johnh

After 25 minutes, Porto have had 27% possession against Bayern Munich but are 2 - 0 up.

Just had the UKIP canvasser at the door. He said: 'have you thought about voting UKIP, no I don't suppose so'. I replied that he was right and he departed. I have had the Lib Dem's but no Labour or Tory. Mind you, for Windsor & Maidenhead the Tories don't have to wear out much shoe leather.

Me too, St. Paddy's day March 17th. Happy birthday Mike.

Liverpool who must get more penalties than any other team get away with a cast iron penalty against Newcastle. The ref is only five yards away when Lovren clatters the Newcastle player in the penalty area and the ref waves play on.

The FIFA regulations should forbid any club paying an agent. Agents representing players should get their fee from the player.

My memory of Albert Juliusson and it is so clear that it could have been last Saturday, (it was 1948/49 season) was seeing him run onto a pass on the edge of the penalty area, only the goalie to beat. He side-footed it for the corner of the goal but it hit the post and came back to him. He tried the same thing but again it hit the same post and came back to him. By this time he was on the edge of the six yard box, he side-footed it again but it went three yards wide. It was so funny, all done at speed like something out of a Laurel & Hardy film, that the Goodison crowd just collapsed laughing.

No, the worst ever was Albert Juliusson, that was in 1948.

The British Army in the African jungle 1920's. The Colonel in charge is going back to the UK and his replacement arrives. They have their gin and tonics and cucumber sandwiches and the Colonel calls for his adjutant, Captain Smithers. In comes Smithers who is three feet tall, hunch back, no teeth, bald and with a withered arm. The Colonel says 'Smithers, tell the new CO about yourself'. Smithers says 'I finished top of my intake at Sandhurst, won the MC on the Somme, was mentioned in dispatches five times....... 'No' said the Colonel, 'the new CO can read all that in your records, I mean tell him about the time you told the witch doctor to f*** off'.

Next season his replacement will be the only 'ever present'

Mowatt is a favourite with most Leeds fans but does have his critics. I only see the televised Leeds games so not much to go on. On a Leeds supporters website he has been criticised for being 'one footed' - he only uses his right foot to stand on. He is not particularly quick and struggles, fitness wise, in the later stages of a game. I must say that it is noticeable in TV games that he has to manoeuvre the ball onto his left foot before he makes a pass other than a short lay-off.

According to the Yorkshire Evening Post, Mowett is on Hull City's radar and Byram is being linked with Liverpool.

Why do things always go wrong on a Bank Holiday? This morning I found that non of the taps, except those connected direct to the mains, worked. I know what the problem is but it is in the loft and I can't get up there now. Can't get anyone out being a Bank Holiday so will have to wait till tomorrow. That has screwed up my appointments for tomorrow which I have to rearrange. Maybe its my punishment for gloating over Liverpool getting walloped 4 -- 1.

Apologies for this but I haven't got anything better to do at the moment. When I was returning from Singapore (March 1957) it was by troopship, the HMS Dunera which, at only 13,000 tons was the smallest troopship in service. The Suez Canal was closed due to the Suez crises so we had to go around the Cape. Stops with 'shore leave' were: Colombo (Ceylon), Mauritius, Cape Town, Dakar (what was then French West Africa). We reached Southampton 42 days after leaving Singapore. There was a French Foreign Legion fort in Dakar and arrangements had been made for a football match - French Foreign Legion v a team from HMS Dunera. I had been selected for the Dunera team and was most pissed off when the match was cancelled. We hit some really bad weather, particularly in the Indian Ocean where we spent 14 days without a sign of any land. It was also bad in the Bay of Biscay where no one was allowed on deck. Being relatively small, (other troopships were about 25,000 tons)we took a bit of a battering. I had my 21st birthday in the middle of the Indian Ocean. I still have quite vivid memories of that journey which is why I have never been on a cruise!

rusty747. That was my first ever flight. We got on the plane, got to the end of the runway the engines revved up, stopped, and we all got off. This happened three times before we finally got away. I remember the pilot announcing that if we looked out of the port side windows we would see the French Alps. Shortly after, he announced that due to technical problems we were returning to Blackbush. We finally got away but had 'technical problems' most of the way, causing delays. I had a window seat facing back towards the tail and just forward of the wing. Between Calcutta and Bangkok the engine immediately outside my window gave a 'cough' and the propeller came to a stop. Another delay in Bangkok. The guy I was sat next to had a pocket chess set so I spent the whole flight playing chess. Unlike you, I didn't have to fly the bloody thing!

Not sure if I have posted this before. In 1955. when I was posted to Singapore, I flew from Blackbushe in Hampshire on a four engine (propeller) Hermes. We took off at 11.30 Monday morning and landed in Singapore at 10 o'clock Friday evening. It should have been Thursday evening but we kept getting engine trouble which delayed us several times. At 18 years old it didn't bother me but as I got older I flew all over Europe and to America and was never particularly happy flying. I can still remember the route which was: Blackbushe, Rome, Nicosia, Bahrain, Karachi, New Delhi, Calcutta, Bangkok, Singapore. We had overnight stops in Karachi and Calcutta and flew through the night twice.

Liverpool's goal another penalty. Didn't have to guess who won it.

Jumping on the bandwagon? In the Telegraph Sport today there is an article quoting Chris Ramsey, currently managing QPR, that if he is sacked he will struggle to get another job because he is black. Puts QPR in a difficult position.

Rusty747, thanks for that. I pinched it and put it on a Leeds United fans website. They are owned by an Italian and have bought a lot of Italian players. It went down very well. A few fell for it - not another bloody Italian etc.,

Very subtle April Fools joke that - the idea that Roberto would ever sign anyone who might replace Gareth Barry.

Like Townsend he should have been aiming for the side netting, not a difficult skill for a pro footballer.

Rooney missed two open goals though. The second one just inside the box, nice height, no pressure and he hits it straight at the goalie.

Handbags.

Wrexham were lucky they didn't play the whole of Ferriby. (The old ones are best!)

Used to go on holiday to Anglesey every year, to Benllech Bay. This was in the 1940's. All the locals only spoke Welsh.

Rubes, you really need to talk to someone who specialises in employment law. From what you have said, it does not appear to be legal. If it was, I would be very surprised. Does your employer value their 'image'? Summarise the whole situation and tell the personnel manager that you will be talking to the Echo.