Zoo 2.0

Not happy in the slightest. Bill still with his claws firmly in Everton - absolute cunt.

Like Scott Carson at City this, Lonergan is going to be on absolute peanuts so I don't mind him getting a new deal. The only way I'd want him to go was if we were going to be keeping João Virginia around.

Just signed for Standard Liege.

Haven't they committed to spending most of the promotion money on bringing the stadium up to scratch?

I can see Baxendale going, wouldn't be surprised if Sharp is removed too. I'd be absolutely amazed if Kenwright went though as he seems to have his claws deep in the club. Amazes me how someone can be so hated and just sit on it. If I were in his position I'd be off sharpish, I don't know why he puts himself through it.

Yeah I've been thinking this a lot as everyone seems to be throwing his name about. He'd do well in a team where he can be carried, as he doesn't do much from open play yet pops up with worldies from set pieces.

What I love about Tarkowski is that he's always right there in the thick of it. As soon as the whistle blew whilst Solanke was dry humping Pickford he was straight over there, shoved him out of the way and then had a good chuckle as the Bournemouth players tried to get their handbags out. He's a proper shithouse but that's exactly what every team needs, someone who will get right in the thick of it and have everyone's backs. It's early days as he's been with us a year (and has been part of a proper shite season) but he could move towards captain material if he carries on in this ilk.

Pretty sure I saw reports of £60-70m for Onana which would be too much to turn down for me. I must stress that I really like him though, so would have no problems keeping him around if an offer like that didn't come around. I understand the numbers to bring in are high already, but I'm sick of these relegation fights and whereas the board are the majority of the problem, keeping around players that aren't good enough (of which I'll include Mykolenko and potentially Simms) is no longer acceptable for me. Without sounding all Football Manager, do we use Simms to bring the price down for the Coventry lad perhaps? Do we sell Mykolenko to generate funds to sign an actual left back? I said it in January and I'll say it now, I'd snap Villa's hand off for Digne back.

In squad number order (Keep): Goalkeepers: Pickford, Begovic, Lonergan Defenders: Tarkowski, Patterson, Godfrey, Coady, Branthwaite Midfielders: McNeil, Gray, Doucoure, Iwobi, Gueye, Garner Strikers: DCL In squad number order (Sell/Release): Holgate - Not good enough, horrendous attitude. Keane - Actually stepped up to the plate under Dyche but is still below the standard we need. Makes me nervous as he's always on the cusp of dropping a clanger. Onana - I'm actually a fan of him, which I know puts me in the minority. For the amount of money that's being talked about I'd let him go though as it would go a long way to replacing the amount of dross I want us to move on. Mina - All the best you mad bastard. Townsend - Not his fault that injuries have fucked up his season but I think he was on the verge of not being good enough for us before the knock. I don't think he'll come back and pull up any trees so would be happy to move on, even if that's us doing it on the cheap to free up wages. Mykolenko - I really don't think he's good enough. Always looks nervous as fuck IMO and has a bit of a wobble in him defensively. Offers very little going forward too which is noticed more when we've been used to Baines and Digne doing just that - hoping we can convince someone on the continent to take him. Maupay - One of the worst strikers we've ever had. Coleman - Let him retire and move to the coaching staff if need be. Sentiment aside he's probably been past it for two years now and this latest injury won't have helped matters. Davies - Shite. Simms - Nothing against the lad, but if we can get a few quid from a Championship side to give us funds to sign an actual striker then I'll be happy seeing him go. I can't see him suddenly being ready to play 30 games next season which is exactly what we need.

All of them.

Mental to think his 99th minute equaliser the other day had a massive part in keeping us up. He was a fucking rock today too, goes will all my best.

That was fucking horrible. Like, really fucking horrible.

Is it full time yet? Fans doing their bit though, could hear The Brick from the turnstiles. Fantastic effort by no surprise.

On the way to L4. Football's proper shit ain't it

Pretty much as above, Yerry is our best centre back when fit but he just struggles to do so. If he could give us 30 games a season he would be fantastic, knowing our luck he'll go elsewhere and not miss a game . Hope he goes out with a bang today and will be remembered as scoring the goal against Wolves that could literally have kept us up.

I've been confident all week, then last night I absolutely started to shit myself. From a neutral point of view obviously we're going to win comfortably and stay in the league, but watching these idiots every week has me thinking that there's a good chance we could bottle this. Especially if we don't score with an hour on the clock or worse, Bournemouth take an early lead. The neutral and sane voice in my head is saying we'll win (and win well) but I'm absolutely terrified.

Hi mate yeah definitely I'll be at Evertonians Anonymous an hour before to get everything off my chest. See you there.

Absolutely nothing to celebrate, we're only not down because there's other teams somehow more dreadful than us. A magic wand won't be waved in the summer, we'll be back here in 12 months time.

At first I thought that the draw didn't change much, but if Leeds don't win this weekend then they will need to win, a draw won't be good enough. Massive mental blow to them, I think Mina's goal puts Leicester down.

This whole supporting everyone else in the league is fun but it's costing me a fucking fortune in football shirts.

I think Guardiola has learned his lesson, if he tinkers too much they'll bottle it but if they just keep it simple they'll walk it. I want Inter to win, even though I love Pep but think that given how they've steamrolled Madrid will walk it in the final.

Thanks for saving me the time in posting - this. I go the game to spend time with my old man. My love for Everton has been killed by both our board and the direction to sport is rapidly heading to.

Applauding a 0-3 loss at home is exactly the piss poor standards that have allowed us to get into this mess. I'm not suggesting that the players should have been booed off, but the party atmosphere at the end was bizarre for me. It wasn't that long ago that we had a decent record against City, yet now there's a total gulf in class and we're being twatted with them in first gear. Up until the first goal we played well, but to concede so quickly after the first (regardless of opposition) was piss poor. Sunday League defending brings the lad down for Gundogan's free-kick and from the third goal we were just chasing shadows.

I don't think DCL has an issue at all, the game was lost at 2-0 so pointless losing our only striker when we've got Wolves and Southampton coming on. My only issue was bringing on Maupay rather than Simms, cancelling Cannon's loan at short notice or simply substituting on an empty Quavers packet. The lad is on the beach, and even when he wasn't on the beach was fucking gash. It's a genuine toss up as to who I'd rather have; Maupay or Rondon.

He's a Championship player, when he first signed I believed there was a lot of potential but he's just never reached the level that we (or anyone else in the league) needs. His attitude, whether on purpose or not comes off really poorly. It's one thing having arrogance with a bucket load of talent but it's another to simply be filled with self importance. He didn't look particularly arsed about coming off either and whilst I thought the boos were a bit over the top, I'd be happy knowing that today was the last I'll see of him in an Everton shirt.