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UEFA Cup. UEFA Cup is more worldwide, and we would be able to sign a better style of players, plus it would be really nice to win something in Europe again. Plus from that we would get a chance in the Champions League & The Super Cup.

Yeah when I watched the game on MOTD2 I saw David shake the hands of the Stoke supporters, nice to know that he could have a good match even from where he was sat. Tim has been shakey all season so far and needs to start grabbing some clean sheets. 4 Games and 9 Goals. In the Blackburn and the Portsmouth game IMO you can't just blame Howard directly for the goals, however it is statistics that count and going into Standard Liege with a record like that you can almost bank on the away side putting a few goals past us.

A bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?' She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank.' 'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.' 'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman, 'I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.' 'But, where did you get the tools?' 'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the South side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.' The guy is stunned. 'Let's row over to my place', she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite villa painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?' 'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed. 'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.' 'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?' Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet.' No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. 'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?' When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. 'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?' She stares into his eyes ..... He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes..... 'Bloody hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?'

Some more Pro Evo info for you fresh from Gamespot Having been lucky enough to see Pro Evolution Soccer 2009 on the PlayStation 3 ahead of Leipzig, we didn't actually plan on doing a specific Xbox 360 preview today. However, like Boy Scouts we always come prepared, and we headed over to Konami to check it out just in case. It turned out to be a good job that we did, because not only is the Xbox 360 version looking more polished than the PS3 one at this stage, but it even boasts a brand-new Microsoft controller specifically for the game. Of the six PES demo machines at Konami's Leipzig booth, four are Xbox 360s and the other two are PS3s. Poking out of the holes of those four demo units are brand-new, never-before-seen green control pads. "They're brand-new controllers from Microsoft," said our Konami rep. "The D pad now works in 16 directions, rather than just four." Although there's little physically different in the new controllers, the added level of control will definitely suit Pro Evolution Soccer. The previous design has been too bulky and imprecise for football and fighting games, so fans of PES and Street Fighter have reason to rejoice over the redesign. The D pad still protrudes quite a way off of the face of the new controller, but the extra precision will definitely come in handy for Konami's game. The new pad is probably the reason that we enjoyed the Xbox 360 version of PES 2009 a bit more at this stage. The game is apparently 70 percent through development ahead of its October release, and it feels more polished on Microsoft's console. We're sure (or at least we hope) that this will change in the run-up to release, but we definitely felt more control over our players on Microsoft's console. And though there were fewer teams in the 360 demo (only France, Italy, Portugal, Brazil, Argentina, and Croatia), there were less glitches and visual anomalies, and Ronaldinho looked particularly realistic. If you want to find out more about the features of the new Pro Evolution Soccer, check out our PS3 preview, which runs down all of the modes and gameplay tweaks. We're encouraged to hear that the new Xbox 360 controller will be released alongside PES, although it's slightly disappointing that it will be a limited-edition model. Either way, we hope to bring you more on the game ahead of its release in Europe a couple of months from now

I thought Vic would do well in midfield, big and strong good position for him methinks. I got the match report from TeamTalk for anyone that wants it, really please with the work that VA but in today. Goals from Ayegbeni Yakubu and Victor Anichebe had given Everton a two-goal advantage before Rory Delap's long throw-ins caused panic in the Toffees' rearguard. Seyi Olofinjana's volley and an own goal from Phil Jagielka pulled Stoke level courtesy of assists from Delap before Cahill broke Potters hearts. The game's first chance arrived after 12 minutes following a flowing Stoke attack The ball was worked out to Liam Lawrence on the right wing and he slid a pass through to Ricardo Fuller, whose low, first-time shot across goal was pushed out by a strong Tim Howard hand before being smothered by the American at the second attempt. It was a scrappy, frantic first-half after that with neither team able to keep possession of the ball for long and it took a piece of brilliance from Yakubu to break the deadlock. Yakubu calmly stroked home his third goal of the season on 41 minutes to give Everton the lead after a clever reverse pass by Mikel Arteta to Cahill created confusion inside the Stoke penalty area. Cahill laid the ball into Yakubu's path and his quick footwork created the space to steer home a left-footed effort into the bottom corner from 18 yards. Everton made a perfect start to the second half - doubling their lead on 51 minutes through Anichebe. Mikel Arteta's free-kick from the right was helped on his way by Anichebe at the near post and into the far corner. But Stoke hit back almost immediately with Olofinjana's first goal for the club. Delap's long throw was punched out by Howard straight to the midfielder, who sent his volley crashing into Everton goal. Ricardo Fuller had the ball in the net on the hour mark but his goal was ruled out for foul on Joseph Yobo. But moments later Stoke were level after another missile-like throw-in from Delap was headed into his own net by Jagielka. Everton were denied a penalty on 73 minutes when Leon Cort's handball in the penalty area was punished with a free-kick. Referee Alan Wiley initially pointed to the spot, but after a discussion with his assistant he awarded the visitors a free-kick on the edge of the box. But Everton got their noses in front on 77 minutes when Cahill met Arteta's corner with a powerful header at the front pos

