Cake

Question 1 Lets get it out of the way, what are your thoughts on Manchester United and in particular David Moyes this season who has moved from managing Everton Football club for nearly 12 years to moving to Manchester United? I've been watching football long enough to remember when you were shite and were relegated, when you were mediocre and we were brilliant and wished we could play you every week through to the inception of the Premier League and the riches initial mediocre shared success with Arsenal in the early years of the Premier League was able to bring you. It could have all gone one way or the other for you and you could have dropped like a stone like, say, Wolves, through the divisions to rock bottom (twice) but the pendulum swung the other way once Fergie got his act together after his initial four or five years, so fair play to you. It could have been different, it isn't, and that about sums it up. At times you've been brilliant, others boring and grinding results out, week in week out. As for Moyes, he stayed at Everton 2 years too long but we are where we're meant to be and so is he. The fickle among your fan base would do well to remember Fergie was no success in his early days and the sack was a consideration so why do you expect any different from Moyes, or maybe that's just the media. Keep your hopes high and your expectations low with Moyes and you won't end up disappointed. Question 2 After what has gone on and all that Moyes has done for Everton, are you ready to forgive him? Nothing to forgive. He is no longer Everton's manager so what he does and says now is irrelevant and of no interest. Question 3 After seeing what Robert Martinez has done with your team, do you think he has improved the way you play, and it what way does he differ from David Moyes? Yes. Martinez instils confidence whereas Moyes is too cautious. When you went 4-0 up at Newcastle he would have been shitting a brick because you should have been back defending the 2 and 3 nil! Question 4 Do you think having Lukaku has made a difference to the way you play with his physical presence? I don't think Lukaku uses his physicality to its full potential because he doesn't need to. He is surrounded by good players and uses, what seems to be, a very good awareness and positional sense to find himself space to be effective. He has pace and power and uses it when he needs to. Question 5 Who is your most hated Manchester United player and why? Phil Neville! I don't hate any of them but Jones will never make a footballer as long as he has a hole in his arse and Scholes was always good for a laugh watching him trying to run and tackle, either at the same time or independently - he had a couple of seasons where he was really good at shooting and long-passing and that was about it. Question 6 What are your thoughts on Martinez? Do you think he is the right manager to get you where you rightly deserve after so many years trying; a Champions league spot? The jury was out at the start but he's certainly made it entertaining as well as possible so he'll do for me. He both sounds and behaves (interviews) like he really knows his stuff and is someone who should not be underestimated. Question 7 What does Manchester United versus Everton mean to you as an Evertonian? Much the same as any other game, really. I want Everton to win same as I want us to beat Fulham or Sunderland. I was more pissed off losing 1-0 to Sunderland than I would be if we lost 1-0 to you. If we beat you I just see it as 3 points for us, not that we are taking anything away from you, even if that's how the media portray it. The reaction of some of your fans and the media when we beat you is funny, to be honest - you need to get over yourselves every once in a while so Everton are good for you! Question 8 We have played against each other many times over the years. Which is your favourite game against us, and why? Can't pick just one, there have been many, for different reasons: 5-0 1984, 3-1 1985, 3-1 1986, 3-2 1989, 2-3 1995, 2-3 2003, 3-4 2004, 3-3 2010, 4-4 2012............. Question 9 What are your predictions for the game on the 20th of April? I haven't got a clue. Low scoring draw or we'll batter you!?

Norwich have sacked Hughton http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/26916661

Even if we don't manage it this season we will next. Playing the type of football we have this season and finishing where we will, be that 4th or 5th, can only bode well for attracting quality reinforcements. With Martinez as manager, too... good news spreads. Good, exciting, times are ahead.

