out of fashion and after bursting onto the scene Tom Davies has suddenly become anonymous under Silva. It's honestly so worrying how average we are, we're being played off the park by a Championship team and will be torn apart at Molenyeux. I get that it's pre-season but it's been four games now. We were shite against Bury, barely turned up against Lille and were beaten by a Porto side that are in disarray. Yeah it's down for me too, which is great as it means I don't have to sit through the shite at Ewood Park.

I think we will get a better idea of where we are at after the Porto game, that was obviously our second string side and whilst it would have bene nice to win (and we should have done with the Klaasen offside) it's good to see some of the kids holding their own against a well drilled Lille side. Porto have problems behind the scenes, they are selling players and not replacing them with fans very angry about money not being spent on the side, they only have one fully fit, established centre-back so I'm expecting a win tomorrow. As for today, Besic stood out as MOTM. I always wonder what would have happened to him if he didn't get that horrendous injury in pre-season two years back, for me he should be in the side every week and hopefully this is the season he establishes himself. He's way too good for the likes of Middlesbrough where he ended up last campaign. Stek I thought was poor, the sooner Pickford is off his jollies the better. Robinson was exciting, Kenny was stable and Williams can do one because I loathe him. Connelly was OK, not bad for his age I suppose. Klaasen did very well and seems to be slowly finding his feet with us, Niasse unfortunately showed us tonight why he will be nothing more than a luxury squad player. Gives 110% every week which I love but should have done so much better with his chances and blazed his penalty so high I'm sure some little green fella on Mars has a headache. A teeny tiny bit underwhelmed, but the real game is tomorrow and there were enough positives to keep me in good spirits.

Lille beat Porto 2-1 yesterday yet penalties took place. As there are only three teams playing two games each in the tournament, there is a good chance that there will be a tie when the competition is over. Therefore, awarding points for penalties gives a better chance of the cup having an overall winner.

Mine worked perfectly for the Irding game (I didn't even need to log in) however I am now stuck in a waiting room with 11 minutes to go which is frustrating to say that least. Edit: Managed to get into the game with about 11 minutes on the clock. I'm not sure what to make of the friendly to be honest, we are at the start of pre-season and still finding our feet but then so are Bury. It gives me a little hope that Liverpool drew with them 0-0 and you've got the likes of Arsenal losing at Brentford. I assume that these games are more fitness tests than die-hard fixtures. Niasse keeps impressing me, on another day he would have had a hat-trick and regardless of his natural talent he is working his socks off and doing the business. Whether he is a household name or not, if he can put the ball in the net he will make me happy. Given the amount of shite we have had to put up with in an Everton shirt (Williams being a prime example) I am happy just to see a player that's willing to run through brick walls for us as opposed to just picking up a wage packet.

Can't pretend that I'm not gutted but there are so many positives to take from this summer. We have gone from humiliation at the hands of Iceland to being 90 minutes away from a World Cup final, all with players with a handful of caps and little experience on the biggest stage - things can only get better with Southgate steering the ship. I'm just frustrated at how we ended the game yesterday, totally dominant in the first 45 minutes and so sub-par the next. A few people are jumping on Harry Kane's back but he had as much service as them kids in Thailand on their mobile phones. Pickford stood out all tournament and I just hope we keep him happy so that we can enjoy him for seasons to come. You wouldn't bet against United knocking if De Gea jumps to Madrid or Chelsea knocking if Courtois does the same.

Luke Garbutt is such an enigma, I can still remember him getting minutes in the Europa League and looking like the next big thing. I honestly thought we'd have Baines warming the bench and him up and down the left-wing by now but it just hasn't happened for the lad. At 25, he should be an established footballer. You've got the likes of Tom Davies having games before they turn 20 so unfortunately it's a race against time for Luke and with yet another loan spell under his belt it's only a matter of time before it's made permanent. I've always liked him and do wonder what has gone on behind the scenes to stop him from "making it". Another side of me wonders how he's ended up playing for Cheltenham, Colchester, Fulham and Wigan in the past four years yet none of them wanted him permanently - a bad egg perhaps? Who knows. A shame in my opinion, I really had high hopes for Luke. Agreed, Oxford do seem to like poaching from Everton and I wouldn't be surprised if we finally cut ties with Garbutt and he makes his loan switch permanent. At 25, he really needs to find a home. A fellow Football Manager fan! Top stuff.