Tim played excellent today, really good to see him back in the Everton team. Castillo comes close, knowing that this was his first Premiership game, first Everton start against a team that were hungry for points. I think he and Anichebe could have easily got my vote today. I've always thought Vic was lazy and useless of late, I hope he can build on his performance today and be a good youngster for us.

''Delap's latest long throw from the right flank finds Lawrence at the far post. The resulting shot from the Stoke winger is blocked and Everton clear the danger.'' I'm seriosuly getting tired of seeing that, even my gerbil's rolling her eyes at us playing the ball out. Everton make their second change with James Vaughan taking the place of Anichebe. Everton clear a late Stoke corner and the referee blows his whistle for full-time. David Moyes' side have been made to work very hard for the three points and they will now hope to push on. Stoke look dangerous from set-pieces but need to add some more variety to their play as the season goes on.

72 The referee and linesman are talking to each other as they decide whether to award a penalty to Everton. 73 Stoke are very lucky. Cort handled the ball inside the home side's box, however the referee has decided to award a free-kick. That is a shocking decision. 75 Everton boss David Moyes is being sent-off by the referee after showing his frustration at the previous awful penalty decision. He has made his way to behind the dugout and the game will continue. 77 GOAL CAHILL! Arteta's corner from the left is headed home by Cahill from eight yards. Everton are delighted with that strike as they get their noses in front again. It's 3-2 to Everton and Rodwell's coming on. ''82 Everton make their first change with Jack Rodwell taking the place of Cahill'' <3 Moyes.

54 GOAL OLOFINJANA! Delap's long throw is punched to Olofinjana by Howard. The Stoke midfielder, from just inside the Everton box, fires home a superb volley to get his side back into the match. It's gone down as an Olofinjana goal. 59 Fuller rounds Howard and rolls the ball into the empty net. The referee, however, has disallowed the goal as the Stoke striker pushed Yobo off the back. Anyone else not feeling confident?

GOAL! 2-0 The second-half is under way and neither side have made any changes at the break. Yakubu's flicked header into the Stoke box is cleared away from danger by Faye. Cahill's weak cross from the right is claimed with ease inside his six-yard box by Sorensen it seems Everton have started this half on the front-foot. Everton win a corner with Cahill to take. Cahill's corner from the right is punched away from danger at his near post by Sorensen. 51 GOAL ANICHEBE! Cahill's free-kick from the right is knocked into the back of the Stoke net by a flicked header from Anichebe. Everton are 2-0 up and it is hard to see how Stoke will get back into this game.

Have to agree with all of that, Stoke arn't really doing much TBH. COYB

Yep, he's definatly scored

1-0 Yakubu! 41 Fellaini's neat pass finds its way through to Yakubu just inside the Stoke box. The Everton striker does really well to create some space and slots the ball past Sorensen. Everton lead 1-0.

So many to choose from. -Arteta -Cahill -Lescott -Jagielka -Howard -Neville I would go for Arteta, closely followed by Nev and Tim. Edit: Two more that I forgot: -Pienaar -Yobo

Yeh, this collider thing will go down in history. For more information about the Collider and the end of the world visit this website - http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/

England need to bring Aaron Lennon back into the team. He's always fast and causes havoc in other defences. We need someone that is very fast that will run at the opposition and prove hard to handle. I would like to see Joe Cole in the England squad more often along with Aaron Lennon. I'm not too sure about Ashley Young TBH. I'm just not one of his fans.

Will Osman be fit for the Stoke City game?

