johnh

Maybe his first recommendation will be to buy Fellaini back from Man U!

Women's rugby is played to a far higher level than Women's football. Women's rugby is played at a fast pace with crunching tackles, while women's football is played at a slow pace with some women unable to kick the ball more than 20 yards. I watched a women's England game last season and the England left back couldn't kick the ball more than 10 yards, even when trying a clearance. Don't understand why this should be so?

Welcome in agbaby. 'so flat you can watch your dog run away for 3 days'. I lived in East Anglia (UK) for several years, very flat and the term used was 'flat as a witches tit'.

Police have removed offensive material they found on Cliff Richards computer. Cliff Richards has complained that they have taken his 2014 Christmas album.

The nomark of Zorro.

Scotsman on his deathbed in Edinburgh, surrounded by his wife, two daughters, his son and a nurse. He whispers 'Bernie, take the Braid Hill Houses. Sybil, take the flats over in Morningside ad Bruntsfield. Tam, I want you to take the offices in Charlotte Square. Sarah my dearest wife, please take all the residential buildings in the New Town. Then he slips away. The nurse says to his wife 'he must have worked very hard to acquire all those properties'. 'Properties' snorts his wife, 'they're paper rounds'.

Welcome in. Have been to Bournemouth quite a few times, nice place. Mainly playing golf - some really nice courses. Parkstone is my favourite followed by Isle of Purbeck. The way Bournemouth have started in the Championship we might be playing them next season!

Byram was a real prospect a year ago but suffered with injuries and hasn't 'kicked-on'. His best position is still not clear. His defending is not good enough for Right Back at a higher level. Right sided attacking midfield would probably be the best option. Leeds would probably let him go for £7/8m.

An American lady teacher was on an exchange visit to a Liverpool Primary School. One day she was supervising a sports lesson. All the kids were racing about and she noticed one lad who was stood on his own. She noticed that he had been on his own for some time. She went over and said 'why don't you join in with all the other lads' The lad said 'I don't think I should'. 'Why not' asked the teacher. 'I'm the goalkeeper' said the lad.

In the Charity Shield match, Richards was left on the bench and City played a left back at right back. Doesn't say much for his chances for regular football this season.

I gave up watching at about 10 pm. Its bad enough going to adverts every 10 minutes or so, but when you get back to the golf after the adverts and all you get are interviews and scoreboards for several minutes, when you know there is golf being played, its enough to turn you to drink - if I wasn't there already!

Fancy Smith (Brian Blessed) and his Scottish sidekick, can't remember his name.

Rubes The Z cars bit gave me a lump in my throat and I only live in Berkshire!

Read that Ebola might be coming to the UK. Can't find out if its Chelsea or Man City he's going to.

Oscar Pistorious has sacked his legal team. He has hired the legal team of Glasgow Celtic because he read that Celtic had lost two legs and still won.

How many penalties did Liverpool get in their game at Old Trafford last season, 4 wasn't it? Three of them 'dives'.

Did he get Sir Alex Ferguson's permission?

You are very talented, well done. Played against Stockport County once (1959) - at Stockport's ground. Hope they get back in the league before too long.

Hafnia Yes, cross from the right, saw the goalie following the flight of the ball so headed it back the way it came. Crowd was about 3,500. Good crowds in those days for non-league. We once had over 2,000 for a league game.

Apologies for this being off thread but just remembered this. When I lived in Liverpool, age 15, the local Church started a football team in the under 18 league. One of the teams in the league was Everton Colts and we played them at Bellfield. When they ran out, they all looked like men to a 15 year old. We lost 13 - 0 and after the game the Everton coach came into our dressing room to congratulate us. He said it was their toughest game so far that season. It was the first game they had scored less than 20 goals! PS Thanks MikeO.

Centre-half and centre-forward. Played for Leeds United Juniors (after National Service I went back to Leeds and they said I was too old!) Played for Yorkshire Amateur in the Yorkshire League, also Harrogate Town and Ossett Town. Representative games: Leeds & District FA, West Riding County, FA X1 (v Army) North of England (v Stockport County - trial game for the Rome Olympics 1960). Greatest moment: Playing centre forward and scoring both goals in the West Riding County Cup final win against Farsley Celtic. (1961) PS If you go into the web site for East End Park FC. Click on 'About Us' then click on 'Ground' you will see a photo of me scoring the winning goal in that County Cup final which was played at Skelton Road the ground of East End Park FC.

The downside of billionaire owners. Nottingham Forest have had the name of their ground changed. According to newspaper reports, they have also sold two players to Newcastle without the managers knowledge. Stuart Pearce said that the first he heard about it was when one of the players told him he had a medical at 2.00pm in Newcastle. At least with Bill we know that, unlike Cardiff, our shirts will never be changed to red. Or, unlike Hull, the name of the club will be sacrosanct.

That reminded me about the big fat ugly woman at the supermarket check-out with two unruly kids. A bloke in the queue said 'can't you keep your twins under control'. The woman said 'they are not twins, ones 12 and the other's 8, what makes you think they are twins'. The guy said 'they must be, no one would shag you twice'.

I have posted this before but it is worth repeating. I can't believe some of the stick that Bill Kenwright gets. He is not perfect, no one is, but take a look at some of the other owners/chairmen of Premiership clubs and be careful what you wish for. At least we have a dyed in the wool, true Evertonian as chairman.

Matt Yes, I realised that, just thought his 'good deed' should be recognised as it didn't mention it on post.