Michael Keane was the victim of a broken squad and two managers who dropped the ball, much like Jordan Pickford who on face value might have looked poor due to the number of goals conceded, we all know that isn'tt the case as he was arguably our best player. I'd like to see Keane lining up alongside either Mason Holgate or a new signing. If we're dreaming here I'd like us to sign Mathijs De Ligt from Ajax but that's just me picking a name that I'd personally go for - who knows what Silva and Brands have in mind. Phil Jagielka is great don't get me wrong but if we want to go to the next level we can't rely on players who are getting nearer and nearer to 40, as a squad player he's brilliant but I don't know if he's capable of the full 38 games anymore. Let him warm the bench and play the last 15 minutes when legs are tired, or the cup ties to keep things ticking over. Ashley Williams as others have stated can go back to Swansea for me. Just seeing him in a blue shirt is enough to give me an aneurysm and I'd be over the moon if we begin next season with him out of the door - he's without doubt one of the worst signing we ever made and it still annoys me that he was allowed to wear the armband.

An identity - Let's face it, we don't have one at the moment. Out of the players out on the pitch which ones scream ''Everton'' to you? I could probably count on one hand the players that I could convince myself would put everything on the line for the shirt. I'm not tarring everyone with the same brush and saying that we have a team full of mercenaries but I don't think we have that identity and togetherness that we had in the Moyes era. At the moment we are just another modern football club, pissing money into the wind hoping our number comes up. I want us to spend money wisely, invest in the right people and have an identity again both off and on the pitch. A new manager - I don't hate Sam as much as others do but I agree 110% that he isn'tt the man to take this club forward, isn'tt the man that should be managing us next season and shouldn't be given a penny to spend in the transfer market. He deserves a lot of credit for steering us away from the relegation battle we found ourselves heading towards (because under Koeman and Unsworth we looked worse than Swansea and West Brom's U21's at times) so I'd like us to start 2018/19 with a new manager. Someone who is going to get bums off seats, someone who is going to get the Gwladys Street singing and someone who is going to bring back a feel-good atmosphere at Goodison Park. Half-time pints in a proper glass - A man can dream!

Getafe were in talks with Joel Robles last summer and a deal was only pulled off the table as they couldn't agree on personal terms. Getafe's current goalkeeper, Vincente Guaita is set to become a free agent himself and is being linked to Crystal Palace and Atletico Madrid as an understudy to Jan Oblak. As a result, I'd expect Joel to probably wind back up in his homeland with Getafe, with a deal coming to fruition now that he doesn't have a transfer fee tied to him (and because Guaita is off the wage bill). Jagielka I can see staying, but only for another year with a view to taking up a coaching role. When a defence contains the absolute calamity that is Ashley Williams keeping Phil is an absolute must however that does hang in the balance when you consider we have no idea who is going to be managing next season. Will they go for youth? Will they stick with the old guard? I'd like to think I haven't seen Phil in an Everton shirt for the last time but who knows. Conor Grant I don't know enough about but he's been around long enough to make a big impact and clearly hasn't. He must be 21/22/23 now and this is the age where special talents are already getting 15/20 first team games a season. I'd expect him to be on the released list and wind up at a League One/Two outfit.

Sky Sports News are reporting that David Moyes is set to have talks with West Ham United this week, but that it is ''very unlikely'' that he will remain as manager of the club. Following this, and with the increasing pressure on Sam Allardyce at Everton - would you take David Moyes back as manager of our club? This is obviously a philosophical question, many people (myself included) could name managers that they would prefer to take over but I still thought that it was an interesting question nonetheless.

Ended up flicking through YouTube earlier and stumbled upon one of the ArsenalFanTV vlogs from today's game. Basically the lad was moaning about just going through the motions with Arsenal now and it struck me as it's pretty much how I feel about Everton at the moment. I go the game every week as I have done as a season ticket holder for years now but it just feels like going through the motions at the moment. We're so shite it's unreal, I'm at the ground to support and get behind my team but it isn'tt half hard when the eleven on the pitch don't seem arsed. That performance against Spurs was embarrassing but it isn'tt the first and won't be the last. I'd be optimistic about this at home but we failed to beat them away when they were laughably shite so I assume they might give us a game at Goodison. I'd take a 1-0 but I wouldn't be surprised if it's a smash and grab from the Baggies.

