Longest Thread!

[markjazzbassist]

4 hours ago, Palfy said:

Wouldn’t it be refreshing if our society had a age old tradition of when you got to a certain age you wrote your own obituary like you would a will, that way you may get a more honest assessment of a person if it comes from the horses mouth. 

Now that I’ve just reached the age of sixty I may start having a go at writing mine, I think I would write it the style of a best man speech and try to make it funny and take the piss out of myself, so who ever cared to turn up would hopefully have a laugh. 

Yeah that’s how I want my funeral.  I want it to be a celebration people drinking and laughing and remembering all the funny stuff I did.  

[Matt]

32 minutes ago, markjazzbassist said:

Yeah that’s how I want my funeral.  I want it to be a celebration people drinking and laughing and remembering all the funny stuff I did.  

Me too. Chose “one step beyond” as my goodbye track years ago 

[Ghoat]

6 hours ago, Palfy said:

Wouldn’t it be refreshing if our society had a age old tradition of when you got to a certain age you wrote your own obituary like you would a will, that way you may get a more honest assessment of a person if it comes from the horses mouth. 

Now that I’ve just reached the age of sixty I may start having a go at writing mine, I think I would write it the style of a best man speech and try to make it funny and take the piss out of myself, so who ever cared to turn up would hopefully have a laugh. 

if it's a gathering that's all about me so to speak, make it something I'd want to go to if I wasn't in a box. Decent Dad, husband, kind to old ladies and strangers, years of volunteering in youth soccer leagues fine. But if it's going there, probably shouldn't skip over "usually smuggled liquor into functions inappropriately" and "farted in crowded elevators and then giggled like a school boy"

You know, I have talked about writing mine for years, but I haven't done it, I really should. Funny, irreverent, where people would laugh out loud...with a bit at the end to make sure all those fuckers walk out in tears, bam!

[Palfy]

14 minutes ago, Ghoat said:

if it's a gathering that's all about me so to speak, make it something I'd want to go to if I wasn't in a box. Decent Dad, husband, kind to old ladies and strangers, years of volunteering in youth soccer leagues fine. But if it's going there, probably shouldn't skip over "usually smuggled liquor into functions inappropriately" and "farted in crowded elevators and then giggled like a school boy"

You know, I have talked about writing mine for years, but I haven't done it, I really should. Funny, irreverent, where people would laugh out loud...with a bit at the end to make sure all those fuckers walk out in tears, bam!

Get it written mate sounds like it needs to be heard. 

[MikeO]

Poetry corner; for some reason Monty Python stuff invaded my head-space earlier!

Horace.

Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, 
Horace ate himself one day. 
He didn't stop to say his grace, 
He just sat down and ate his face. 
"We can't have this!" His Dad declared, 
"If that lad's ate, he should be shared." 
But even as they spoke they saw, 
Horace eating more and more: 
First his legs and then his thighs, 
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes... 
"Stop him someone!" Mother cried, 
"Those eyeballs would be better fried!" 
But all to late, for they were gone, 
And he had started on his dong... 
"Oh! foolish child!" the father mourns, 
"You could have deep fried that with prawns, 
Some parsely and some tarter sauce..." 
But H. was on his second course: 
His liver and his lights and lung, 
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue; 
"To think I raised him from the cot, 
And now he's going to scoff the lot!" 
His Mother cried: "What shall we do? 
What's left won't even make a stew..." 
And as she wept her son was seen, 
To eat his head, his heart, his spleen. 
And there he lay, a boy no more, 
Just a stomache, on the floor... 
None the less, since it was his, 
They ate it - that's what haggis is. * 

* No it isn't. Ed. Haggis is a kind of stuffed black pudding eaten 
by the Scots and considered by them to be not only a delicacy but 
fit for human consumption. The minced heart, liver, and lungs of 
a sheep, calf or other animal's inner organs are mixed with 
oatmeal, sealed and boiled in maw in the sheep's intestinal 
stomache-bag and... Excuse me a minute. Ed.

 

Port Shoem 
by The 
Speverent Rooner

I’ve a Gouse and Harden in the country 
An ace I call my plown, 
A treat I can replace to 
When I beed to knee alone. 
Catterfly and butterpillar 
Perch on beefy lough 
And I listen to the dats and cogs 
As they mark and they biaow. 
Yes wature here is nunderful 
There is no weed for nords, 
While silling by my windowflutter 
Biny little tirds.

 

Short Poem
Po.

[Cornish Steve]

Had meetings in Athlone Ireland this week so decided to fly today from Dublin to Newquay (in Cornwall), despite it being a full moon on Friday 13th!. I’ll be flying back to New York on Monday. Looking forward to enjoying Match of the Day tomorrow, which I haven’t seen in many years.

[MikeO]

6 minutes ago, Cornish Steve said:

Had meetings in Athlone Ireland this week so decided to fly today from Dublin to Newquay (in Cornwall), despite it being a full moon on Friday 13th!. I’ll be flying back to New York on Monday. Looking forward to enjoying Match of the Day tomorrow, which I haven’t seen in many years.

