Cake

3-5, 3-6 same result. He made a bad choice and a twat out of himself at the same time. It didn't affect the result. He'll be alright.

Our defensive set-up (Barry & McCarthy included) has cost us 5 points against two top sides, who we took 6 points off at home last season, after we had same start as last season - snatching a 2-2 draw, away from home, from the jaws of victory by conceding a late goal (Norwich & Leicester away). Who will we get these missing 5 points from at home this season, where we we didn't pick up a maximum at home last season. 3 home draws - West Brom, Spurs, Liverpool, 3 home defeats - Sunderland, Crystal Palace, Man City. Then we have to maintain, or better, our away form to have the same points tally as last season. Jagielka should be dropped. Barry & McCarthy were caught out of position so often when Chelsea broke they simply don't have the pace (well Barry doesn't) to recover if they're caught out. Barry's main strength is his positional awareness (saving tackle on Eto'o, last season?) - if he's even out of position he's fucked, McCarthy has more chance of recovery but not when he's caught so far out of position. I'm not saying Barry & McCarthy were always at fault for being caught out as perhaps they were trying to cover others' lapses but Chelsea exploited this to the maximum. They knew Jagielka and Distin could be picked off and so Barry and McCarthy were drawn out, which they either fell in or were forced in to, and Chelsea picked us off. It's not a crisis by any means as it will get sorted but we need to sort it soon and start by dropping Jagielka, putting Stones in there, and getting Barry & McCarthy back to doing what they were bought to do. Edit: they probably don't have the lace, either, but pace makes more sense!

Except Michael Ballack.... Ze Germans, eh.... I don't mind 13, I don't like single numbers... except for 3, 3 is OK

We seem to have gone back to the dreaded (for me) zonal marking. Disaster waiting to happen, whoever uses it. Also, I used to think Yobo looked like Bambi On Ice whenever he had the ball at his feet but Jagielka and Distin make him look like Franz Beckenbauer (or maybe Rio Ferdinand, when he was at his best, for those who only know the EPL)

Man Utd being humiliated on the Capital One highlights show. Can't wait to play them.... "6 weeks ago van Gaal was involved in a World Cup semi final....."

Just finished watching Super Kevin Campbell on Question of Sport - terrible back-slapping shite of a programme but Super Kev is Super Kev

There's 12, 13, 25, 28 available. Maybe he was given a choice and chose 5? Didn't Kone wear 2 at Wigan and for Ivory Coast? Tim Howard's our number 1 choice and wears 24. Distin wears 15, and so on. I'm not bothered what number he wears as long as he still remembers where the goal is.

http://metro.co.uk/2014/08/25/everton-set-to-complete-samuel-etoo-deal-after-liverpool-lost-interest-in-ex-chelsea-striker-4845297/ Cameroon striker Samuel Eto’o is set to join Roberto Martinez’s Everton after Liverpool withdrew their interest. The former Real Madrid, Barcelona, Inter Milan and Chelsea striker is a free agent after his one-year deal at Stamford Bridge expired earlier in the summer and will have a medical at Everton on Tuesday. A three-time Champions League winner, Eto’o has been coveted by a whole host of clubs this summer but according to Goal, the Toffees have won the race for his services. The 33-year-old has a stunning track record with more than 300 club goals to his name and Martinez wants dependable back-up to star striker Romelu Lukaku up front. Arouna Kone has been out with a long term injury and is still not available while Steven Naismith is more of a second striker than out-and-out forward. Eto’o will lower his £130,000-a-week wage demands if he is given a two-year deal, which seems the most likely outcome with Everton having already spent big on transfers and new contracts this summer. Signing for the Goodison Park club would be something of a backtrack for the veteran striker who insisted earlier in the summer that he will continue playing at a Champions League club.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/28930641 Pretty much a done deal if it's just appeared on here

As above re Meulensteen being a great coach (probably) and a shite manager. If he had potential to be that good a manager Utd would have asked him to follow after Ferguson. They saw through him, so they didn't, leaving Moyes to do their dirty work for them and freeze him out, resulting in him seemingly blaming Moyes for every shit thing that's ever happened and ever will happen in his life. Doesn't Moyes know who he is?

Shankly ended up resenting Liverpool in his retirement as he still turned up at training sessions which Paisley was trying to run and he became a bit of an embarrassment to them as, quite rightly, he wasn't welcome to interfere with what Paisley was trying to do. Shankly knew he had a big reputation - he was a sort of Mourinho or Ferguson of his time with his quips, anecdotes and mind-games about opponents. When Liverpool wouldn't give him a seat on the Board he really chucked his toys and as he lived closer to Bellefield than to Melwood he spent a lot of his time mooching around there, leading him to quote; "I have been received more warmly by Everton than I have by Liverpool. It is a scandal that I must write these words about the club I helped to build"

I like what you've done to the badge.....

Grow a club? Grow a fucking club? What the fuck!!?? Would be good to see Everton be a bit more enterprising in this area! What? We have always developed talent, either bought talent or home grown, and either nurtured it and/or sold it for the common good of Everton Football Club. If you had as much fascination with our football club as you do with our manager you would know these things and not quote corporate bullshit buzz phrases to link us to shite like Chelsea. When Martinez leaves us I hope he goes to Chelsea. You belong there.

With less than 3 weeks to kick-off I would have expected our main striker to be here, by now, getting ready to blast them in for our cause. We have Arsenal and Chelsea in our first three games and need to be on it, as Ray W might say. Lukaku is a decent prospect with all the right soundbites but his potential isn't worth this level of speculation. Sign the paper and get your arse in gear, stay where you are or go somewhere else. Simple. You're not good enough to be haggling like this, that's if you are.

BBC gossip have him signing for Hull tomorrow http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/gossip/

The Clap, 'something' in his water sample or, more seriously, an underlying heart problem is where I'll stick my 50p bet. If it's the latter don't touch him, if it's anything else offer £4m for him. Just seen EFC-Paul's post.... heart it is then. If it's only a murmur, still offer £4m.

Can't recall anything he's been in or done as an actor (Scum, when he was younger, maybe?) but I've heard others say they like him as an actor. My money is on him playing some tough guy, gangster "wif an art of gold, so he has" type character.

Ray Winstone

Jo has filled out a bit since his days with us. Looks like he's been on the pies and weights but mainly the pies.

3 decisions wrong in one moment: 1. It was a free-kick 2. It wasn't a penalty 3. It was a red card not a yellow

Suarez's name being on a shirt on the front page of Barcelona's website, depicted in a stadium. Isn't this against the ban as merchandising would be football related activity?

£125m for 2 players and they still won't win anything. Priceless!

10 World Cup stars tattoos. Check out Tim Howard. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-28208488

£200 p/w including utilities (council tax, gas, electricity, water and service charge (if it's a flat/apartment)) is very reasonable and you won't find better for the period of time you need it for. Keep it simple. Take the option available. There isn't always something better (cheaper).

Is Samaras's first name Offside? I wouldn't have thought it possible to find anyone offside more often than Jelavic but that's one dim Greek!