Like the signing of Danny Drinkwater in the summer this is merely to bump up the numbers to fill Chelsea's ''home-grown'' quota. He's not going to break into their first-team and after 18 months of being bored and crying will link back up with David Moyes at West Ham (you heard it here first). I'm not really arsed in a way, I think he's always been given a free-ride because of the fact that he's come from the Academy. If he'd been signed from some Dutch club he would have been shipped out years ago. Despite having some potential and popping up some some magic every now and then he's 24 now and hasn't exactly set the world alight. If he thinks that he's going to join a Champions League club and stand shoulder to shoulder with Eden Hazard and Alvaro Morata then he's more deluded than Garth Crooks after a crate of Absinthe. I normally wish our ex-players well but I hope Ross falls flat on his arse. I understand that he wants to move to try and further his career but backing out of a Chelsea transfer at the eleventh hour to then sit on our injury table for six months and then move to Chelsea anyway is just as sly as it comes. He's no better than Fabian Delph committing his future to Aston Villa and declaring his love for them as captain only to turn around and leave 48 hours later. You won't be missed Ross, the next Lampard my arse. It's totally spineless. Hopefully this changes the illusion that Koeman fell out with him and proves that Ross was being an arse from the start. He's had this planned for months (even years) and had no intentions of ever playing for us again. .

Happy New Year (and a belated Merry Christmas!) to everyone involved in ToffeeTalk. I have been in and out of this place since my school days (which seem further away than I'd like to admit !) and it's nice to see that the same faces that were knocking around then are still here today. Let's hope that 2018 is a happy and prosperous year for you all and with it Everton follow a similar path, COYB! Hope 2017 is an enjoyable time for you mate, any tips on who might replace Obama ?

To be fair to the lad he's not really been given too much of a chance at AC Milan but in all honesty I'm not sure where all the hype came from when he was at Porto. His goal-scoring record wasn't all that great but his knack for doing it in big games (as he bagged a brace in the Portuguese Cup final a few years back) seemed to elevate him onto a level greater than his ability. Due to his age I'd take a punt on him for a shoe-string price but nothing of what Milan are expecting teams to spend. Unfortunately, André is another poor Portuguese export in the mould of Renato Sanches who has spectacularly failed since leaving Benfica, I hope we steer clear.

Towards the end of Koeman's reign we were relegation fodder, losing every week and shipping three and four goals in the process. I'd quite frankly have Charles Manson in charge if it kept us away from relegation so whilst I'm not ecstatic with Allardyce at the helm I can accept it and get behind him. Whether you like him or not, during his tenure so far we've looked a lot better at the back and have shot up the league grinding out results at Anfield (where we usually get battered) and against Chelsea who took the piss out of us last season. It wasn't exactly a fun game to watch but I'd rather have a dull 0-0 than an ''exciting'' 3-0 defeat. He'll go. He went straight down the tunnel at full-time with his head down and looks to be suffering from an incredible lack of confidence. Sam has confirmed that he won't leave next month but I do believe that he will return to La Liga to find some form in the 2018/19 season. He's one of those players that just isn'ttt cut out for the toughness of the Premier League but is suited perfectly to Spain, that chance at the end that he fluffed was painful to watch and it just confirmed my fears that he's not going to make it. Ha, well said . Thought you would be a bit happier considering the 0-0 shutout against Chelsea .

I was expecting this game to be a rebuilding job after a battering against Liverpool but seeing as we're still unbeaten under Allardyce I'm actually optimistic heading into this one. Newcastle have been in awful form and if it wasn't for the absolute dross in this league like West Ham and Crystal Palace hogging the lime-light they would be getting scrutinised a lot more than they are doing at the moment, to put it bluntly I'll be dissapointed with anything other than three points against the Toon. They're two points above 18th, if we beat them in the week they could be in there which would go against your theory. Despite having a little bit of clout Newcastle really are under-achieving and if it looks to be going pear shaped around February/March expect Rafa to start making noises about leaving to save face.