Evanescance - Going Under Evanescance - Call Me When Your Sober Evanescance - Bring Me To Life

This was a weird thing that happened to me a while back. I was out with a couple of my friends (about March 2008) on this patch of deserted woodland. We were walking through the trees in this wood messing around and having a laugh until we got onto the subject of the Blair Witch Project. We started to try and freak each other out by yelling every now and then and just being random. But when we got out of the woodland and back onto a patch of grass which sat beside a road everyone walked off a bit quicker and kinda’ split up, it was just me and my friend talking together until she looked behind her and grabbed my arm. I looked back and saw this random man staring at us. He was stood behind some of the trees but he wasn’t hiding from us. He was stood behind all the leaves and tree’s watching us. He never moved, as if he was paralyzed looking straight at us. We looked at each other and started to walk quicker. We told the rest of the people we were out with to look at him but when we turned he had gone. The next day we were walking past this abandoned house that is on this active estate. The house hadn’t been touched for years as the grass was up to our knees and the door was wearing away, one kick and it would easily fall down. We looked through the window which was open and looked into the living room. It was empty, but for some reason there was an armchair. For no reason whatsoever, the whole room was empty bar a fireplace and this weird chair. The house was known for being abandoned and it was weird to see this chair. Me and my mate who I was with just laughed and headed back onto the pavement. We had a football with us and I passed it just a little to hard making it go in the road. My mate ran and got it meaning he was at the end of the road and I was at the entrance to the house (in front of the gate) I looked up at the top windows and I could swear that I saw the man from the day before. I glanced up and he was there but when I looked harder he had gone. I know you can imagine things but this was too realistic. It was weird. Totally, I’ve never looked back in that Living-Room because that house creeps me out. I haven’t seen the guy since but I could swear that he was there again. When I saw my friend (who I had seen him in the woods with) she said that she had seen him too next to the small lake that is behind her house, she said she looked out of her window when she was doing her hair and saw him stood on the side of the river staring at her, she ducked in fear from him and looked up again a few seconds later but he had gone. This just made it all the weirder. I’m unsure whether I believe in all the paranormal theories but this guy was just creepy.

I had just watched Vacancy and went on imdb to check a few things out, when a thread in the forums section had some pretty interesting scary stories. Found Here I thought it would interesting to learn if anything scary or even 'paranormal' has happened to you ever? On that forum they talk about people following them, or creepy hotels they've stayed in. Or even people breaking into their houses. ATM I can't think of one of my own experiences, but i'm sure i'll be able to come up with something later. So, has anything like this ever happened to you?

I fancy this girl at work, who is in a wheelchair. She likes me too, but is a bit concerned about starting a relationship. "Darling," she said, "I hope if we agree a date you wouldn't stand me up." "I'd never do that, my love," I replied. "You'd just fall over." --- A man in Germany felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest: "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a Jew in my attic." "Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me $50 for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

Seriously what were you thinking when you signed up for this forum? From what I've seen we welcome non-Evertonians with open arms so long as they actually contribute to the forum. We have had NE's commenting on how the games went for us, Baggies for example made some good contribution when he was discussing the WBA v Everton game as it showed what the game was like in the eyes of a Brom-Fan. We were a little intrested with your other thread because it included Liverpool, but other than that we don't really care how Sunderland do in the league as we know it's going to be in the Bottom 3.

It must be horrible having a hurricane hit you like that. Can't imagine beign one of the Katrina victims, like you said leaving all your possessions and never knowing when you will come back. We had a hurricane a few years back, it wasn't a big one but it would have done a little bit of damage it didn't touchdown but we were kept inside school for an extra half an hour. The slates on the roof were flying off onto the pavement making it un-safe to walk under and they were especially concerned about pupils in the 'Teague' building (where I was) because outside there was this massive tree that could easily crush the building and it was leaning violently to one side looking like it was going to fall on the building. In the end they moved on half of the building to the other just in case the tree hit and after a while the slates stopped dropping (because there were none left ) and we were aloud to walk home but we had to walk down the field, where we normally walked down the pavement was too risky with it being decorared with large trees so in the end they said we would have to walk down the field and climb over the fence.

If he plays Joleon at left-back he should be a good addition to the squad. It's only at Centre-Back that he's been shocking. Capello must have the thought of playing Joleon at left-back.

I think he likes to attack, but he's always been a defensive midfielder. There's a striker on Pro Evoulution Soccer called Castillo but I think he's a fictional player because he plays in the fictional starting team with the Master League. Maybe your friend thinks it's him?