Cornish Steve

I don't watch MOTD (presumably the government believes all Everton fans live in Britain); I have no idea who a couple of people are on that list; these days, I am pragmatic on politics, supporting some left and some right positions; ... What a load of old cobblers.

Daniel Sturridge is simply a Denaturised Girl who is now Derailed, Rusting.

I have six children, so maybe that explains why I live in a permanent state of confusion.

I thought the reason he was loaned out is because he could not get the visa required to play in Britain. Was that fixed?

Training methods at the England camp? Roy Hodgson was only too quick to blame the number of games Everton have played recently. No matter what, though, it definitely sounds like a short-term and not a long-term injury.

And they did it. Extraordinary. One of the biggest upsets in recent times.

We're a little over an hour's drive from Tennessee, perhaps the most musical state in the nation, from where the following news story emerged. A local resident with the auspicious name Glenn Miller (and too much money, it seems) spent over $800 on a pair of individually-tailored soft leather shoes. The high price was in part due to the local store using an emerging technology that uses X-rays to map precisely the contours of each foot and hence to determine how best to customize the size and shape of each shoe. Glenn, apparently, was delighted with his new shoes and decided to show them off: He put them on display in his house and invited around several neighbours and friends. Someone obviously left the front door open and, while guests cracked podiatric jokes over a few too many glasses of wine, a playful young tabby entered the house, made a bee-line for the new shoes (some lingering smell from the manufacturing process must have attracted it), and began to feast on them. By the time one of the guests noticed what was happening, the cat was already running out of the house. Glenn's new shoes, of course, were pretty much ruined, and certainly not in any fit shape to wear. It looked to all as if $800 had just been flushed down the toilet. Glenn thought he recognized the tabby and, since the US is a rather litigious society, decided to hunt it down and trace the owner (most pets these days are fitted with identity chips for just that purpose). His visiting neighbours and friends joined in the search, and soon all you could hear in the vicinity was "here, kitty kitty." It became such an odd spectacle that a passer-by decided to call the police. They arrived in short order, learned quickly of the situation, and (after a few stifled chuckles) joined the search for the dastardly feline: "hear, kitty kitty." Given the professionalism and efficiency of the law enforcement officials, due in no small part to the fact that a local news crew, with cameras, had appeared on the scene, it took them only a few minutes to bring the search to a seemingly successful conclusion. Following a brief scuffle and some loud squeals, a uniformed officer gave a shout and lifted a guilty-looking tabby into the air. It was then that he turned to Glenn Miller and sang the immortal line: "Pardon me, sir. Is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"

Do they taste like chicken?

Honestly, it has to be rather boring to watch your team win every game every time (which has been pretty much the case over the last 2-1/2 years). Of course we like to win, but it's so much more exciting to follow a team when (i) you're not expected to win and (ii) most games are well-balanced. Would we prefer that Everton win every game by playing in Division 2 or that we win some and lose some in the Premier League?

Check again in a few months' time. Things may look a little different by then.

Hence the

Ah, but Lukaku was a close second.

My grandad was a very cruel man. This was always a puzzle because his many brothers and sisters were all wonderful people. No doubt he was the anomaly because of his experiences in WW-I. How do you react when all that's visible between you and the enemy lines are bits of tree covered with bits of human bodies? I remember once that the children who lived next door let their rabbit out to play, and it escaped into grandad's garden to eat his lettuces. He caught it, wrung its neck, and threw it over the wall for the children to find. There's no excuse for that, and no excuse for the many other cruel things he did, but, looking back, I can partly understand the reason why. The war, and those who fought in it, must have completely changed everything - not just then but for the next two generations.

I didn't realize this until recently, but this was about the average height of women prior to 1900. My own mother, born and raised in extreme poverty, was likewise very short. The reason, of course, was the same: poor nutrition as a child.

I was driving in Virginia and listening to the game via the radio option at the evertonfc website. The commentators gave MOTM to Lukaku, which I should have explained.

Introduced as the new manager of Real Sociedad, David Moyes boldly claimed that La Liga is much better than the Premier League. So that's another bridge he's burned behind him! http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/30045838

My grandfather recorded many of his WW-I experiences on cassette tape, and they make fascinating listening. Social pressure in Britain pretty much forcing teenagers to sign up under age and the army telling them to lie about their age Seeing farmers in France riding in vehicles powered by one or two dogs running in wheels, rather like hamsters Being surprised that French men and women in every village urinated in public Having donkeys pull all the big guns up hills Watching an impressive cavalry attack halted almost instantly by German machine gun fire Men being forced to drink a tablespoon of brandy a few minutes before going over the top at the Battle of the Somme Any man who didn't leave the trenches and run to the German lines was shot there and then The sergeant major who gave the order later being found drunk from finishing off the same brandy (and not going over the top) Lying in a crater with two dying men as Germans were close enough to hear them talking Being only one of a handful from the unit that survived that failed attack at the Somme Having to use mirrors to view the German lines, with the Germans using them as target practice Preferring to face the Saxons since they were quiet - only to have upper-class officers insist they fire on them Watching rats climb in and out of dead bodies in the trenches or uncovered during bombing

http://www.toffeetalk.com/index.php?/topic/26737-the-vaults/?p=434984

Have you read Massie's 'Dreadnought'? It's great reading.

Father Christmas is all smoke and mirrors????!!!

I couldn't stand it, but my dad would be glued. He'd laugh every time that an opponent went for Mick McManus' cauliflower ears.

Immaturity showing. You don't quote your boss' private words to the press, especially when it's likely to upset your teammates.

You mean how Lukaku was MOTM against Lille despite scoring no goals!

Bong. TT Law strikes again.

Godwin's Law: "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1" ToffeeTalk Law: "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of "Lukaku is shit" being mentioned approaches 1"