Zoo 2.0

Given that a few English fringe talents have done very well in Germany, I wouldn't be at all surprised to see Jonjoe do well with Hertha too. I thought it was Berlin that he was at before, but then remembered it was actually Schalke. I've said from the beginning that I'd like us to move Kenny on, but there's no malice. I hope he absolutely smashes it out there in Germany and really finds himself a key player in their outfit.

Watford were in the Premier League last season, when they had Stake as their sponsor .

Not that arsed about it being a betting company to be honest, I wouldn't have bought a car off Cazoo, wouldn't go out of my way to buy a Chang in a bar and certainly won't be gambling because we have Stake on our shirt. What has annoyed me is that Watford's shirts (who had Stake last year) looked laughably garbage as the logo took up most of the chest, which makes me think that the new shirt regardless of design will look absolutely gash. Agree with those above though about how we took the moral high ground with SportPesa, yet get into bed with a carbon copy a few years later - yet more incompetence from what is a board making themselves look more and more inept by the day. Wouldn't surprise me if we announced a new sleeve sponsor with the Russian Missile Corporation.

Fair does to him for releasing a statement, but the time for words has long passed - action is needed. If I was 100% against our board the statement released moves me to perhaps 90%. They are still clueless, inept, reactionary and damaging this football club with each day they're in post. Will things change? Probably not, but it doesn't look as though Moshiri is going anytime soon so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt throughout summer and into the start of next season to get the house in order. I'm sure it's not me that has 100% faith in Lampard, and Lampard alone to turn the ship around - BK and the rest will have little to no input, yet will no doubt be on the big screen if we're smashing teams 5-0 at Goodison.

Fuck that.

Messi, Ronaldo & Mbappe - any order.

Would have maybe said yes a year ago, but didn't he struggle to get into a Norwich team that would have struggled to put away the Dog & Duck Pub? If Lampard really wants him (as he'll know all about him) then I suppose I can understand it, but it's hardly an exciting signing IMO. Would much prefer Connor Gallagher who actually pulled up a few trees at Crystal Palace.

Bringing that name up should get you an instant six month suspension from here.

On £30,000 the argument could be made that the player in question would be more willing to graft for their money, perhaps to earn a bigger contract in the future. Giving someone £100,000 could potentially make them numb to their on field performances, due to the fact that they're guaranteed a bumper wage anyway.

I'd rather have a Chang in a plastic cup than sign Jesse Lingard.

The absolute fuck . I wouldn't be too happy with a one year extension, but three is just letting deadwood stay for the fun of it. Had he come from anywhere other than our own academy, he would have been gone a while ago. Fully expect Delph to get a five year deal too now, because why not?

A mate at my old work said that we signed the wrong Burnley defender when we bought Michael Keane, he absolutely adored Tarkowski (as he was a STH at Turf Moor). I'll be honest I'm open to this signing, I just worry about the wages being mentioned because they're fucking insane.

Will no doubt have picked up some valuable wisdom from his Dad, it's a yes from me.

I had no idea he was still 26, seems to have been around for absolutely ages this lad. Would have honestly said he was about 31-32. Looks as though he's joining Spurs on a two-year loan deal though, it's all over the news. How dare you criticise my boy Geri, still breaks my heart it didn't work out with him.

This to be honest, I've always been amazed that he's managed to last so long at Manchester City because he's always looked absolutely shite at left-back, although I know that Ukraine play him in the midfield and he always seems to get brought up when his country plays - so perhaps not the worst deal of all time if the idea is to stick him in the middle of the park. Without going properly out there and getting ahead of myself, maybe not a bad option if he can form a partnership with Mykolenko and slot into left-back when Myko bursts forward, yet stick in the middle when we haven't got the ball.

The fact that F1 cars are somehow now allergic to wet weather is a real buzzkill, I was really excited for the race to see how the drivers would handle both Monaco and rain, but the insane safety measures that seem to be in play now stopped any hope of that. Monaco in the dry is nice for 5 laps or so, but is just so boring for an extended period of time. The only drama that ever happens is in the pitstops, of which that's lost its magic.

Agent Rafa Agent Carlo

I think plastic surgery is the least of our worries at the moment mate.

Gabriel Jesus is one of the worst players I've seen, unbelievable that he's managed to fraud his way through City for so long.

Due to my age, my first memories of Leeds are the unbelievable Champions League squad they had (and then the subsequent downfall). I don't mind them at all, but am well aware of their history and why they're so hated. I'd probably prefer Leeds to stay as they offer more to the league than Burnley do, but wouldn't shed a tear for them if they dropped (which I think they will). Burnley I guess would be the best team to stay for Everton too, they're always going to be a turd that doesn't flush, especially with the owners they have.

If there is a points deduction, it'll more than likely be next season rather than this anyway. I don't think it'll happen though, as the talk has been that the board have been working with the Premier League to ensure that we do comply with FFP, so it's a bit of a non-story IMO (so far).

Simon Jordan is great, but from being a regular on TalkSport he's slipped into the trap of wanting to appear controversial on every subject and as a result comes out with shite like this from time to time.