Shukes Posted June 23, 2023 Report Share Posted June 23, 2023 I have never been caught with drugs, never got caught throwing partied during lockdown! It would have been difficult to arch me though because I have never taken drugs, and didn’t throw parties during lockdown. Your own actions 100% can lead you into difficult places. Sometimes you may already be suffering from depression and your actions are a result of that……but equally, sometimes you’re just that type of person. Was Barkleys actions a result of depression or was it he’s a bit of a knob? Does Pickford react with the crowd because he is suffering from some sort of depression, or did he just need to grow up a bit? Was my partner a bit of a tit pulling the handbrake on the motorway at 80mph while I was driving, or was she suffering from severe depression? Its easy to see two sides to this discussion if you try to look at it objectively. On Dele, I actually think he is suffering some kind of depression. The evidence I would use, is his use of the England teams psychologist. Now I understand that she would have been available to the whole squad. But his use has been singled out several times. StevO 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted June 23, 2023 Report Share Posted June 23, 2023 14 hours ago, Shukes said: I have never been caught with drugs, never got caught throwing partied during lockdown! It would have been difficult to arch me though because I have never taken drugs, and didn’t throw parties during lockdown. Your own actions 100% can lead you into difficult places. Sometimes you may already be suffering from depression and your actions are a result of that……but equally, sometimes you’re just that type of person. Was Barkleys actions a result of depression or was it he’s a bit of a knob? Does Pickford react with the crowd because he is suffering from some sort of depression, or did he just need to grow up a bit? Was my partner a bit of a tit pulling the handbrake on the motorway at 80mph while I was driving, or was she suffering from severe depression? Its easy to see two sides to this discussion if you try to look at it objectively. On Dele, I actually think he is suffering some kind of depression. The evidence I would use, is his use of the England teams psychologist. Now I understand that she would have been available to the whole squad. But his use has been singled out several times. Think the wine fridge needs a reset mate. Shukes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shukes Posted June 24, 2023 Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 9 hours ago, Matt said: Think the wine fridge needs a reset mate. I just feel I’m a person that is responsible for my own actions that’s all mate. I know so many people have done bad things….. and I just can’t excuse them due to mental health. I have also been through the worst moments of my life due to mental health issues, and I did everything in my power to help…. But learnt that you can’t fix everything. It was heartbreaking to go through. I lost part of myself through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted June 24, 2023 Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 59 minutes ago, Shukes said: I just feel I’m a person that is responsible for my own actions that’s all mate. I know so many people have done bad things….. and I just can’t excuse them due to mental health. I have also been through the worst moments of my life due to mental health issues, and I did everything in my power to help…. But learnt that you can’t fix everything. It was heartbreaking to go through. I lost part of myself through it. Some people will use mental health as an excuse. Mental health and bad things are not intrinsically linked. Whilst your first statement is fundamentally true, mental health acts like the puppet master. If you can share how you learnt how to accept and move on, I'd love to know. 25 years I've been trying but never worked it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Shukes Posted June 24, 2023 Popular Post Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 It was my partner Matt. She suffered and still does now. We are great friends still, but it ultimately ruined our relationship. It got to the point where I was receiving physical harm…. Because I was the easiest person for her to take it out on. We split up before it got to a non return point. I went to therapy with her and tried everything possible. In the end I accepted that I just couldn’t help her. Now I’m married with kids and my greatest friend is her brother. She is married and I still get called up once in a while by her husband so he can have a cry in my shoulder and ask for advice…. Which sadly I’m not qualified or knowledgeable enough to do, though I try to offer what I can. She has her moments still, but is doing so well. She’s a bank manager, and that keeps her mind generally busy. We’re all broken in some way. But we can’t be perfect, we can’t be complete all the time. I have just accepted that my faults and broken parts are me, and I’m concentrate on making the most of my.. better? Parts. Sorry off on one here. Need to only post when I’m drinking…. I make more sense then, and we all know how that turns out so I’ve got no hope haha. Bailey, Hafnia, Gwlad and 3 others 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palfy Posted June 24, 2023 Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 3 hours ago, Shukes said: It was my partner Matt. She suffered and still does now. We are great friends still, but it ultimately ruined our relationship. It got to the point where I was receiving physical harm…. Because I was the easiest person for her to take it out on. We split up before it got to a non return point. I went to therapy with her and tried everything possible. In the end I accepted that I just couldn’t help her. Now I’m married with kids and my greatest friend is her brother. She is married and I still get called up once in a while by her husband so he can have a cry in my shoulder and ask for advice…. Which sadly I’m not qualified or knowledgeable enough to do, though I try to offer what I can. She has her moments still, but is doing so well. She’s a bank manager, and that keeps her mind generally busy. We’re all broken in some way. But we can’t be perfect, we can’t