Cake

As long as he can keep his nose clean (!) and every woman in Reading looks like a Russian shot putter he'll do alright and might just bag you those 15 goals promised. You're in for some entertainment, one way or another.

Get a job! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-22999367

I had a guess at that one and chose The Fire Sermon as I liked the sound of it. I wouldn't have been there, anyway, as checked some I was unsure of after submitting my answers and wouldn't have got past £64,000 - Pan is right but I thought Pan had something to do with music so I chose Diana as she definitely had something to do with animals, though not flocks and herds.

Condescending bullshit from the Spaniards. Pedro; "Tahiti will do everything they can to frustrate us," he said. "It's an important game, and we must respect our opponents. We must also make sure we don't take victory as a given, or think too much about the number of goals we might score." No, he can't come out and say; "We expect we will win 12-0" but if there is nothing to say then say nothing. I won't be watching. Spain are boring.

Worth a try. Spoke to a Birmingham City fan who says Redmond very good all round, good pace, excellent work rate, excellent crosser, chips in with his share of goals. Most would be sorry to see him leave there.

Those of you interested in The Sopranos might be interested in this. He's dead. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22980414

£100 Which vehicles compete in the annual Tour De France ? C - Bicycles £200 In the X - Files, what is Agent Mulder's first name ? A - Fox £300 Who won the 1967 Eurovision Song Contest with 'Puppet on a String' ? d - Sandie Shaw £500 What was the nickname of Peter Jenkins in Grange Hill ? c - Tucker £1000 Which singer is famously known as the 'Man in Black' c - Johnny Cash £2000 On which river does the city of Vienna stand ? a - Danube £4000 Which city hosted the summer olympic games in 1908 and 1948 ? d - London £8000 From which plant is the heart-drug digitalis obtained ? a - Foxglove £16,000 Who became queen of The Netherlands in 1980 ? c - Beatrix £32,000 Which of these measurements of unit is the largest ? c - Bushel £64,000 What is the literal translation of the Stegosaurus dinosaur ? b - Roof Lizard £125,000 In Greek Mythology, who was the god of flocks and herds ? a - Diana £250,000 Who was awarded the nobel peace prize in 1979 ? d - Mother Teresa of Calcutta £500,000 Which of these geological periods came first ? a - Cretaceous £1,000,000 What is the title of the third part of T.S. Eliot's poem 'The waste land' ? d - The Fire Sermon

I don't think there will be many, or any, surprises. A few will flatter to deceive, early on, such as West Brom, as usual, and Sunderland before their regular awful last 25 games and either Hull or Cardiff will start like heroes before fading fast. I hope Villa go down, disappear into obscurity, taking Newcastle with them and both grounds are demolished to make way for new Aldi supermarkets or Tesco Expresses, I'm not really bothered which, or turn one into a drop in centre for deluded gobshites and the other into a drop in centre for deluded gobshites. I expect Crystal Palace to go down.

Fer has been compared with Patrick Viera. I hope he turns out to be better than Alex Nyarko, who was also compared with Viera. I think Nyarko's finest moment was at Arsenal, away.........

I think Ofoe was denied a work permit?

Tough run in again (though got to play them sometime) - Arsenal, Utd & City in last 6 games (though all at home) - Sunderland, Southampton & Hull (last game) the other 3 away. Tough.

I hope it is just paper talk and that Baines stays but if Moyes offers enough for him I suppose everybody has their price.

Happy to play them anytime, too. They're just another team in the league, to me. An irrelevance. Like a needy dog constantly requiring attention. I dislike Aston Villa, Chelsea and Newcastle more than I do them and I want to beat every team in the PL as much as I want to beat them.

42 minutes..... and counting

BBC Sport this morning: Everton are in talks with Granada to sign Brazilian left-back Guilherme Siqueira, 27. Full story: Daily Mail http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2343860/Everton-interested-signing-Guilherme-Sigueira.html If it happens let's hope he's not another Kroldrup (Udinese).

Nothing graphic... like someone getting run over by a narrowboat!?

Buy them from the supermarket pharmacy - supermarket own packaging - just on shelf for you to serve yourself and pay at checkout. Quarter of the price of branded Loratadine for twice as many per box. March-September for me (depending on how mild Spring is). Atishoo! Bless me!

Alan Shearer

Murray v Tsonga at Queens - waiting for Brazil v Japan - a reminder that two weeks worth of condescending snobbery and felching, masquerading as some sort of racquet sport, is on the horizon....

They don't look big enough to hold 31+ people safely. Overloaded (though the first to sink was empty)? Totally agree with scrapping them now, although the Mayor wants to see if anyone is dead from this latest accident before making a decision. Calling your narrowboat Predator is a bit much,too - and there's at least 3 of them.

Yes. Villa. From what I remember of him, give him the ball when he was standing still and he would look around like he had never seen one before but play into his path as he was moving he was brilliant. Scored a screamer at Goodison?

6pm film (Fast & Furious 6, for what it's worth) - in there at 5.40, 15 minutes waiting to pay for a bag of dried up pick & mix while two nauseatingly pretentious little runts ordered extra sauce and Oreo on their Ben & Jerry's while Pops waited in the wings with his coat over his arm in a very studious fashion to then be told at 5.55 as we tendered our tickets "Screen 3 is just being cleaned" (I resisted the temptation to ask if the seats were, too) and when we were allowed in just after 6 we were told we "are in the blue seats this evening, Sir, in the front half". It was pitch frigging black in there!! They all looked blue and 8 people in an approximate 400 seat auditorium is hardly going to cause seating wars now is it!! Seen above post about Odeon. This was an Odeon. Dated doesn't even come close and to be charged £16.40 for two 'standard' tickets and £5.29 for the piss pick & mix and to be asked by the greasy skinned, slack-jawed troll on the pick & mix/Ben & Jerry's counter to rate the service we had received online made the whole experience a bit surreal. Some of the action scenes in the film were good and Vin & Dwayne being rock hard blokey type manly strong but silent men type blokes was fun and my wife got her quota of eye candy from Vin and Paul Walker so all was not lost. Showcase roolz!

£8.20 for a flea-ridden seat in the cinema. £8 frigging 20!!

He got 4 in 27 games : 14 starts, 13 as sub - 3 in 21 in the league (10 starts 11 as sub), 1 in 4 in the FA Cup (2 starts, 2sub), 0 in 2 in the League Cup (2 starts). He'll be lucky to hit double figures, in any league, but he's not regarded as a striker as mentioned above so I wouldn't be expecting that from him for that reason and also because of his goalscoring record

He probably will..... if he stays there for 9 years!!!