Good news that Steve, hope you enjoy your brief visit, shame Everton will be missing due to the Sunday KO though. I saw the dentist today which I knew was a bad idea given the date and sure enough it was a painful one, though had a good outcome.

Be heading away from you tomorrow to drop off my wife in Somerset at her mum's place as she's had a bit of a heart scare before back down for a (precautionary, I'm not worried at all) MRI on Sunday in Exeter.

Oh, and thanks for keeping the Longest Thread going, Brexit was looking like catching it up!

[johnh]

Had a bit of ear trouble (never had it before) on Sunday. Had a busy Monday so went to the Doc's today.  Asked for the duty Doctor (urgent appointments) and expected something tomorrow.  It was 10.30 when I got there and they gave me an 11.00 appointment. The Doc even gave me my flu jab while I was there.    Result!

[markjazzbassist]

12 minutes ago, johnh said:

Had a bit of ear trouble (never had it before) on Sunday. Had a busy Monday so went to the Doc's today.  Asked for the duty Doctor (urgent appointments) and expected something tomorrow.  It was 10.30 when I got there and they gave me an 11.00 appointment. The Doc even gave me my flu jab while I was there.    Result!

i love these little differences of slang.  in the states we call it a flu shot

[Palfy]

4 hours ago, markjazzbassist said:

i love these little differences of slang.  in the states we call it a flu shot

You yanks and your guns

[Cornish Steve]

I got my flu shot a week ago. Not only did our local supermarket offer it for free, but they gave me a $10 certificate to use in the store. 

[markjazzbassist]

3 hours ago, Cornish Steve said:

I got my flu shot a week ago. Not only did our local supermarket offer it for free, but they gave me a $10 certificate to use in the store. 

i would think a man of your intellect would be smart enough to know there is no need for a flu shot.  i never get one and surprise, i never get the flu.  my parents get them and they get the flu yearly.  there is a reason they are maknig incentives for it, its a scam.

[Matt]

5 hours ago, markjazzbassist said:

i would think a man of your intellect would be smart enough to know there is no need for a flu shot.  i never get one and surprise, i never get the flu.  my parents get them and they get the flu yearly.  there is a reason they are maknig incentives for it, its a scam.

Herd immunity? It’s not about protecting you, it’s about protecting others that might not have a strong enough immune system 

[johnh]

There are multiple strains of flu and the flu-jab doesn't cover them all, just most.  Getting the jab increases the odds.

[markjazzbassist]

4 hours ago, Matt said:

Herd immunity? It’s not about protecting you, it’s about protecting others that might not have a strong enough immune system 

I am pro vaccine, I am aware.  I am anti flu shot.  It does nothing.  I never get the flu ever.  Meanwhile all my co workers who get it yearly are laid up yearly with the flu.  Each year the strain is different, so they are producing an immunity to something that only appears once, because it is never the same flu.  That is not a vaccine, the measles is always the measles hence that vaccine does work.

 

flu shots are another way pharmaceutical companies are making big bucks off the public for no reason.  

[Cornish Steve]

9 hours ago, markjazzbassist said:

i would think a man of your intellect would be smart enough to know there is no need for a flu shot.  i never get one and surprise, i never get the flu.  my parents get them and they get the flu yearly.  there is a reason they are maknig incentives for it, its a scam.

Life's all about probabilities, not certainties. My mother, for example, never drank or smoked but died in her 70s; my aunt drank life a fish and smoked like a trooper and is thriving in her 80s and 90s. That's how probability works. Over large numbers, though, we'd see the opposite. This is why I eat healthily and exercise, because it improves my chances of living a longer and healthier life, but it in no wise guarantees it. It's the same with the 'flu shot. Statistics reveal that, for a total population, it's effective - with the effectiveness depending on how accurately the makers predict the predominant strain each year. For individuals, or individual families, there may be anomalies. So be it: I'm happy to go with probabilities and accept whatever God declares is my fate.

[Matt]

4 hours ago, markjazzbassist said:

I am pro vaccine, I am aware.  I am anti flu shot.  It does nothing.  I never get the flu ever.  Meanwhile all my co workers who get it yearly are laid up yearly with the flu.  Each year the strain is different, so they are producing an immunity to something that only appears once, because it is never the same flu.  That is not a vaccine, the measles is always the measles hence that vaccine does work.

 

flu shots are another way pharmaceutical companies are making big bucks off the public for no reason.  

But by getting the jab, you’re limiting the spread of the current strain. All viruses mutate. I’d bet good money that  vaccinations are adjusted over time it’s just that the flu is very adaptive vs say measles. 

I don’t get it either for the record but I see why people do.

whilst I don’t like big pharma, I don’t believe the conspiracy exists in general. 