The worst part about this that Atalanta and Lyon drew 1-1 meaning that if we had held onto our lead we'd be in 2nd and going through into the next round. As it stands we're bottom and whilst we're only a point away from going through it feels like a massive opportunity missed. How we allowed ourselves to concede from a set-piece so early after Limassol went to 10 men is criminal and Koeman has every right to be feeling pissed off. DCL had to score from that header too, it's a free shot unchallenged and on the edge of the six yard box. He's young and I'm not going to get on his back but that simply has to find the back of the net, it's the difference between going through and crashing out. Shocking mate, looked intentional to me. Stamped on the back of DCL while he was on the floor and cause a bit of a panto. Kudos to the referee for seeing it and sending him on his way. Vlasic looked fantastic when he came on and has to start against Burnley for me, he scored a goal and should have set one up when DCL missed at the end. I'd have him over our other ''wingers'' any day of the week at the moment.

And who signed Vlasic you tool?

Shades of Bournemouth for me, we started OK but concede after yet another calamity from Ashley Williams who's becoming a bigger car crash as the weeks go by. To concede like that 12 minutes into the game shatters confidence and that's exactly why we've had yet another disappointing half of football. Everyone on here knows my stance on Koeman so I'm not going to repeat myself but he seriously needs to have a look at Williams. Having a weak link as big as that in the side could literally cost him his job, if we don't win tonight and then suffer dropped points against Burnley and Brighton then he might well be out of the door. He was rimming Lukaku 13 seconds into the game so it was to be expected. Are you a professional misery or is this just some kind of hobby?

A mature and knowledgeable answer I see. If ''any fucker'' could look good around players in that team then why was Andre Gomes being put in the shop window this summer in a desperate attempt to get rid? Why was Jeremy Mathieu sold after coming in just a few seasons previously? Why was Cristian Tello shipped out on loan and then sold this summer to Real Betis? The reason is because they wasn't good enough for the squad and as a result got sold. In other words, not just anybody can go to the Camp Nou and succeed like you've naively suggested, not to mention that Paulinho has been something of a talking point in Catalunya at the moment as he's totally reinvented himself from the flop that everyone saw at Tottenham, he's been a key cog in the Barca machine and has won them points on his own, most notably at Getafe when he bagged the winner. What am I bothering for though, you clearly watch enough La Liga football to know that anyone could look good in Barcelona and Real Madrid. The mind boggles as to why they bother having a scouting department .

Great post Mike. I think that any fan has the right to criticise the manager when he makes mistake but to then still bash him when he has done well just doesn't sit right with me. People's biggest complaints about Moyes and Martinez was that they made subs too late in the game to have an impact, Koeman spotted that we were going to lose and changed things around so that we didn't bringing on Tom Davies who was involved in two goals and Oumar Niasse who got them. No. I'm guessing because it's the perfect time to make a change. If by Christmas things aren't being run to an acceptable standard then the manager has had enough time in the season (i.e. - five months) to make things happen and obviously doesn't have the knowledge or skill to get what the fans expect out of the players. By sacking the manager at Christmas the new boss (providing he is appointed in good time) has five months himself to get things the way he wants it and hopefully do what the other boss couldn't.

