JoeQuince

 

Just for the record, he's from Colombia - home of coffee. Is 'Coffee' slang for 'Colombia' in Spanish, I wonder?

Colombia's national team are nicknamed "Los Cafeteros"... or "The Coffee Growers." That's what it was translating. He's a cafetero.

I think this kid will be well loved by Evertonians.

https://twitter.com/onyekuruhenry/status/880807690175471622

Confirmed.

Sounds like an ideal partner for our new main man, Sandro.

That's how I feel, too.

But, don't get me wrong. He's equally frustrating. This video shows you a lot of good (like all highlight videos), yet it also shows a lot of his weaknesses. But, fuck if he isn't an exciting player.

Also, like all flair players he will be prone to laziness (offside a fair bit) and doing things that seem nonsensical.

https://youtu.be/fQW3k6wvxEM

Just looked him up, only 21 goals in 79 games his last two seasons. That's like 10 goals a season.

Doesn't seem that good to me, although I've not actually seen him play.

Gets a lot of assists. Holds the ball up well. Has an amazing first touch. He's faster than fuck. He can beat a man. He can beat many men. Can play anywhere across the front three. Don't look at his stats. Look at his qualities. He'd be a massive player for us. Very exciting to watch.

http://www.estadiodeportivo.com/sevilla/2017/06/30/everton-interpone-sevila-muriel/110412.html

Reports in Spain suggesting we may be trying to beat Sevilla to his signature, as a Rom replacement. 28m euro release clause. The gist is that Sevilla was close to agreeing a deal for 17m euro, but we came in and said we would pay the "big titty money."

It's likely a bullshit story. Good player though!!!

Sessegnon signed a 5 year contract yesterday or the day before.

True story. Let's buy him next summer ?

Didn't he say yesterday or so he had no idea about any of Reals interest?

Yes. That's all that's come from Madrid. I think people have reading comprehension issues.

http://talksport.com/football/stuart-pearce-tells-talksport-he-would-be-astounded-if-michael-keane-joined-everton-ahead

Pearce is an absolute twat.

Wooooohoooooo!

brb... heading to Twitter for the WHam and Arsenal supporter meltdowns....

He'll be on the bench for most of the season if he has signed, can't see him getting on ahead of Morgan, Gueye, or Klaasen.

Can't see him playing in any other position.

I think it's more likely that Klassen plays the box-to-box role Davies has been playing, while Ross remains out on the right of a front three. Barkley won't be competing with Schneiderlin or Gueye. He will be competing with attacking players and our box-to-box midfielders.

?

You shouldn't be saying things like that Joe, everybody keeps telling us it's a done deal.

 

I think this one is pretty certain. .

Bill, I don't know that we're coming at this from the same direction. I'm not fatalistically resigned to believing that Everton will keep fucking up. I think it's a possibility (like there are many possibilities for who we will sign). I won't claim to know. For all I know, the journo apparently quoting a club representative, could be talking out of his ass; or, the quote could be genuine, but it's just smoke and mirrors for them to get more time to get the best deal for them possible. There are a lot of possibilities here. I'm optimistic. But, I just don't trust much in the press when it comes to transfers. It's all "sources say" at this point. And, said sources are often off-base.

So, I'm optimistic, hopeful and even excited. But, I won't believe anything is set in stone until we see him putting pen to paper.

Nothing has yet been agreed.

 

The admins moved the thread to General Everton Discussion. What other proof do you want?

Well, one Mr. Sky Sources said it's happening. That guy is never wrong!

Has the club said anything about this yet? Otherwise, this is still a fucking rumour.

https://twitter.com/hlninengeland/status/879575137422540800

This would be another summer coup (I'm perhaps prematurely assuming Sandro is done and dusted, too). Happy to see us grabbing young talent over clubs like Arsenal (and especially West Ham... 'cause fuck 'em).

I have a feeling he will sign a new contract soon. I just don't see him leaving. I don't know why. But, I've got a feeling.

 

i think he's hilarious. conservatives hate him, they think he's too "wishy washy". he just kinda says whatever he wants (regardless of logic or political history) and goes with it. i think it's comedic.

Haha, I guess so.... if you get your kicks from watching the world burn!

he's a great political pundit for the ny times.

No, he isn't. David Brooks is a neocon dickhead.

https://twitter.com/Everton_Fanly/status/879314722499297280

I, too, turn down jobs that are already too good for me, because I believe I'll get a job that is way too good for me.

 

But you decide to wait patiently, and that wonderful day comes when homework is over and the holidays begin. For weeks, you score more than ever before - but become frustrated at her first touch. Surely, when you score so much, that first touch ought to be priceless! Dejected, you decide the smell of anchovies isn't so bad after all and pick up your phone...

When life hands you anchioves, you make pizza.

...and then you make passionate love to that pizza.

We tell the club and the player to sign or we fook off, Spain have no say in who buys or sells a player, that's just ridiculous.

 

Deluded or not It must be the player that's holding it up, i don't think Malaga have a transfer embargo, so Spain have no jurisdiction. Can't believe people can't see this.

It's not about jurisdiction, it's about a basic level of respect.

Think about it this way: You're 16 years old. Sandro is a really pretty girl in your class that you (and a lot of other guys want to date). She's newly single and, frankly, a fair deal prettier than most of the other girls you've dated. You asked her out and she said yes. You're so hot for her that you want to go out tonight (you've been pounding your pud for months just thinking about all the things you would do with her). Tonight is Tuesday. Problem is, her parents won't let her go out on school nights. They would like her to concentrate on her studies, and it's a big deal to her, too. So what do you do? You've suggested walking in and telling her parents "Fuck off! She's coming with me!" So, you grab her by her hair and start pulling her out of the house, but she, too, wants to study. So, she stops you and asks that you wait until the weekend. You tell her to fuck off and make your way out of the house. You spend the night jerking off alone. You also spend every other night jerking off alone, because she decided that you might not be the guy she thought you were. Eventually, you do find another girl to agree to date you, but she has a lazy eye, her breath smells like anchiovies, and she's always trying to make you listen to Harry Styles in the car. You ended up with this, because you couldn't maintain a basic level of respect or a modicum of decorum, acting like a caveman, instead. Meanwhile, that girl you couldn't wait til the weekend for... Well, her boobs got bigger, her butt got tighter, and her skin cleared up. She's now so far out of your league it makes you angry. So, you go home every night, alone, finding all the ways you can to inflict punishment on your sad, sad wiener.

Why does it matter if this is announced today or in a week? Why should Everton "bully" the Spanish FA (causing a potentially huge issue) just to appease impatient fans? How would that be good for the club or for the player?

I think Spain are asking Everton not to announce anything as it might distract the player. Thats all.

That's what it seems like. I suggested as much several days ago. The response was, "Well, it didn't make a difference for Pickford." ?