Many congratulations! Good health & happiness to you all

Footballers pointing at the ball after committing a foul or at one of their team mates after scoring a goal. After nearly splitting someone in two, followed by a quick scissor/pincer movement round the neck with the thighs causing the ball to roll away but leaving the player choking for air on the ground, they point at the ball with a "Look ref! It's a ball! Great big fucking round thing rolling round all on its own! Unbelievable isn't it! It's right there, look! You what? You're booking me/sending me off!? Ah you bastard! Can't you see I'm pointing, here?" After scoring a goal, usually a tap in following a pass from a team mate, point and run towards him, angrily shoving other team mates aside, with that "You cheeky little minx" face on, specially reserved for the passer. Chelsea's players (and Suarez) do this a lot. The other hand gesture we seem to be adopting is 'The Italian' - thumb, forefinger and second finger on each hand pinched together and shake them slightly backwards and forwards - this is reserved for moments of extreme disappointment, for example when your wanker of a team mate didn't pass to you to tap in to an open goal, therefore denying you the use of the point and minx face as a result, or perhaps after your 63rd foul of the game and the ref has had enough after booking you earlier and giving you 52 chances since and now decides to send you off - do The Italian and remind the ref that you "know people". Arseholes!

Had a look at ticket prices for Barcelona vs Real Betis at Camp Nou, this weekend - just curious - start at 58 Euros (tiny sliver of seats way up in the Gods behind each goal) and go up to 164 Euros Real Madrid (vs Levante?) - 215 Euros Obscene!

I'll take a narrow win in this one. We scored well at home in the league against Stoke (for once) and Fulham but I think we are yet to completely batter somebody so I hope we save that for Man Utd!

That would be about 5 posts up, John....

So Metro repeat something from The Mirror. Lazy bullshit journalism.

Once you've ignored something can you unignore it?

Sad thing is it happens at the highest levels in every sport and has done for many years, perhaps always. International cricket, for example, is totally corrupt. Some of the corruption in football is subtle and some is blatant "you can't touch us" and they're unconcerned while people complain about it. It's the blatant which is hardest to take as it is the fans who are funding it.

Well, there you go. That's how much interest I take in this competition - that would make Roger Milla only 84 years old, today, instead of the 88 years old I thought he was. I never said soccer, I said football and I meant to say football but overall I stand well and truly corrected as sarcasm clearly doesn't come across well on these pages

For the World Cup I would like to see that turn into something along the lines of the way the FA Cup has gone the last couple of years with a 'no-hoper' winning it and perhaps 4 'unfashionable' football nations in the semis: Algeria, Japan, Honduras and Ecuador in the semis with Algeria edging Honduras in the final, would do. Then we might see how the whole thing is solely about football and that money has nothing to do with it at all? Football was the reason, after all, for the choice of Qatar and not forgetting Gazprom, sorry Russia. We all recall those plucky little North Koreans in '66, stout fellows, got knocked out at the right time though, eh. How important would England's glorious day in '66 have been if they had defeated North Korea in the final, instead of West Germany? Yes, anybody likes to beat the best but the best and the hangers on 'in suits' and who operate solely via rule and cheque books need a kick up the arse every now and again. Cameroon also gave it a go in '86... Cool Runnings on a football pitch! We need a bit of a shake up in football, at all levels, in all countries and in all international competitions.

Are you confusing him with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_Kenyon who played for us?

It's on now. Looks alright.

Good Lord. Not intending to wind you up any more than you clearly are but I stopped at "predictable".

He's like a little jerky, wind-up, wooden clockwork toy when he runs.. all that, stop, jerk, feint, stop, jerk, jerk, stop, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, stop, jerk, feint........... makes me nervous! Awkward, jerky little twat! And yes, he is a cheat.

11 games to go, we have 3 of the current top 6 to play (W1, D1, L1 first time played them this season) and 4 of the current bottom 5 (W1, D2, L1 so far this season). All games are unpredictable, really, as our results this season against Sunderland, Crystal Palace and Cardiff have already shown. I think I've said earlier we would finish 4th. I'll put that down to early season over-excitement goggles. Unless Spurs fall apart, which has got every chance as they are so flakey (always are) it's untrue, we'll finish 7th.