be complete all the time. I have just accepted that my faults and broken parts are me, and I’m concentrate on making the most of my.. better? Parts. Sorry off on one here. Need to only post when I’m drinking…. I make more sense then, and we all know how that turns out so I’ve got no hope haha. You need to spend a few days with me mate and leave all your worries behind. I can’t guarantee it will send you back feeling any better, but your have a great crack and sometimes that’s the release we need to try and get some perspective on what’s going on in our lives. I’ll even stick a few bottles of red in the fridge Hafnia and Shukes 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shukes Posted June 24, 2023 Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 7 minutes ago, Palfy said: You need to spend a few days with me mate and leave all your worries behind. I can’t guarantee it will send you back feeling any better, but your have a great crack and sometimes that’s the release we need to try and get some perspective on what’s going on in our lives. I’ll even stick a few bottles of red in the fridge We should meet up one of the matches, a few of us. Would be fun to meet you guys. And 100% it would be great fun haha. Palfy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bailey Posted June 24, 2023 Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 On 22/06/2023 at 19:54, Matt said: Then you don't understand. Which I'm very grateful for. I do understand unfortunately. Maybe I just see my experiences differently, and in some ways, what you have said about yours differently. If there wasn't a part of you that didn't want something to change, you wouldn't be here. You didn't have to get treatment, but you did. You could have written it off after one counsellor, but you didn't. You said you have taken things from these professionals, when you didn't have to listen. My original point with Alli is that if he does have an issue (which is all conjecture at this point), then whilst his resources can get him to see the right people sooner, it still needs him to engage with that treatment. I hope that comes across in the right way, I am in no way trying to tell you how you felt etc. Its a hard thing to put into words and discuss properly on here. c1982 and Matt 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted June 24, 2023 Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 13 minutes ago, Bailey said: I do understand unfortunately. Maybe I just see my experiences differently, and in some ways, what you have said about yours differently. If there wasn't a part of you that didn't want something to change, you wouldn't be here. You didn't have to get treatment, but you did. You could have written it off after one counsellor, but you didn't. You said you have taken things from these professionals, when you didn't have to listen. My original point with Alli is that if he does have an issue (which is all conjecture at this point), then whilst his resources can get him to see the right people sooner, it still needs him to engage with that treatment. I hope that comes across in the right way, I am in no way trying to tell you how you felt etc. Its a hard thing to put into words and discuss properly on here. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. It is hard to discuss, I agree. So will stop there Bailey 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duncanmckenzieismagic Posted July 6, 2023 Report Share Posted July 6, 2023 https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/what-dele-alli-sean-dyche-27266486 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodison Glory Posted July 8, 2023 Report Share Posted July 8, 2023 Anything he contributes is a bonus. We should be expecting nothing. StevO and Matt 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwlad Posted July 8, 2023 Report Share Posted July 8, 2023 Better to leave it to Sean. He'll suss him out quickly enough. Matt 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palfy Posted July 8, 2023 Report Share Posted July 8, 2023 23 minutes ago, Gwlad all over said: Better to leave it to Sean. He'll suss him out quickly enough. I think that is what is going to happen, still 13 appearances before the so called 10m trigger payment which gives Dyche plenty of time to judge him fairly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plaidharper Posted July 8, 2023 Report Share Posted July 8, 2023 1 hour ago, Palfy said: I think that is what is going to happen, still 13 appearances before the so called 10m trigger payment which gives Dyche plenty of time to judge him fairly. Doubt he plays another game/minute for us. Also thought it was 7 games? Iamryanstover 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iamryanstover Posted July 8, 2023 Report Share Posted July 8, 2023 This whole Dele deal is such a microcosm of this club. Like Bill and Farhad. The best thing the club can do is get rid of Dele asap. This deal was always more dreaming than planning. Bailey and Trigger 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goodison Glory Posted July 9, 2023 Report Share Posted July 9, 2023 21 hours ago, Gwlad said: Better to leave it to Sean. He'll suss him out quickly enough. Like was said about every other manager before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romey 1878 Posted July 13, 2023 Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 KinL and Newty82 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Romey 1878 Posted July 13, 2023 Popular Post Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 Not that it was anyone's business but his own but maybe people will be appeased knowing he's sought help. KinL, Matt, MikeO and 4 others 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnsy Posted July 13, 2023 Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 Call me wildly/blindly optimistic, but part of me thinks that Dele & DCL could form a really good partnership this season & get a few goals.... Shukes and StevO 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnsy Posted July 13, 2023 Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 Maybe this is why I don't post very much Matt 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Hafnia Posted July 13, 2023 Popular