Zoo

I'm so glad ToffeeTalk isn't like that forum, I hate the fact that;
 
1 - The layout on there is messy as fuck.
2 - Th*s f*ck*ng sh*t. Everywhere!
3 - Fucking adverts.
4 - The members have avatars of Justin Bieber.
5 - Some members feel the need to 'make themselves noticed' by making posts in strange fonts and colours LIKE THIS!

What cunts.

All he needs to do now is turn up to the next game in a Portsmouth tracksuit, it looks like this is a farce before its even began.

Foot in the door IMO, move to Stoke for 1-2 years then off to a decent club.

Isn't he a cunt though?

I'm only 19, so I've no idea about booking etc... but as for what to bring all you need is yourself and your ticket. You can get food and drink around and inside the ground and can buy merchandise from the store just across the road. As for where to park there are many places to leave the car, I don't know the specific locations but I think you'll be paying in the area of £5-£10 (we pay £5) on a leisure centre about a half mile from the ground, most of the members here are season ticket holders so they'll tell you exactly where you can go.
 
Hope you enjoy it .

A little late aren't you?

In a recent online survey, 90% of men admitted to masturbating regularly.
 
The other 10% hit the wrong button with their left hand.
 
 
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Kevin-Prince Boateng has kicked a ball at a section of the AC Milan crowd because they were racially abusing him.
 
It's a good job Robin Van Persie wasn't in the crowd, he could have been killed.

Prematch rotines?
 
12:30pm, we'll all congregate down aisle 31 of the local Asda looking for the cheapest case of beer we can find. There's no point going earlier as the Fantasy Footy team has to be picked before 11.30 and if we don't get the super 6 predictions in before kick off we might kick ourselves.
 
At the till, we'll normally eye the bird up on the checkout and see what she's doing after the match, just incase the lads need a curry making like, or there's tidying up to do, and then we'll stock up on the fags n a few scratch cards just in case we win, in which case we'll nip back in and get one of them big screen tellies like from the back.
 
Then we'll normally sing a few songs on the way to Big Bazzers house, you know the sort of thing, 'Pet shop boys' is right popular at the mo, but the high bits have us coughin a bit. We normally have a quick check in the lecky cupboard as we knock, as the tight c*nts always on his last pound, and then it's a mad race for the single seater, as the sofa's got it's middle cushion missing.
 
This is normally the time we're all at our most nervous. The tension builds as the fat fucker turns his computer on, and we all sit waiting as his Windows 93 takes all fuckin afternoon to boot up. Once we get up and running, a quick Google for the local Kebab house is the norm, followed by a quick stock take on the beer, as Tezza normally snides a few in the bog when no buggers looking.
 
Next, it's normally a very strict procedure like:
 
Sopcast - check ; Veetle - check; Sound - check; bog roll - check; half time porno - check; Kenwright Voodoo doll - check.
 
Then, "bing bong", it's the delivery lad from the Kebab shop. Everyone chips in except Big Bazzer, which is a bit of a cheek like, as you wanna see the fat fucker eat, but it's his gaff, so no groans. We normally give him a couple of bent twenties and tell him to keep the change, and then it's countdown to kick off.
 
We boot Chezzer off Toffeetalk, and it's show time. Find match, Bloodzeed a go go, and then the whistle blows. You can hear a pin drop. Then some soft c*nt turns the volume up, an it's just like a real game. Infact, if you squint yer eyes a bit you can just about pretend your there.
 
Half time's where it's at like. No queueing for pizza. 2nd crate of Stella cracked open, and a spliff in the ash tray. That daft tw@t Gary Neville starts on about how Suarez is a dirty rotten bastard an before ye can say "You're spot on Gary" Bazzers got the smut show on with a few phone cam vids of him and his tart in a Skegness back alley. Fuck me, she looks like a Blob fish with zits, so it's quite a relief when the second half starts.
 
Match ends, and we've fuckin drawn abastardgain.
 
While there's still a bit of lecky left, we normally jump onto the Everton forum. Normally starts with "Just got back from ythe match" before tellin Moyes exactly where he went wrong, and moanin that we've not signed no fucker.
 
All a case of how long the beer lasts then, before lookin out the window to see if the Asda birds turned up.
 
It's not like that every week mind. Sometimes we're skint, and it's a case of staying in and putting the radio on in the shed, but all in all, we're proper fans us, n don't you Brentford boo boys forget it.

The one red shite at Stoke I didn't name .

Yeah, I signed up to this forum as 'dark' and came back after a short break with a new username (Zoo).

They'll only be content when we've all stopped posting mate.

Ha ha. That's whats wrong with these crazy names.

Woops, meant to say free-kick!

It kinda defeats the object of the quiz when you Google the answers...

Your gears seem quite knackered.
 
Have you tried using lube?

Gomez & Balotelli are right GR!
 
Dzagoev & Mandzukic are right pete0!

Way to ruin the mood Zoo

Leighton Baggins of the shire.

Muscles, Oysters, Prawns.
 
Anything like that shoulden't be eaten. It's not normal.

Nakata is the Bolton one, was meant to be class. No idea who the Spurs player is.

Was one at Bolton I'm sure, for the life of me I ain't going to look an thing up just yet. All at sea on this one though...............

Chelsea 8 Villa 0 .
 
Liverpool losing at home to Villa put in perspective .

Kagawa is the only one i can think of..

So God isn't so great !
 
But who gives a shit ?

Duffy on for Ani