That's fair enough about winning the European Cup but their arrogance almost cost them that game in the first 45 minutes. He made them a decent cup knockout, one-off game team (that's partly why Abramovich trusted in him for a short spell) after spending in excess of £240m. It's clearly noticeable there is a different atmosphere, almost a calm determination, about Liverpool this season, compared with last and recent seasons. Look at Suarez.. he is not the same player as last season... no cheating, no snidey fouls (stamping, raking, biting, diving.....), no throwing toys out of the pram every time and I mean every time something doesn't go right for him. If I had £40m to spend and they would let him go for that I know where I would spend it. Gerrard is different, nowhere near as cocky and "our history, our fans, blah fucking wah everyone's against us......"). There's a load of them 'different'.. Henderson is not a footballer, or wasn't until now.... he's still no world beater but is very effective. Coutinho.... as good as, if not better than Oscar, this season? There are others... they're 'different' and it isn't all down to Rodgers, the Kop, nor Bill Shankley, The approach they have developed is down to the guy below; http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/liverpool-fc-appoint-top-rated-sports-3330606 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Peters_(psychiatrist) http://www.chimpparadox.co.uk/ There are a couple who haven't listened to a fucking word he's said, though... Glen Johnson still likes to run the ball out of play while over-lapping for a right foot cross and then looking as if it's the first time it's ever happened to him and he'll then try cutting inside to twat it over the bar with his left with the Britney "Oops I did it again" on his face and there's Skrtel who just wants to be loved with the amount of hugging he does and then attempts to scare the ref when he's pulled about it with his Eastern European "I'll bite your neck and kill you dead forever" look on his face. Skrtel is also slower than Gareth Barry, if that's at all possible, but Dr Steve can't help with that one! Get one in (a psychologist). What harm can it do? Chelsea have got their own full-time one. Why not us? Or are we too proud?

Sorry, it didn't breed winning mentality. That fat fucker almost bankrupted them... financially and mentally. They now use a sports psychologist.... one of the best in the world. Can't recall his name, he was on tv the other week in an unrelated programme and dropped it out he works for the shite. If it's good enough for them it's more than good enough for us. Pride is a killer, especially misplaced pride, and no harm in giving it a go.

No offence taken and I'm sure there are times when they've blown teams away. Even Everton have done that. When it works, they look good. When it doesn't, they are boring. The inference, mainly by a toadying media, that they are constantly unstoppable and the football they play is so far out there is wrong as at times it's not and when its not they are boring and very ordinary. If Everton had possession of the ball for almost 70 of the 90 minutes and had 8 attempts at goal after passing it 5 yards to each other in cute little triangles or diamonds, whichever you prefer, and lost 1-0 they would get told the same. I appreciate 'attractive' football. I appreciate exciting, high tempo football. I've been fortunate to watch a lot of both, and also been bored shitless too in the 45 years I've been watching Everton and football, ingeneral. Being told constantly you are wonderful or that you must aspire to the same level of wonder has no place in any sport as when you fall flat on your arse, as you surely will, you (this is a metaphoric you, by the way) don't have a clue how to deal with it and start looking for excuses rather than reasons. You need to know equally as much when you're boring and ineffective as you need to know when you walk on water. I did think about making personal accusations about you and your family, when I first read your reply, or of excusing my outrageous comments with still being hung over after a four day bender, although I'm through the worst of it now, but all I can tell you is I make sure it's none of my business what anyone thinks of me, mate, so no harm done as I said. Words on a page, same as mine.

The disappointment is tangible. We need to batter Cardiff, but I can't see it. I have no further words for this.

Barcelona had 75% possession in their game against Real Valladolid today. In that time they mustered up 13 attempts at goal with 6 of those being on target, or 1 attempt at goal every 7 minutes, approximately, with 1 attempt on target every 15 minutes, approximately. They lost the game 1-0. In a recent game, which they won 1-0, they had 82% possession with 8 attempts on goal in that time, 3 of which were on target. Zzzzzzzz.................... Greatest team we've ever seen, they are!

"I'd like you to meet my wife and sister. Here she is!"

Approximately 400 words to say absolutely nothing at all but what Burnham hoped to achieve, apart from highlighting his own blueness, I don't know?