The Beard Posted October 25, 2010 Report Share Posted October 25, 2010 I used to go out with a Dutch girl.........she was totally crazy, up to all kinds of antics. She dressed wacky as well, mad make up, weird hair-do and she used to wear these crazy inflatable shoes, honestly inflatable shoes. All ended tragically though, I came home one day and she had passed away. She just popped her clogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcopaulo Posted October 25, 2010 Report Share Posted October 25, 2010 had my first cage fight today..budgie didn't stand a fuckin chance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubecula Posted October 26, 2010 Report Share Posted October 26, 2010 My ex really put on weight. I first noticed it under the light in the bedroom. While we made love, it burnt my arse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeO Posted December 27, 2010 Report Share Posted December 27, 2010 A Russian couple were walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife. "No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing." As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?" "It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!" I'll get my coat . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcopaulo Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 I was at the airfield today, when suddenly a voice screamed out, " Oh my God! There's a meteorite heading straight for us. We're all going to die." As others looked to the sky, more screams rang out in panic and people started to run in every direction. I carried on reading my a paper safe in the knowledge that my wife had just started her skydive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 INTERNET WARNING.... If you get an email titled "Nude photo of Ann Widdecombe", don't open it. It contains a nude photo of Ann Widdecombe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluemonkey Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 A family is driving behind an Ann Summers delivery truck when a large dildo flies out and hits their windscreen. To hide her embarassment the mother says to the children "That was a big bumble bee". To which the 7 year old son replies "I'm surprised it could fucking fly with a cock that size!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 I was sitting on the train the other day and there was this guy sneezing, then taking his cock out and wiping it off. He was doing it every couple of minutes so out of sheer morbid curiosity, I went over and asked him what the hell he was doing "I've got a medical condition, every time I sneeze I orgasm, so I have to clean myself off" "Oh," I replied " Im sorry to hear that. Are you taking anything for it?" "Yes, of course" the man replied, "got my pot of pepper right here" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted May 18, 2011 Report Share Posted May 18, 2011 http://www.groapacuprosti.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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