[markjazzbassist]

21 minutes ago, Matt said:

But by getting the jab, you’re limiting the spread of the current strain. All viruses mutate. I’d bet good money that  vaccinations are adjusted over time it’s just that the flu is very adaptive vs say measles. 

I don’t get it either for the record but I see why people do.

whilst I don’t like big pharma, I don’t believe the conspiracy exists in general. 

For the record I work for a hospital and I have bosses and colleagues that don’t get it and have the same logic I do.  I don’t think it’s a full in conspiracy, just your regular capitalistic money making venture making a problem and an expensive solution where there is none.

[Matt]

17 minutes ago, markjazzbassist said:

For the record I work for a hospital and I have bosses and colleagues that don’t get it and have the same logic I do.  I don’t think it’s a full in conspiracy, just your regular capitalistic money making venture making a problem and an expensive solution where there is none.

Fair enough. I’ve always been advised by doctors and friends who are doctors who’ve told me to do it for the greater good. Maybe it’s a culture thing, especially considering the health and pharma systems in the US

[pete0]

7 hours ago, Matt said:

But by getting the jab, you’re limiting the spread of the current strain. All viruses mutate. I’d bet good money that  vaccinations are adjusted over time it’s just that the flu is very adaptive vs say measles. 

I don’t get it either for the record but I see why people do.

whilst I don’t like big pharma, I don’t believe the conspiracy exists in general. 

I'm not anti vac, think you're a dipshit if you don't for the most part but flu jab does seem to be redundant and I wouldn't be surprised if it coursed more harm than it solved. Flu is too complex for a vaccination unfortunately. 

[MikeO]

Short story, my mother-in-law has heart issues recently diagnosed in her late eighties so my wife is spending a lot of time with her. She lives in a stunning house in the Mendip Hills at the end of a farm track, dropped her off there today for the week-end. She also owns several fields surrounding the house bought by her hubby shortly before he died. Earlier wife noticed a car parked in the track and went to investigate the blockage and came across a couple engaging in "doggie style" relations in the field where M-I-L has planted an orchard!

Wife politely requested that they desist and fuck off (probably not good use of language) which they did. Not a usual sight in rural Somerset!

[MikeO]

More than a little unfortunate this!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-49783851

[MikeO]

Was in Tesco's earlier and spotted a guy wearing a Wimbledon shirt so I (as is my character much to my wife's eternal embarrassment) accosted him and said I lived in Wimbledon for ten years and saw many games there. We chatted about Plough Lane and the local pubs but then was amazed when he told me where he used to work when he lived there.....same company as I spent seventeen years with! He was on a different site about half a mile from where I was and a different division so our paths would never have crossed but what are the odds? It was no multi-national concern either, family run business employing at its peak maybe 70/80 people. Love it when something like that happens!

[Matt]

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-49908660

Didn’t realize he was so old. The face of the news for me growing up. 

[johnh]

On 19/09/2019 at 00:56, pete0 said:

I'm not anti vac, think you're a dipshit if you don't for the most part but flu jab does seem to be redundant and I wouldn't be surprised if it coursed more harm than it solved. Flu is too complex for a vaccination unfortunately. 

I get my flu jab every year.  Last year I got flu (Her indoors reckoned it was a mild cold!) and the GP surgery told me that, last year, there were three strains of flu doing the rounds and  the flu jab only covered one.  Have already had my jab for this winter.

[Matt]

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-49901451

Canada. 

“I have an irrational opinion”

”ok, but you know it’s irrational, right?”

”yeah, fair enough”

[pete0]

10 hours ago, johnh said:

I get my flu jab every year.  Last year I got flu (Her indoors reckoned it was a mild cold!) and the GP surgery told me that, last year, there were three strains of flu doing the rounds and  the flu jab only covered one.  Have already had my jab for this winter.

I hope it protects you and is worth the cost of being a little be poorly to ultimately be resistant from it.

But as you say it's only protecting you from one third of the strains, seems a little redundant if it's only protecting from one or of three. Either way wouldn't wish flu on anyone so hope you stay well. 

[MikeO]

Having bitten the bullet and decided to try and find a few old friends on Faceache I've tracked down a guy I worked with (and for after a while when he was made a director, he was the boss's son) for the best part of twenty years; hesitating to message him because I hate him (we used to be good mates) because he now drives this, 2004 Morgan 4x4 with an 1800cc Ford Zetec engine. Bastard.

Joking aside I'm well happy for him and will message him in the next couple of days, he's a good guy and I begrudge him nothing.

[MikeO]

Flying to Madrid tomorrow, only staying one night but have a full day of exploring Wednesday before a late flight home....all to feed wife's nicotine habit; will go with a virtually empty suitcase and come back with it rammed with Golden Virginia, saves a fortune long term despite flight and hotel cost. Last chance to do so legally in all likelihood unfortunately.

[MikeO]

@Cornish Stevethought you might like this.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-cornwall-49972120/the-musicians-helping-to-revive-the-cornish-language