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What Grinds Your Gears...


Matt

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Wife has just gone to bed in a huff, "if you don't know why then you need to think about it!" apparently.

 

I haven't got the vaguest idea :dont know:. Birthday and anniversary both accounted for, transferred some money to one of the skint daughters like she asked, cooked tea, did the washing up. Not a clue.

 

What planet are they from again?

So what was it then?

 

If it's anything like my wife it'll be all her own doing but entirely my fault even though it didn't involve me.

 

Absolute lunatics. All the same with different names.

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So what was it then?

 

If it's anything like my wife it'll be all her own doing but entirely my fault even though it didn't involve me.

 

Absolute lunatics. All the same with different names.

 

Not a clue mate, all was fine the following morning. Suspect you have it right in the second line :dont know: .

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Not a clue mate, all was fine the following morning. Suspect you have it right in the second line :dont know: .

:lol: stange creatures aren't yhey.

 

Here's an example of mines madness...

 

Rare Sunday off together today and both kids at a party all day. We have just had all downstairs decorated, new floors etc so the pair of us decide to do a kind of spring clean today while we have the chance.

 

She sprays the oven with Mr Muscle iven cleaner leaves it and potters off, I'm under orders to clean the cupboard where the hoover goes, coats hang up in the hall. I've pulled everything out, I've cleaned it hoovered all the cobwebs behind the gas meter in the corner and thrown a load of shite away. She then says " that foams drying, We have no rubber gloves would you scrub and steam the oven" I says "yep no worries,I'll just finish this cupboard (all the jackets, tracky tops etc are on the couch waiting to be hung back up) she says "but the foams drying on that oven can you just sort that first before it's hard to get off" so I goes and does the oven...

 

5 minutes later, I shit you not she comes inthe kitchen snd says "you need to stop doing half a job you know, I'll hang these up shall I"

 

I felt like putting my (or her)head in the oven.

 

Absolute gods honest true story from today.

 

Fucking barmy mate, absolute lunatic. :/

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:lol: stange creatures aren't yhey.

Here's an example of mines madness...

Rare Sunday off together today and both kids at a party all day. We have just had all downstairs decorated, new floors etc so the pair of us decide to do a kind of spring clean today while we have the chance.

She sprays the oven with Mr Muscle iven cleaner leaves it and potters off, I'm under orders to clean the cupboard where the hoover goes, coats hang up in the hall. I've pulled everything out, I've cleaned it hoovered all the cobwebs behind the gas meter in the corner and thrown a load of shite away. She then says " that foams drying, We have no rubber gloves would you scrub and steam the oven" I says "yep no worries,I'll just finish this cupboard (all the jackets, tracky tops etc are on the couch waiting to be hung back up) she says "but the foams drying on that oven can you just sort that first before it's hard to get off" so I goes and does the oven...

5 minutes later, I shit you not she comes inthe kitchen snd says "you need to stop doing half a job you know, I'll hang these up shall I"

I felt like putting my (or her)head in the oven.

Absolute gods honest true story from today.

Fucking barmy mate, absolute lunatic. :/

Quality.

 

Taking mine off to spend a couple of days with her dad tomorrow so a small window of sanity to look forward to!

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Remember my ex asking me to take her to the flicks for a film she wanted to see. On the way out she turned to me and said "Why did you take me to see that ;load of shite?"

 

Never will understand them :dont know:

 

Yeah Rubes but that was when you saw "Emanuelle meets the Wife Swappers" on screen two after "Love Actually" was sold out (because you bought up all the empty seats online) so she had a point :P.

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:lol:

Jammy bastard :P

Loud music all day, currently David Gilmour's self titled solo album. Brilliant, I'd almost forgotten how good my CD system is having been reduced to iTunes most of the time. Neighbour will be well pissed off but she's a right sad cow so all the better!

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Loud music all day, currently David Gilmour's self titled solo album. Brilliant, I'd almost forgotten how good my CD system is having been reduced to iTunes most of the time. Neighbour will be well pissed off but she's a right sad cow so all the better!