Post Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 It really didn’t take a genius to work out that “he wasn’t in a good place”. It was unfortunate that even now in this day and age we need to explain the complexity of depression and that it’s not something that can be explained. he explained it perfectly when he said he was winning the battle by getting up and going to training with a smile but inside he was failing. You can only explain it when you come out. And yes, it was his history that was affecting him badly. He will be better as a result of this. Hopefully he now understands the warning signs of when he is slipping, cos when you are in the middle of the battle you don’t realise how serious the situation is. This thread is a perfect case study as to why people who are struggling feel like they cant talk about it. It goes back to the days where John Gregory said how can a millionaire be depressed - when referencing Collymore. This is not a dig at others but truly you can only understand depression when you've had it. For those who haven't had it - imagine this scenario "congratulations you have won £50M on the lottery" - your first thought would be "so what - id give it back to feel normal" Mental health like addiction has an archaic approach and lack of understanding. We are still using tablets that don't work for everyone to numb the person - which in my case is the best outcome available. Hopefully the clinical use of psychedelics gets pushed through - again it may not be for everyone but early indications suggest PTSD, addiction, bipolar, OCD can be helped. AlbanyNYToffee, dunlopp9987, KinL and 7 others 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duncanmckenzieismagic Posted July 13, 2023 Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 Hopefully this is the first step of his recovery KinL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted July 13, 2023 Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 Just a shit attitude though... Newty82 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuffRob Posted July 13, 2023 Author Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 I do very much feel for Alli as a person and hope being this open about his problems in the past now help him have a renewed optimism for the future. It appears like he is now facing his demons head on in a positive manner rather than in a destructive manner. I am sure he will get lots of support from the club and those around him. I feel Dyche will be a good manager for him in this sense. The lad obviously has an amazing footballing talent and it would be great to see him get back to his best rather than see that talent wasted, as in the long run that would become another demon for the lad to carry around with him. Turning himself around would give him immense pride and help him become a positive role model for others. I think purpose and pride in helping others is as good as any medication when suffering mental health issues - good luck Dele. KinL, StevO, Johnsy and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Hafnia Posted July 13, 2023 Popular Post Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 7 minutes ago, Matt said: Just a shit attitude though... He’s been too strong for too long. At risk of sounding like a hypocrite I’m well aware that in nearly every thread where players have “poor mentality” nearly all of us can fall foul of painting a player to have a bad attitude/weak mentality. That won’t end. It also won’t stop some people using mental health as a means of deflecting something that was in their control. there has been something obviously wrong with him. Never have I seen a player look like he’s there but not there, so much as dele Alli. Matt, StevO, Newty82 and 3 others 3 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romey 1878 Posted July 13, 2023 Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 StevO and KinL 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted July 13, 2023 Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 not got the time to watch it now but this seems to be the whole thing KinL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shukes Posted July 13, 2023 Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 45 minutes ago, Matt said: Just a shit attitude though... Seeing that brought so many bad moments back to me. Sitting here with tears in my eyes. What I would say though is it’s wrong for people to judge others on here who were simply questioning if it was depression, or if he has a bad attitude. There 100% are people out there who are bad people. And this comes from a big believer in Physics. It’s easy for a few on here to say I told you so, but in fact an educated guess is still a guess. Quoted you above Matt, but not directing this at you, but as a collective. Ive always felt that it’s strongly likely that he is really suffering, and this confirms it. But that isn’t due to my knowledge or ability to recognise this… but just my assumption being right, that’s all. It’s heartbreaking to see things like this and try to understand how they are feeling. It rips you apart inside. To see Neville’s reaction should bring it home to people. Dele has me wanting him to succeed so much. It would be a triumph for our club to bring this young man back to enjoying his sport. Worth a lot more than a 10m risk. I will give him the biggest welcome i can when he enters the pitch next. StevO, dunlopp9987 and KinL 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romey 1878 Posted July 13, 2023 Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 8 minutes ago, Matt said: not got the time to watch it now but this seems to be the whole thing The link was in the original tweet from Neville. Slow on the uptake today, Matt? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hafnia Posted July 13, 2023 Report Share Posted July 13, 2023 Molested at the age of 6 by his alcoholic mums drinking partner, hung off a bridge at 11, sent to Africa. Any wonder why he “self medicated”. I did point out that he had a troubled background a while back, his blood parents got their version out there didn’t they. No wonder Alli got taken off his shirt. Matt, Romey 1878, Goodison Glory and 2 others 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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