I thought that the Bournemouth goal came at a bad time and as a result what ruined what could have been a good performance from us. I thought that we actually looked decent in the first half and whilst we didn't cause Begovic too much trouble you could see that we were growing into the game and looked the more likely of the two teams to break the dead-lock. Fast-forward three minutes into the second half and Joshua King has pulled the visitors ahead and we hit the panic button. You could see the cracks from the past few league games creep into the side and from there it turned into something of a nightmare. Kudos to Koeman (who is still being bashed despite us winning) for changing things around and bringing on Davies and Niasse who totally changed the game, without those two changes being made I do believe that we'd have lost. Once we got the first it was only a matter of time until we got the second and let's not forget that we would have had another had the ball not been cleared off the line when the score was at 1-1. Once we got that first goal we were a totally different team and had we played like that for 90 minutes would have won considerably and comfortably, I just hope that we take this run of wins as a confidence boost and play Burnley off the park in a week's time. We've got the quality to make things happen, it's just a case of things clicking into place and us catching that big break. Jordan Pickford I thought did well, he smothered the long balls that were thrown his way when Bournemouth were behind and denied Jermaine Defoe from close range just after King had scored to make it 1-0, if we had conceded there then it would have been curtains for us so he deserves as much credit as the rest of the lads for the points that's we've claimed today. Cuco Martina had another poor game for me, I know that it's the flavour of the month to get on his back but I thought he was awful in most departments. Even when he managed to get forward his crosses were gash and either hit the first man or found the opposition, you could really see the game change in this respect when Ronald added Kenny into the mix and I'd really like Jonjoe to start in midweek against Apollon. Ashley Williams again had a mediocre game, it wasn't as bad as his performances against Spurs, Atalanta and Manchester United but he's still about as much use as a chocolate fireguard, I'd much rather we brought back Phil Jagielka or Mo Besic rather than playing a David Haye look-a-like for hire that struggles at the most basic aspects of defending. Mason Holgate alongside him I actually thought did well and looked the more experienced of the two, hopefully he gets a run of games now either in the centre of defence or instead of Cuco on the right flank. Leighton Baines had a quiet game for me but did what he needed to, we were rarely exposed on the left and he did make some moves in the oppositions third that gave them something to think about, I do think that he would have done a lot better if he had an out and out left winger to work with. (How I miss the days of Steven Pienaar in his prime...). In midfield, Idrissa Gueye was awful and probably the worst player on the pitch in many ways. I'm actually a big fan of Gana and think that he was a cracking purchase but today he was totally incapable of finding a man in a blue shirt, I lost count of how many times a move ended with him and worryingly a lot of his misplaced passes were on the edge of our own box. Had we been playing a Chelsea or Manchester City I fear we may have been punished in this respect so it's lucky that Bournemouth are no such team. Alongside Gueye I thought Morgan Schneiderlin did OK although I do wish he would pass forwards more. It seems that sometimes his first instinct is to play a pass to Pickford rather than passing it through the lines but hopefully once we start playing better he takes the risks that he needs to in this respect, he was a great player for us last season after his move but has struggled to get going in this campaign. Gylfi Sigurdsson was anonymous (sadly) and Davy Klaasen didn't seem to get into the game, I think that the 90 minutes passed both of these players by. Wayne Rooney I thought played really well up until the elbow in the face which knocked him for six. At first I thought it would be good for him to be wound up but he seemed to just grow more and more frustrated as the afternoon went on and in the end started becoming a real weak link, I was glad when he was whipped off and replaced with Oumar. Up top, I thought that Dominic Calvert-Lewin was superb as he was all over the show. He brought down the long balls that Pickford pumped forward like Fellaini used to do in his prime and did look a threat on the rare occasion that he was let loose in the box. I was begging for him to add to his account following the brace against Sunderland but it wasn't to be, hopefully he starts again against Burnley and finds the back of the net as he's turning into quite a player for us. I still think that we need a striker in January but I'm more than happy for Dom to serve as our number two. Overall, it was a shabby result in the end, there's still plenty of questions to be asked but at least we're winning again. Hopefully this serves as a confidence boost and snowballs into the Burnley, Limassol and Brighton games. If we can get through the next three or so games unscathed then we can hopefully put this bad run of form to bed once and for all as the quality of the team is there for all to see it's just that the machine isn't quite oiled up yet... Oh, and Martin Atkinson really is a walking advert for contraception isn't he? What a complete bellend. Yeah, I remember many ''fans'' on social media calling for Koeman's head last year and it was all forgotten once we started winning again. It'll happen this season too, we'll start beating teams and all of a sudden the same ''fans'' will be rimming him and buying ginger wigs. Football fans are fickle unfortunately but that's just how life is. Amen - +1. He was all set to sign for Manchester United and they announced the signing of Victor Lindlehof, because of this Keane turned his attention elsewhere. I'm not sure on what basis you've decided that he was ''scared to go back'' considering how he's a Manchester United fan at heart and because of the facts that I've just stated.