 

Didn't know you lived next door. :rofl:

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  • 1 month later...

In the Pinkneys Green area of Maidenhead, where I live, they have been replacing all the gas mains and the connections to the meters in each house. After a year, they finally reached our road this week. My house has an extension and they found that they couldn't use the route taken by the old pipes to lay the new pipes. I was worried that they may have to dig up the drive which I had block paved at much expense. Instead, they dug a trench across my front lawn to gain access at the other side of the house. They also found a minor leak in the gas hob on the cooker which needs to be replaced. They have given ustwo electric hot plates so we can do some cooking. They were supposed to finish today but they are coming back tomorrow. The guy next door has got bigger problems than us and he is in a bit of a panic as he's just had a new kitchen fitted and he went white when I told him that they were drilling holes in my walls. At least its a nice sunny day. Elsewhere in Pinkneys Green the work was being done throughout the winter.

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Having talked the wife down from eight pairs of shoes to five while packing, she then a few days ago spends €24 on a pair which are somehow different and essential :mellow:. Then, today after saying she has to buy another pair as a present to take back for one of the girls, she spots another pair that she couldn't buy anywhere else in the world (€19) so tries one on and has to have them. We get back to the apartment, this was all in the main town 12km or so away, and she's got a size six for one foot and a size four for the other, so we have to go back tomorrow.

 

What is it with women and shoes? I've got a pair of converse that I wore here and a pair of sandals that I live in. Simple.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Early alarms that you can't ignore (flying home in a couple of hours) after a late session in the local bar. Was sat talking to the German/Italian chef from Spain 'til daft o'clock and drinking far too much. Last day though so what the hell.

 

Hurts at the moment though.

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Delayed signal too?

 

Delayed everything today.

 

Up at 5.30 UK time with hangover after four/five hours sleep, picked up at 7.30 for airport. At the airport the flight was delayed (did I mention that?) by an hour and a half, not too bad really. Then as we're approaching Gatwick the pilot comes on and says we're landing at the south terminal instead of the north, which was a bit of a pain because we didn't know where the bus stop was there to get to our car park. So we land, wife goes straight out for urgent ciggie while I wait for the bag, saying she'll be right by exit.

 

Wait for about forty-five minutes with no luggage carousel announced for our flight so finally I go to "luggage help-desk" where first guy tells me that it's not their job, they're just about lost luggage; I began pointing out that my luggage had been lost for nearly an hour when his colleague chips in with the fact that it had all been sent to the north terminal because that's where we were supposed to have landed but it's now on its way back. Half hour later is was so I retrieved it and went to find wife. Nowhere to be found. Search inside and out several times (quite a trek as I didn't have a coin for a trolley so was carrying/pulling two bags). Couldn't contact her as she's a Luddite and has no mobile.

 

Wondering what to do when a call comes on the tannoy, "Could MikeO please proceed to Costa Coffee in the north terminal where his wife is waiting for him."

 

Unamused; if you say you're just nipping out front don't expect my psychic powers to kick in and realise you've changed plan unilaterally. Get to Costa Coffee eventually, wife not there.....because she'd gone out front for another smoke. By this time I was also smoking, through my ears.

 

Finally found her. Because of the long delay (in the south terminal) she'd assumed I'd gone past her and headed north; except I wouldn't do anything so daft if we'd agreed a meeting place (unlike some). Frank exchange of views follows :lol:.

 

So then time is getting on so once we get the car we hit the M25 at 5.30 on the nose. Crawl to M3.

 

Then, due to tiredness/brain fade/age whatever I miss our junction off the M3; I've done that journey a hundred times! Forty miles added to trip.

 

Finally got home at ten, fourteen and a half hours after we left :huh:.

 

Oh, and on the last bit of M5 my mind was floating off somewhere, looked down at speedo and was doing 108mph. Completely oblivious.

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